Keeping family safe!!!!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 3
Keeping family safe!!!!
I am new to this site and am finding it very helpful. I am a daughter of an AM and have been dealing with the chaos for the past four years.
My main question that I keep wondering is how do we keep others safe from the alcoholic. Specifically speaking, if they want to drive. My family is trying to keep certain rules in our family setting, yet my mother is having an extremely hard time abiding by them. And to makes matters worse, she has a tendency to drive while under the influence or leave for days on ends to binge drink.
My family has lots of support from others, including recoving addicts in our family, but her actions have stund us all. You wonder what it will take for them to realize that they have hit rock bottom. Almost drinking herself to death...still does not seem like rock bottom for her sadly!
Needing advice!!
Thanks ~
My main question that I keep wondering is how do we keep others safe from the alcoholic. Specifically speaking, if they want to drive. My family is trying to keep certain rules in our family setting, yet my mother is having an extremely hard time abiding by them. And to makes matters worse, she has a tendency to drive while under the influence or leave for days on ends to binge drink.
My family has lots of support from others, including recoving addicts in our family, but her actions have stund us all. You wonder what it will take for them to realize that they have hit rock bottom. Almost drinking herself to death...still does not seem like rock bottom for her sadly!
Needing advice!!
Thanks ~
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Stumbling toward happiness
Posts: 4,706
Pretzel, have you considered calling her in to the police when she drives drunk? Opinions on this differ, but it appears she has not yet had to suffer the repercussions of her actions, and continues to endanger others.
It is not that she 'doesn't realize she's hit rock bottom."
It is that she has not yet hit it. Some take a long time, and some never do -- it's the horrible thing about dealing with this disorder in our loved ones.
In one point of view, what she does with her life is her business - you didn't cause it, can't control it, can't cure it - and you should detach yourself from an alcoholic as much as you can. But in another point of view, if you see or know she's driving drunk, well, many feel obligated to protect other citizens by having the police pick her up. It is your choice --- I wish you luck, strength, and wisdom to know what's right for your life
It is not that she 'doesn't realize she's hit rock bottom."
It is that she has not yet hit it. Some take a long time, and some never do -- it's the horrible thing about dealing with this disorder in our loved ones.
In one point of view, what she does with her life is her business - you didn't cause it, can't control it, can't cure it - and you should detach yourself from an alcoholic as much as you can. But in another point of view, if you see or know she's driving drunk, well, many feel obligated to protect other citizens by having the police pick her up. It is your choice --- I wish you luck, strength, and wisdom to know what's right for your life
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 3
GiveLove
Thanks! It has been a very crazy road. She finally did receive her first DWI about a week ago and has an upcoming court date. I know that once she goes to court, they will be taking her keys away for about a month. Until that court date, we told her that she also could not drive the car.
Althought she is giving us hell for that one, we are sticking to it and telling her that her actions do cost consequences!!! Just as they would for anyone, regardless of age!!!
We have actually filed numerous missing person reports on her when she goes out on her drinking binges and report to the police that she is more than likely drinking. There have also been numerous times when I have stood in front of the door with other siblings, not allowing her to leave, when we have that "hunch" of knowing she might be under the influence!!
We do try to protect others, because of her stupidity and lack of good judgment.
As in regards to her hitting rock bottom, she was recently in an accident with a tree and street sign!! Which ended her butt in the hospital, with a DWI. She has been in rehab countless times and has also been to a women's shelter twice. When she was at the hospital after her accident, her BAC was .52!! So it is like one questions how low is low. She should of been dead with her BAC that high...yet she isn't due to her tolerance. Its a crazy circle!!!
Thanks for your advice, I appreciate it more than you know!!! :ghug3
Thanks! It has been a very crazy road. She finally did receive her first DWI about a week ago and has an upcoming court date. I know that once she goes to court, they will be taking her keys away for about a month. Until that court date, we told her that she also could not drive the car.
Althought she is giving us hell for that one, we are sticking to it and telling her that her actions do cost consequences!!! Just as they would for anyone, regardless of age!!!
We have actually filed numerous missing person reports on her when she goes out on her drinking binges and report to the police that she is more than likely drinking. There have also been numerous times when I have stood in front of the door with other siblings, not allowing her to leave, when we have that "hunch" of knowing she might be under the influence!!
We do try to protect others, because of her stupidity and lack of good judgment.
As in regards to her hitting rock bottom, she was recently in an accident with a tree and street sign!! Which ended her butt in the hospital, with a DWI. She has been in rehab countless times and has also been to a women's shelter twice. When she was at the hospital after her accident, her BAC was .52!! So it is like one questions how low is low. She should of been dead with her BAC that high...yet she isn't due to her tolerance. Its a crazy circle!!!
Thanks for your advice, I appreciate it more than you know!!! :ghug3
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Georgia (the state, not the country!)
Posts: 108
Hi Pretzel, and welcome.
I agree with what GiveLove says. Of course you want to protect them too but obviously you want to protect others in that situation.
I'm sorry to hear about your mom's DWI but who knows, maybe it will help her. If nothing else at least she has to suffer the consequences of her actions. My AF got a DWI when I was in college, and was driving drunk again even before he got his license back! So when you're dealing with addiction, there is no sanity. (These days he does his drinking at home, however, now that he lives alone.)
That's a scary thing to deal with. Keeping you in my thoughts, and please come back and post often. Hugs to you.
I agree with what GiveLove says. Of course you want to protect them too but obviously you want to protect others in that situation.
I'm sorry to hear about your mom's DWI but who knows, maybe it will help her. If nothing else at least she has to suffer the consequences of her actions. My AF got a DWI when I was in college, and was driving drunk again even before he got his license back! So when you're dealing with addiction, there is no sanity. (These days he does his drinking at home, however, now that he lives alone.)
That's a scary thing to deal with. Keeping you in my thoughts, and please come back and post often. Hugs to you.
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