Another loved one lost the battle
Occasional poor taste poster
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 2,542
Another loved one lost the battle
This morning I was walking my dog and noticed the most beautiful morning sky I could ever recall seeing. It was almost electric, hard to describe. Shortly after returning home I received word that my ex wife had passed away before sunrise. This coming week I will join her family at her funeral and she will be laid to rest at a church a few miles from my home on a road I travel by frequently. She was the love of my life and I will miss her terribly, even though we have been divorced for four years I feel her loss today as if we had never been divorced. We grew up in the same neighborhood and dated off and on since we were teenagers and I have lasting memories from almost every period of my life. Rest in peace M, your struggle is over.
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 1,103
Jazzman, omg, I am sooo sorry. Someone used the word "hate" as in "I hate this disease" and said "maybe it's too strong." oh no-it is defnitely NOT too strong of a word, not for an illness that robs us of the people we love...so many wonderful, worthwhile, talented, amazing people who failed to reach their potential...who failed to live happy, honorable, fulfilling lives simply because they made bad choices and ended up addicted.
It's the ultimate tragedy.
My heart goes out to you.
It's the ultimate tragedy.
My heart goes out to you.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: behind the viewfinder...
Posts: 6,278
(((((Jazz)))))
My heart goes out to you. I have read more posts like this on SR than I care to remember. It's so sad that sometimes rock bottom has to be death. Sending comforting thoughts to you and your boys.
L
My heart goes out to you. I have read more posts like this on SR than I care to remember. It's so sad that sometimes rock bottom has to be death. Sending comforting thoughts to you and your boys.
L
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Merced, CA
Posts: 77
Dear Jazzman:
I'm so sorry for your loss. Sometimes it seems that when a loved one dies of alcoholism, their death is made all the more difficult for their survivors because as survivors, we can torment ourselves with the thought that our alcoholic loved one "could have-would have-should have" saved themselves, and their lives. It's hard not to feel anger that they have left us, rather than gotten well.
I've struggled for years with the loss of a dear friend, to alcoholism. He was briefly able to free himself, but eventually fell back into drinking and we watched helplessly as he self destructed. He died at age 56, alone in his house, and shut off from his friends and family who could not reach him.
As I dealt with my own grief, I was able to take the view that for some alcoholics, a cure is just not possible. They might as well have died from cancer, or kidney failure, or some other terminal illness. Some of these poor souls simply CANNOT escape their addiction.
I hope you can remember the good times with your beloved, mourn her loss, but accept that for her, an early death was her fate. Some part of her lives on, if only in your heart.
Electa
I'm so sorry for your loss. Sometimes it seems that when a loved one dies of alcoholism, their death is made all the more difficult for their survivors because as survivors, we can torment ourselves with the thought that our alcoholic loved one "could have-would have-should have" saved themselves, and their lives. It's hard not to feel anger that they have left us, rather than gotten well.
I've struggled for years with the loss of a dear friend, to alcoholism. He was briefly able to free himself, but eventually fell back into drinking and we watched helplessly as he self destructed. He died at age 56, alone in his house, and shut off from his friends and family who could not reach him.
As I dealt with my own grief, I was able to take the view that for some alcoholics, a cure is just not possible. They might as well have died from cancer, or kidney failure, or some other terminal illness. Some of these poor souls simply CANNOT escape their addiction.
I hope you can remember the good times with your beloved, mourn her loss, but accept that for her, an early death was her fate. Some part of her lives on, if only in your heart.
Electa
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