Off to the Gorge.......
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 1,307
Off to the Gorge.......
To make NEW memories. This will be my 4th year in a row.
The past 3 years - my *x* has had some involvement with my being at the Gorge, but he has never actually gone there with me. He was either helping me pack or getting me to my meet up or texting me back and forth.... Me texting him during songs that would make me think about him/ us..... and this time last year - he buried my dog while I was at the Gorge.
So - this year... the first year .... w/out him having any present part.
I purposely didn't get my phone fixed in case he sends me multi media message.... and I know that i don't have the will power to not look on my own.... i need that block in place.
Today - he has been in my thoughts. I couldn't even point out what the main thought is.... I'm going through all the stages of grief today. Back and forth - from one to the other. I know they will fade ... but today has been a hard day - where really it should be an exciting day! Sometimes it's harder to not think of him than it is to not have a cigarette.
Anywho --
Hope you all enjoy your 3 day weekend (if you have one) and be good.... be safe!
Peace xoxoxo
The past 3 years - my *x* has had some involvement with my being at the Gorge, but he has never actually gone there with me. He was either helping me pack or getting me to my meet up or texting me back and forth.... Me texting him during songs that would make me think about him/ us..... and this time last year - he buried my dog while I was at the Gorge.
So - this year... the first year .... w/out him having any present part.
I purposely didn't get my phone fixed in case he sends me multi media message.... and I know that i don't have the will power to not look on my own.... i need that block in place.
Today - he has been in my thoughts. I couldn't even point out what the main thought is.... I'm going through all the stages of grief today. Back and forth - from one to the other. I know they will fade ... but today has been a hard day - where really it should be an exciting day! Sometimes it's harder to not think of him than it is to not have a cigarette.
Anywho --
Hope you all enjoy your 3 day weekend (if you have one) and be good.... be safe!
Peace xoxoxo
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 1,307
Back to reality!
Home now..... 3 great shows..... it goes by so quickly!
It rained a bit (and was windy), but everyone is so happy and cheery there - that nobody was really bothered by it. We all just did our best to stay dry and to not let it get in any way of our enjoyment. We also got a double rainbow after one of the down pours.
The second night being away - I find out that my boys are both running fevers - I too didn't feel well, but shrugged it off as being allergies. When I found out my boys had fevers and I wasn't feeling better.... then I knew a dr. appointment for us all was in order. I saw the out of town doctor - diagnosed with sinus infection. Later, one of my boys was given tamaflu for the h1n1 virus, rightfully so, as the culture came back the following day as being positive. My oldest wasn't diagnosed with anything because he wasn't as sick as his younger brother. (I wasn't there- so I had to trust that their father was going to take care) - and he did. He was really concerned about his youngest baby (1 year old) - getting it.
Anywho- we are all home now, safe and sound. Boys are home bound this week - as they are still showing symptoms - but mild ones. Thinking of taking them to the doctor tomorrow or Friday for a follow up.
It's time now to get to the grind. I've had so many wonderful things to look forward to from August thru Labor Day...... now not so much. But that doesn't have to remain - I can make some plans/goals and keep moving forward.
Please send good vibes that we all get well ... being tired/lethargic/fatigued is one of the major symptoms we are all experiencing.
So, I have to recognize that while making these plans/goals
Peace and Love
xoxoxo
Here is Heaven's amphitheater:
aaaaaaaaaaand.... I was hoping to dash around it, but I'll go ahead and add in that...... this Gorge trip was different for many reasons, which made the obvious one *internally* seem much less. Thinking of my *x* was less than when we were together. Now it's just the memories that haunt me.... remembering how I felt for this or that reason. Not just the bad - but I also remember the good. I will recognize when I haven't thought about him/us.... and the times of thinking are lessening and the times of not thinking about him/us are getting further apart. But dayum I'd be lying if I didn't say that I can still feel every emotion to my core. I trust that time will fade these emotions/sensations.
(I'm sorry - but even talking about it - gives me a heavy heart - it's so much easier on me to not think or talk about him. It feels like avoidance)
It rained a bit (and was windy), but everyone is so happy and cheery there - that nobody was really bothered by it. We all just did our best to stay dry and to not let it get in any way of our enjoyment. We also got a double rainbow after one of the down pours.
The second night being away - I find out that my boys are both running fevers - I too didn't feel well, but shrugged it off as being allergies. When I found out my boys had fevers and I wasn't feeling better.... then I knew a dr. appointment for us all was in order. I saw the out of town doctor - diagnosed with sinus infection. Later, one of my boys was given tamaflu for the h1n1 virus, rightfully so, as the culture came back the following day as being positive. My oldest wasn't diagnosed with anything because he wasn't as sick as his younger brother. (I wasn't there- so I had to trust that their father was going to take care) - and he did. He was really concerned about his youngest baby (1 year old) - getting it.
Anywho- we are all home now, safe and sound. Boys are home bound this week - as they are still showing symptoms - but mild ones. Thinking of taking them to the doctor tomorrow or Friday for a follow up.
It's time now to get to the grind. I've had so many wonderful things to look forward to from August thru Labor Day...... now not so much. But that doesn't have to remain - I can make some plans/goals and keep moving forward.
Please send good vibes that we all get well ... being tired/lethargic/fatigued is one of the major symptoms we are all experiencing.
So, I have to recognize that while making these plans/goals
Peace and Love
xoxoxo
Here is Heaven's amphitheater:
aaaaaaaaaaand.... I was hoping to dash around it, but I'll go ahead and add in that...... this Gorge trip was different for many reasons, which made the obvious one *internally* seem much less. Thinking of my *x* was less than when we were together. Now it's just the memories that haunt me.... remembering how I felt for this or that reason. Not just the bad - but I also remember the good. I will recognize when I haven't thought about him/us.... and the times of thinking are lessening and the times of not thinking about him/us are getting further apart. But dayum I'd be lying if I didn't say that I can still feel every emotion to my core. I trust that time will fade these emotions/sensations.
(I'm sorry - but even talking about it - gives me a heavy heart - it's so much easier on me to not think or talk about him. It feels like avoidance)
Last edited by Abundance; 09-10-2009 at 03:19 AM.
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