Got Ambushed!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Texas
Posts: 178
Got Ambushed!
Hi ladies,
It has been a while since I been posting. My little angel is doing great and he is growing stronger each day:-)
I have been doing very well. Life is great!
Something happened last week that through me a off balance and I like to share it.
My ex called me, as he has been for the past 8 month since I left of and on. He called me Sunday and asked me to come see him. I was doubtful but I went. We had a wonderful time and we talked a little about things.
He told me how much he loves me and that he always has. Than he looked at me and said, I need to talk to my parents because I made you out to be a monster with them.(that would explain why I have not heard from his mom when we had such a wonderful relationship before). I was shocked to hear this but not really surprised.
Than he asked me to fogive him. He said to give him time to straighten out his life.
We spend the rest of the time together and just enjoying one another and it felt right.
At some point I went to sleep and when I woke up I noticed he was still outside on the patio. When I looked I saw him smoke a joint . I never seen him smoke this stuff. I asked him what was going on with this and he said oh I only did that twice and wont do it again! I feel he lied.
The next day he called and we talked. I told him that I was concerned with him smoking drugs and I did not like it or will tolerate that. He asured me it was a two time thing! RIGHT!
Than he totally changed his attitude. He said he is going to start a job and he will be traveling for 12 month and after he will relocate. I said well that is great that you finally found a job, than he said well it is not for sure yet. I asked did you talk to your parents and he sarcasticially said no, that probably won't happen.
I hung up because I knew he was in his mood and I was not about to hang around on the phone listening to his crap.
The very next day his aunt emailed me. She has been in touch with me the whole time and we are friends. She asked me if I had talked to my ex and what was going on. So I told her what he had said to me in regards to his parents.
The very next morning, early he calls me , yelling at me asking me why I am talking to his aunt. I was stunned! I feel I did nothing wrong.
He asked me what I was telling her and I told him. Still thinking I am not doing anything wrong.
He started to yell at me and said to me , I don't love you, don't call me anymore, don't write me anymore , I will not marry you . It is best this way. I know you are hurting but it will be best in the long run. My life is in a rott and I need to find a way out of it.
He yelled, stay away from my family. I have not spoken to his family since I left. The only person that keeps in touch with me is his aunt. because we are friends.
When we talk mostly we talk about life. We barely talk about my ex.
Why is he trying to keep me away from his family?
Totally insane behavior. I was so stunned I could barely breath nor talk. He hung up on me.
I have not contacted him at all, I never write to him. He is the one who calls and tries to pull me back that is what blew my mind so much. Why would he say things like this knowing they not true?
He has not changed. He still lives at home. He has bills up his butt and no job still. He still drinks and he is still in denial. Now I saw him smoke drugs!
You know I thought maybe, just maybe he has something now to show me but he hasen't.
Why he constantly wants to pull me in is beyound me. I know he loves me in his dysfunctional way but that is not the life I want for me and it re confirmed it.
I haven't heard anything since this all happened this past week. I am hoping I won't hear from him again after this. Who am I kidding right?
I am doing fine now , my life is good and I know I don't want this drama in my life.
His behavior is totally insane. I never been around drugs in my life. Is this why he acts so totally insane? Could it be that he has been doing this for a while now?
I tell you guys when I was there he was treating me like gold. Only 1-2 days later he was like the devil himself. I never seen anything like it.
So I am back to my life , perhaps a little wiser than I was before and I am doing great.
This blew my mind! What do you all think? He totally ambushed me with that phone call. I had no idea. I am still speechless to all of this.
I know that whatever ticked him off had nothing to do with me. I did nothing wrong yet he used me as his punching bag that morning.
Any thoughts on this?
It has been a while since I been posting. My little angel is doing great and he is growing stronger each day:-)
I have been doing very well. Life is great!
Something happened last week that through me a off balance and I like to share it.
My ex called me, as he has been for the past 8 month since I left of and on. He called me Sunday and asked me to come see him. I was doubtful but I went. We had a wonderful time and we talked a little about things.
He told me how much he loves me and that he always has. Than he looked at me and said, I need to talk to my parents because I made you out to be a monster with them.(that would explain why I have not heard from his mom when we had such a wonderful relationship before). I was shocked to hear this but not really surprised.
Than he asked me to fogive him. He said to give him time to straighten out his life.
