BKP

I attempted to go to an AA meeting Saturday night, I usually do am or afternoon meetings. Well I wated outside the door for 45mins with several others and no meeting. So I was naturally angry, I attemped to put this behind me and go on with my night. So my girlfriend and I stopped into an old bar i use to go to and ordered some soda, she did also (she is not in AA and does not have a drinking problem but she's an amazing help, has been for the 7months i have been sober). My intentions were to listen to live music, well the band was not playing and i decided to leave, i ran into an old friend of mine who offered to buy us drinks. I told him I was in AA and walked out, I was pissed at what i have become, whom i became at the time. I was so sick of making excuses, i just wanted to drink and drink and drink until i was blackedout. I didn't have one sip, but that meeting could have helped me out, thank god my awesome girlfriend was supportive of me. I almost had 7 months of soberity gone. :praying

Aysha

Well I am glad you made it.
I know that took alot of strength to do.
You may have been mad. But maybe that same anger is what helped you through.
Keep doing the right thing.

jade09

I also get really p*ssed that I can no longer ENJOY a drink with friends.....I can no longer go to social outings after work....I can not enjoy a well deserved cold one after a hard day of yard work or house work.....I can't get buzzed at weddings, showers or ANY kind of party...I can't take a shot to celebrate a birthday, anniversary---I can't even come home after a sh*tty day and open a beer or make a drink...........
THE TRUTH IS..... FOR ME ANYWAY
I HAVE ALREADY DRANK ENOUGH.....TO LAST MORE THAN A LIFETIME.........................
So that's my thought....I've had enough......It's no longer an option for me....that door is CLOSED

BKP

Good feedback, you guys are right that first drink never ends in the mind of a drunk like myself.

jade09

It nevers ends.............................................. ..
until you are ready to end it, for good
CLOSE THE DOOR

SelfSeeking

I have to say, my old watering hole would NOT be my first choice of places to go after an AA meeting fell through

I was sober 6 months and was in an angry state of mind, stressed out and resenting not being able to "check out" and get trashed and was offered a drink at just the wrong moment. I took it. That was almost 4 months ago and coming back was hard, but it definitely taught me that self-pity ("why aren't I NORMAL, it's not FAIR that I'm an alcoholic) will lead me to a drink. And the drink is just the same as it was before- nothing good.

jade09

So true.....that "one good old drink" brings you back to the same old misery....same old laughs,,,same old feeling that leads to SH*T......not worth it....gotta find another way to nake it thru wahtever it is that troubles you.....the drink will fix it for a minute,,,,after that..........you're back where you started or worse

Dee74

I'm glad you made it BKP - Sorry the meeting didn't happen - but sometimes things don't go as planned you know?

That's the way it is for all of us, alcoholic or not. You gotta roll with the punches and basically let stuff go - don't sweat the small stuff

And, yeah....I'm not sure I would have gone to a bar - especially not if I was ticked off. It could have gone the other way BKP - I've been there.

D

yeahgr8

Did the others not want to go for a coffee? What did they do after you left? Did you go to your old bar because of the AA meeting not happeneing? People, places, things...stay away from them...you were lucky your girlfriend was with you or this thread would be another 'i relapsed' or as you go to AA 'i chose to drink'...

Still you dodged a bullet so i guess you must be feeling pretty grateful today for that:-)

tommyk

BKP - congrats on passing Saturday night's test.

You studied hard for it and clearly demonstrated what you have learned.

A+

CarolD

Hmmm....
Each time I returned to drinking after I decided to stop
at lease 2 of the HALT elements were happening.

Don't allow yourself to become overly
Hungry
Angery
Lonely
Tired

A question? As others were there waiting for a meeting
why didn't you have one? If the door was locked
you could have sat outside in a circle and shared.

Gratitude is always a good solid topic.
An unstructured meeting is still a meeting....

Well done on your 7 sober months

Anna

I was angry too when I recognized I had become addicted.

I'm glad you got through that.

Tazman53

BKP Congrats on 7 months sober.

Glad you made it through that also.

You know in the BB it mentions that one day all that will stand between you and a drink is your HP, the day will yet come where an AA meeting will not be there, nor will your girl friend, are you in tune enough with your HP to turn to your HP for the strength to not drink?

I have already been there once, I prayed and I prayed hard, I was led to my cell phone in my pocket and I called and kept calling until I got some one, I like you was madder then I had been in a very long time, if a drink had been right there I would have drank it, but I was still at that phase in my sobriety where being in a place where there were drinks readily available was a VERY bad idea.

I called upon my HP and instead of ignoring him and pulling into a 7-11 he led me to call some one. Some would say that "That wasn't your HP, that was you!" To them I would say they do not know me very well when I get mad, if I had not been in tune I would have not hesitated in getting a drink, I was mad and as a result myself alone would have decided I deserved and needed a drink to calm myself down.

BTW I have done what Carol suggested and it was a mighty fine meeting held on a picnic table outside of where the meeting should have happened.

A meeting is nothing more then 2 or more alcoholics sharing their Experience, strength and Hope with each other to where they can help each other resolve common problems.