Was that a date?
peaceful seabird
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: floating
Posts: 4,822
Was that a date?
Last night. I think it was, so, eewwww
Here's the story.
I'm divorced from my RAxH. I moved 100 miles away and have my teenagers living with me. I work full time and try to get out into the community with my teens during my off time.
A client's husband came into my work place recently. I spoke with him and I mentioned his wife and something about the relationship between she and I. They were out together that day, but she was not standing with him. After my conversation with him, he tells her about our conversation. They (husband and wife) come back together to speak with me. We're talking, laughing, etc. They leave.
I had told them I was taking my children to a local high school football game. That I'm not a big fan of football, but my son enjoys football. So we go together as a family.
He comes back later. He asks if I would like to take my son to the college game this weekend. Sure! My son was hoping to go to one of the college games. He offers to get us tickets. I explained that I would need 3 tickets so that my daughter wouldn't be left at home. He offers to see what he can do. Now we need to exchange phone numbers....
I gave him my business card and explained what hours I would be available at the work number. He gave me his cell number. He asked me to call him at a set time (after business hours) and he would let us know if he was able to get the tickets.
I am thankful for my internet phone. This little device plugs into my personal computer and I can make all the calls I want without paying for a land line. Costs about $50/year. I have used it recently to call a high school class mate that located me on facebook. He is single and asked me to call him. I used my internet phone, and it turns out he was drunk. After that phone call (4 weeks ago) I have unplugged the internet phone. No problem. I usually keep the internet phone unplugged because it slows down my PC. But it sure is handy now that I am single. I don't want to give my cell # to anyone!
So I use my internet phone to call this man about college football tickets. The connection is bad from his cell phone, and I told him to call me the next day at work. He did. He was able to get tickets for us, and offers to take us out for dinner before or after the game. Whoa! Is your wife going with us? No. Does she know you are taking us to dinner and a game? Yes, don't worry, I'm not doing anything that she would worry about.
I didn't like the dinner idea, so I told him we would meet him at the stadium. We did. Introductions are made between him and my children. He gives everyone their ticket. He explains that he will buy refreshments whenever we need anything, just let him know. He explains that he arrived early and has t-shirts for each of us in our seats. ( they were given away to the first guests to arrive) We chat with some folks at the gates while we are making our way into the game. I'm thinking "gee, this is really nice. Everyone in this community has been so nice to us, I am so thankful!"
Here's your sign! Before we get through the gates, he tells me: " I hope you like your seats, they cost $XX.XX per seat."
Wow. They were top dollar seats. I excuse that and let it roll off, after all, I don't know him well enough to judge that as manipulation. (Does anyone want to hit me with the 2x4 yet?)
We get to our seats. Offers for refreshments. T-shirts sorted by size. Still a few minutes before kickoff. My mind is saying, "I think we're okay, just a friendly welcome wagon offer". Reality hits before kickoff. He leans in and whispers "Do you always look this beautiful?" I said "Only on Saturday" as we rise for kickoff.
There were a few more comments about my looks. An offer of discretion if I would like to call him in the future. A promise that he would not pursue me by phone or show up at my work. I assure him that I have security to take care of me at work. (In my head, I know he will never reach me at that home number again). I guess he finally figured out that I wasn't getting hooked, so he offers to bring my son to future games and my daughter and I don't have to come since we're not that into football. I thanked him for that offer!
So, there were 3 mentions of the price of the seats. Comments on my looks every 1/2 hour. Reminders that he was always available to me.
We left during the 3rd quarter. Part of me thinks I should have gotten up and left after the first comment in my ear. Part of me thinks that would have been over-reacting and putting my kids into the middle of my drama.
I did not tell them about the things he said. We talked about the game. About the future offer for my son to attend another game. I asked them about our new friend and my honest daughter replied that there was something a little "creepy". I agreed and left it at that. My son is quiet. I think he is weighing the future football games vs. mom and creepy married guy. Mom knows there will be no creepy married guy and my son, ever!
Now I'm going to do what really helps. I'm putting on my walking shoes, and doing a 2 mile power walk. Mentally, I will be examining my part in this and looking for the lessons.
Here's the story.
I'm divorced from my RAxH. I moved 100 miles away and have my teenagers living with me. I work full time and try to get out into the community with my teens during my off time.
A client's husband came into my work place recently. I spoke with him and I mentioned his wife and something about the relationship between she and I. They were out together that day, but she was not standing with him. After my conversation with him, he tells her about our conversation. They (husband and wife) come back together to speak with me. We're talking, laughing, etc. They leave.
I had told them I was taking my children to a local high school football game. That I'm not a big fan of football, but my son enjoys football. So we go together as a family.
He comes back later. He asks if I would like to take my son to the college game this weekend. Sure! My son was hoping to go to one of the college games. He offers to get us tickets. I explained that I would need 3 tickets so that my daughter wouldn't be left at home. He offers to see what he can do. Now we need to exchange phone numbers....
I gave him my business card and explained what hours I would be available at the work number. He gave me his cell number. He asked me to call him at a set time (after business hours) and he would let us know if he was able to get the tickets.
