lost84

What type of realtionships do "users have with other users if involved"? Anyone know from expierence ect how the realtionship tends to work out if both partners use drugs and are heavy drinkers?

LowBottom

THEY USUALLY DON'T "work out". But do "normal" relationships work out?

Relationships are relationships, usual someone using doesn't have the capacity to be open, honest and committed when they are drunk or loaded.

leelee5675

I sure don't have any expertise in this area but I think they probably do what they do to most of the people in their lives...they use each other.

An addict's mindset is so far removed from what I'm used to that it boggles my mind.

My AD was emotionally (and intimately) involved with her supplier at the time I told her she had to leave my home. I heard from a friend of her's a few days later that he ditched her that night. I think it was because he saw that he might have to be responsible for her in some way.

I don't know the answer to your question, but I bet there will be some people along fairly shortly that have first-hand experiences to share with you.

URMYEVERYTHING

Honestly, they have the relationship with the drug so when you ask what type of relationship do they have with each other... NONE. Addicts in active addiction have no concept of a healthy relationship. The relationships they have fuel their addiction ONLY.

truthhurts

This is my opinion from observing the "relationship" that my ex-ABF had with his GF, who was also an alcoholic/addict:

Pure chaos.

They used each other whenever necessary or lonely. They were both codie, to an extent. She would get angry when he would take off on a binge or cheat on her, so she wound up sleeping with his brother (!!!) in revenge. He found out but still took her back. She would go through his things on a regular basis, looking for proof that he was using/cheating on her. He would talk trash about her to others all the time but never was able to fully break up with her. They verbally and perhaps physically abused each other.

Really, it was pure chaos. I can't imagine being in (or staying in) a "relationship" like that. It would exhaust me.

SHAMAN

My best friend sums it up nicely:

"Two 'sickos' don't make a well-o".

Often times, relationships start based on 'feel good'. If it 'feels good', then it must be love, right? Love can not be determined until pathologies/dynamics have been exposed, however, because that's what's left when 'feel good' goes away. The relationship may have a new face, new geography, and a new feel, but history will repeat itself, pathology left unresolved, until it becomes the same old again.

There's a difference between debating whether to squeeze the toothpaste from the top or bottom in a relationship and, "WTF... you spent all the money on drugs"? Now if BOTH parties are concerned with who gets the last high... well, I'd rather argue over toilet seat up vs. toilet seat down.

Bottom line is... if nothing changes, then nothing changes. It's just the newest version of the same dysfunctional.

Many Blessings,
Shaman

daisylady

I agree with the above posts. There is NO "relationship." Most of us have no real relationships with our addicts when there is only one person who uses, let alone two drug users. I had a friend who has a heavy cocaine user and so was her fiance. They would fight ALL of the time. He would get mad at her if she used without him, spent their money and accused her of having sex with their drug dealer to get drugs (she may have). He even tried to run her over with their car once!! Needless to say, they both had to get away from each other to stop the complete chaos.. but I still think they both use from time to time even though they are apart.

teke

A total disaster