firestorm090

Today is my third day without a drink this time around and as usual my thoughts are a jumbled mess, swirling around in a sea of gobblygook in my head. I'm glad that I did not drink today. I feel that my thoughts are not to be trusted when I feel that it's too late for this ole 50 yr. old drunk to build a new life out of the shambles of my addiction. Then again, sometimes I agree with the thoughts and feel it's too late, that the damage is done and cannot be changed nor ignored. This is really a battle I face daily, trying to find that slight glimmer of hope, trying to be grateful for the life I've lived and the time remaining. When I'm grateful, things seem to go better everyday, but then when I slip into the ole "poor me" mindset, it rapidly becomes a "pour me another one" mindset. I actually like being grateful, yet I can't seem to maintain that sense of gratitude for long. Also, I actually like myself better when I'm sober, but can't seem to maintain that for very long either. I guess I really need to learn how to simply live one day at a time, like I've heard a thousand times. Boy, sometimes I'm just plain dense and pigheaded. Thanks again SR for being here.

MycoolFitz

Geez you're a youngster. I got sober at 62 after 45 years of drinking 3 marriages DUIs, etc. etc. My dad quit at 78 after 60 years of drinking. Click your heels together 3 times and say "enough" and come home to sobriety from whence you started.

Mark75

I Turned 52 last Sunday Firestorm... Life is just starting....

Hang in there, it gets better...

Mark

coffeenut

I am a 50 y/o EX drunk, too. Spent 30 years being stupid. Takes some of us longer than others to 'get it', I guess.

BTW.....the best part of that....is the EX. This past year has been one of the best of my life. I have spent more time feeling like I am finally in the right place, than I ever have before.

Sobriety definitely Rocks.

Horselover

You are never too old to stop. Never! Did you hear me? LOL! I do mean it. My stepdad stopped because he had to due to health reasons. He lived a lot longer and happier by being able to stop then he would have had he not. Quality of life is something to consider also. You can do this.

cptspalding

Hi firestorm

Look at it this way. At what age are you going to reach when you say to yourself dammit why didn't I get sober at 50.

Good luck and all the best.

P.s loved your signiture it made me laugh.

Gypsy Feet

I had the life of a kid back in the day. At 14, I began my life as a wild teen. At 20, I started my life as a mom. At 27ish, I started my life as a wife

I had a 28 year drinking career.
a 1 day real estate agent career
a 5 month teaching career

We have all been lots of things D. We reinvent ourselves constantly. Student, lover, friend, neighbor, teacher, son, etc etc
At 43, I had a spiritual awakening. This awakening took place on my quest for sobriety, and was guided by the fine folks on SR (that includes you dear friend).

It didn't happen right away. I had to mourn the loss of booze for awhile. I had to go through the stages of grief, denial, anger, depression, the works. But after the toxins were out of my body, and I stopped beating myself up

I got better. It really does get better D. Stick with it. Grasp all the hope and joy, wisdom and support you can. Believe in yourself, and in greater things being possible and it will happen for you too.

firestorm090

I know all of you are right, it's never really too late till you're pushing up daisies, but by then it doesn't matter. Quality of life really is something to strongly consider and today is as good a day as any to start learning how to really live clean and sober, and learn how to face life on life's terms as well as embrace life on life's terms. Today was a success, I didn't drink and I learned a little more about this problem that has caused so much pain for so many. Just gonna try to repeat the same tomorrow.

fragrantrose

Dear Firestorm
It is NEVER TOO LATE i am 52 and want to spend the "afternoon" of my life healthy and free of all bondages especially ETHONAL ALCOHOL which is a poisonous substance to me. My last binge I actually started at 10am and that was a serious wakeup call as i never thought I would ever be a morning drinker. I empathise with you sooooo much as I know how HARD a battle it is to stop once this disease gets you. Just hang in here, as it
is so encouraging. And just remember it will get easier once we get the first 30 days over with!

OZboy

..fs..you 50?..
..gee,i remember that..
..things start falling off....some bits stop werkin'..yeeeeeeeuck!!

..anyway...kick the DOC..you'll love it..your friend ...Oz..

vegibean

firestorm, you sound like you're just going through the normal motions. I wouldn't listen to your head either, LOL!!! I don't know what your longest time of sobriety was but I can tell you that the longer you're sober the easier it does get. Have you done the 12 Steps with a sponsor? I'm a big fan of those, for me they were a very important part of the getting sober process.

I have to shut down the voices in my head that tell me all the many reasons why it would be a good idea to pick up. As soon as my head starts going there I immediately shut the thoughts down. They're just not worth feeding.

firestorm, I know you can do this if I can. When I went to rehab a couple years ago I never thought I'd be able to stay sober, I looked to all the other people that had been sober and just told myself "if they can do it, so can you vegi!!" I'm celebrating my two year anniversary next month. YAY!!!!!!!!!

I feel for you. Hang in there, keep reading and posting.

mikel60

Hey firestorm,

I'm right behind you at 49, but realize that there is a lot of living left to do. I've been sober a little while, but realize that I can change my sobriety date anytime. I choose not to today -there's too much for us oldtimers to do!

Stay strong, keep posting, and remember if you got up earlier than me today, you've been sober longer!

Mike

jamdls

FS I stopped drinking at 50, while i was drinking i thought there was nothing to live for. The last 2 yrs have been 2 of the best yrs of my life the calm and peacefulness I feel are amazing. and now that I don't drink I feel at least 10 yrs younger than I am! My dad quit drinking at 60 and he and my mom spent the next 25 yrs having the best years of their 60 yr marriage until she passed away. It is never too late.

marty888

My sponsor stopped at 51 years of age and just celebrated 26 years. She is adamant its been the best 26 years of her life

firestorm090

OzSandy,

Hi my friend. Thank you for taking the time to share some of your thoughts with me regarding the complexities that underlie our addictive behaviours. It is puzzling to try to sort out the various triggers and emotional trauma that lead us down the path of escape, only to find ourselves caught and held captive by a much stronger and meaner master. Sobriety is finally looking like the easier path to choose, drinking has just compounded the problems that have existed from childhood and added more problems to the list of difficulties with which we all struggle. Today is day four and it appears to be a great day to stay sober, September 1st is my new sobriety date and I like the ring to that. It's an easy date to remember, lol.

Thanks to all of you here, I feel a bit better today, more positive and optimistic. Also, I cancelled a trip to a party town for the weekend, now I need to fill in the blanks for my schedule this weekend. I think I'll try the AA meetings again. In fact, I think I'll do that today. Will let you know how it went. Thanks again SR.

littlefish

You feelings will gradually improve. You are right now in a state of acute post abstinance and those first few days are very hard. Your brain is trying to get it's various reward systems back on line, because those systems are knocked out by alcohol/drugs. Your emotions are going to be all over the map. Your liver is going through a hard time too and may not be able to process some important vitamins and other elements that you need to feel good.
This state will pass and within a few days you will start feeling better...hang in there!

NewBeginning010

Glad to have you back FS, you can do this

Emily2002

[QUOTE=firestorm090;2354338] It is puzzling to try to sort out the various triggers and emotional trauma that lead us down the path of escape, only to find ourselves caught and held captive by a much stronger and meaner master. Sobriety is finally looking like the easier path to choose, drinking has just compounded the problems that have existed from childhood and added more problems to the list of difficulties with which we all struggle. Today is day four and it appears to be a great day to stay sober, September 1st is my new sobriety date and I like the ring to that. It's an easy date to remember, lol.QUOTE]

I could have written this word for word, FS -- even the part about its being day four and September 1 being an easy day to remember!

Glad you're back and committed to hanging in there.