I am thankful for my internet phone. This little device plugs into my personal computer and I can make all the calls I want without paying for a land line. Costs about $50/year. I have used it recently to call a high school class mate that located me on facebook. He is single and asked me to call him. I used my internet phone, and it turns out he was drunk. After that phone call (4 weeks ago) I have unplugged the internet phone. No problem. I usually keep the internet phone unplugged because it slows down my PC. But it sure is handy now that I am single. I don't want to give my cell # to anyone!
So I use my internet phone to call this man about college football tickets. The connection is bad from his cell phone, and I told him to call me the next day at work. He did. He was able to get tickets for us, and offers to take us out for dinner before or after the game. Whoa! Is your wife going with us? No. Does she know you are taking us to dinner and a game? Yes, don't worry, I'm not doing anything that she would worry about.
I didn't like the dinner idea, so I told him we would meet him at the stadium. We did. Introductions are made between him and my children. He gives everyone their ticket. He explains that he will buy refreshments whenever we need anything, just let him know. He explains that he arrived early and has t-shirts for each of us in our seats. ( they were given away to the first guests to arrive) We chat with some folks at the gates while we are making our way into the game. I'm thinking "gee, this is really nice. Everyone in this community has been so nice to us, I am so thankful!"
Here's your sign! Before we get through the gates, he tells me: " I hope you like your seats, they cost $XX.XX per seat."
Wow. They were top dollar seats. I excuse that and let it roll off, after all, I don't know him well enough to judge that as manipulation. (Does anyone want to hit me with the 2x4 yet?)
We get to our seats. Offers for refreshments. T-shirts sorted by size. Still a few minutes before kickoff. My mind is saying, "I think we're okay, just a friendly welcome wagon offer". Reality hits before kickoff. He leans in and whispers "Do you always look this beautiful?" I said "Only on Saturday" as we rise for kickoff.
There were a few more comments about my looks. An offer of discretion if I would like to call him in the future. A promise that he would not pursue me by phone or show up at my work. I assure him that I have security to take care of me at work. (In my head, I know he will never reach me at that home number again). I guess he finally figured out that I wasn't getting hooked, so he offers to bring my son to future games and my daughter and I don't have to come since we're not that into football. I thanked him for that offer!
So, there were 3 mentions of the price of the seats. Comments on my looks every 1/2 hour. Reminders that he was always available to me.
We left during the 3rd quarter. Part of me thinks I should have gotten up and left after the first comment in my ear. Part of me thinks that would have been over-reacting and putting my kids into the middle of my drama.
I did not tell them about the things he said. We talked about the game. About the future offer for my son to attend another game. I asked them about our new friend and my honest daughter replied that there was something a little "creepy". I agreed and left it at that. My son is quiet. I think he is weighing the future football games vs. mom and creepy married guy. Mom knows there will be no creepy married guy and my son, ever!
Now I'm going to do what really helps. I'm putting on my walking shoes, and doing a 2 mile power walk. Mentally, I will be examining my part in this and looking for the lessons.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Starting over all over again
Posts: 4,426
Wow Pelican, I'm so sorry you had to go thru that. I'm really glad you saw all the red flags and that you left during the third quarter. You took care of you and your kids by getting away from that creep. And you're doing a great job of taking care of your privacy with that internet phone.
I think you did great, you handled it all very well and you're _not_ falling for all the BS.
Mike
I think you did great, you handled it all very well and you're _not_ falling for all the BS.
Mike
peaceful seabird
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: floating
Posts: 4,822
Originally Posted by anvilhead 
ew, pelican, i bet you hopped straight in the shower when you got home!??
how much were those seats again? LMAO
how much were those seats again? LMAO
Ding, Ding, Ding, We have a winner! I certainly did get into the shower as soon as I walked in the door! We had sweated in our $XX.XX seats before the sun went down, but I was feeling icky for reasons beyond perspiration.
peaceful seabird
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: floating
Posts: 4,822
Thanks for helping me to laugh and not take this too seriously. I was feeling guilty for not being more careful and not leaving sooner.
It feels better to laugh about the event than to obsess about the event. Lesson learned.
Next time I hear the southern drawl of how purty i is, I'll listen for the bango music in the background and run!
It feels better to laugh about the event than to obsess about the event. Lesson learned.
Next time I hear the southern drawl of how purty i is, I'll listen for the bango music in the background and run!
A jug fills drop by drop
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
what is wrong with that man? I say don't let him take your kids anywhere even if its not with you!you handled it very well
For what its worth I also got the c'mons from MY EX'S BEST FRIENDS yes 2 of them....... sheeesh, I mean, we are beautiful, intelligent, graceful, etc etc but its not our fault we are so attractive LOL
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Wizard Land Downunder
Posts: 2,615
Well done pelican, but wow what a shock for you at being put in that position. Oh well, your son got to see most of the game and you let mr creepy (he doesn't deserve upper case) know that you weren't just a beautiful body, but have a beautiful integrity too.
Wise mother, and it seems wise daughter who was spot on with the "creepy" name.
God bless
Wise mother, and it seems wise daughter who was spot on with the "creepy" name.
God bless
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