We spend the rest of the time together and just enjoying one another and it felt right.
At some point I went to sleep and when I woke up I noticed he was still outside on the patio. When I looked I saw him smoke a joint . I never seen him smoke this stuff. I asked him what was going on with this and he said oh I only did that twice and wont do it again! I feel he lied.
The next day he called and we talked. I told him that I was concerned with him smoking drugs and I did not like it or will tolerate that. He asured me it was a two time thing! RIGHT!
Than he totally changed his attitude. He said he is going to start a job and he will be traveling for 12 month and after he will relocate. I said well that is great that you finally found a job, than he said well it is not for sure yet. I asked did you talk to your parents and he sarcasticially said no, that probably won't happen.
I hung up because I knew he was in his mood and I was not about to hang around on the phone listening to his crap.
The very next day his aunt emailed me. She has been in touch with me the whole time and we are friends. She asked me if I had talked to my ex and what was going on. So I told her what he had said to me in regards to his parents.
The very next morning, early he calls me , yelling at me asking me why I am talking to his aunt. I was stunned! I feel I did nothing wrong.
He asked me what I was telling her and I told him. Still thinking I am not doing anything wrong.
He started to yell at me and said to me , I don't love you, don't call me anymore, don't write me anymore , I will not marry you . It is best this way. I know you are hurting but it will be best in the long run. My life is in a rott and I need to find a way out of it.
He yelled, stay away from my family. I have not spoken to his family since I left. The only person that keeps in touch with me is his aunt. because we are friends.
When we talk mostly we talk about life. We barely talk about my ex.
Why is he trying to keep me away from his family?
Totally insane behavior. I was so stunned I could barely breath nor talk. He hung up on me.
I have not contacted him at all, I never write to him. He is the one who calls and tries to pull me back that is what blew my mind so much. Why would he say things like this knowing they not true?
He has not changed. He still lives at home. He has bills up his butt and no job still. He still drinks and he is still in denial. Now I saw him smoke drugs!
You know I thought maybe, just maybe he has something now to show me but he hasen't.
Why he constantly wants to pull me in is beyound me. I know he loves me in his dysfunctional way but that is not the life I want for me and it re confirmed it.
I haven't heard anything since this all happened this past week. I am hoping I won't hear from him again after this. Who am I kidding right?
I am doing fine now , my life is good and I know I don't want this drama in my life.
His behavior is totally insane. I never been around drugs in my life. Is this why he acts so totally insane? Could it be that he has been doing this for a while now?
I tell you guys when I was there he was treating me like gold. Only 1-2 days later he was like the devil himself. I never seen anything like it.
So I am back to my life , perhaps a little wiser than I was before and I am doing great.
This blew my mind! What do you all think? He totally ambushed me with that phone call. I had no idea. I am still speechless to all of this.
I know that whatever ticked him off had nothing to do with me. I did nothing wrong yet he used me as his punching bag that morning.
Any thoughts on this?
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Join Date: May 2003
Location: Iowa USA
Posts: 102
short term good behavior
So - he is trying. But he is still not capable of good behavior for very long. Imagine him taking a chance at smoking a joint while you were there. He must have wanted it more than he wanted you.
Nothing is different really, you gave him another chance, and nothing is different. Just move on down the road, as you have been.
Nothing is different really, you gave him another chance, and nothing is different. Just move on down the road, as you have been.
Learning to love life...
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 529
Hi PW!
It is great to hear from you...
And I have to agree... he will keep pulling you in, because you let him. Also, he KNOWS how well you played into the dysfunction before, and he WANTS the "smoke-screen" back.
Remember?
When you were a committed and willing partner, HE was able to maintain the disease - no guilt, no consequences - I am sure he misses it.
You will always be "in contact" with this man, as the father of your son... but give yourself space; Like Gabe said "make a clean break".
Take care girl
Meg
It is great to hear from you...
And I have to agree... he will keep pulling you in, because you let him. Also, he KNOWS how well you played into the dysfunction before, and he WANTS the "smoke-screen" back.
Remember?
When you were a committed and willing partner, HE was able to maintain the disease - no guilt, no consequences - I am sure he misses it.
You will always be "in contact" with this man, as the father of your son... but give yourself space; Like Gabe said "make a clean break".
Take care girl
Meg
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