I dont know how to help him and this is killing me...

Old 08-29-2009, 05:11 PM
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I dont know how to help him and this is killing me...

Hello everyone

My story might seem a bit strange to most of you, as not everyone has experienced online romance.. but I’m one of the unlucky girls who fell inlove with someone met over the internet.. for those who think this is absurd, please have a bit of understanding as I used to laugh too at people having depressions over people they had never met in real life.

We met in an online game 2 years ago, when I had a boyfriend already. We became friends quickly, and I felt a weird attraction towards him since the very beginning. After 1 year my relationship started to go south and I slowly started to fall for this guy I met online, let’s call him X (don’t want to give any names). He was so much different than the other people I had met online, he was respectful with girls and so sweet and kind, helping everyone. Also felt kindof mysterious all the time, and I think that made me feel even more attracted to him. I knew he had problems with girls he met online before, so I haven’t tried anything, but I did let him know I had a “crush” (at that time heh) on him, but I was still glued to my boyfriend (now ex, but that’s another story) so I just told him that maybe if I tell him it will go away.. silly way of thinking but the bad part is that instead of fading away my feelings became stronger and stronger, really scary.

Only few days after we became “close friends” and we started chatting on MSN *after I told him about my c”crush”), one night I tried to talk to him but all I got was senseless words, he couldn’t type anything correctly and I thought he was just really really drunk. The morning after I talked to him and he said he was feeling very ill because of his medication he said he was taking, Oxycontin. He said it’s a very strong painkiller. Later on I found out he had some bad pain because of some surgery he had.. Made me really sad, such a nice person having such bad health issues.

In only few weeks he became centre of my whole world, I lived and breathed for him, still playing online games with him, but we were only close friends and nothing more. My night became daytime (11 hours or so timezone difference), I skipped meals while he was playing at night so I could spend time with him. But one thing that is still giving me nightmares is that sometimes he would act really strange, falling asleep, talking nonsense or saying hes feeling very sick. I knew he was smoking weed sometimes but weed shouldn’t make people behave like that. He always blamed his medication and I remember once I almost tried to call an ambulance for him cause he couldn’t see anymore.. and I live on the other side of the world.

This only lasted few months, as I don’t see this happening a lot anymore, but for few months he was doing this a lot and it was very scary, and I felt so useless because all I could do was watching him acting weird on MSN..

I had to quit games for a while so all I talked to him was about once in a week on MSN, regular stuff as “how are you?”, nothing much. I had some really bad exams coming so I decided to totally take a break from internet as all I had in my head were my short conversations with him and watching MSN all the time to see when he’s answering to my messages. Few days after I decided to take this break I accidentally found him on google posting on a drugs-related forum. I was looking for one of the names he usually uses in games to find something else, but I ran into this. For a second I thought maybe its not him but I knew about all the weed so curiosity pushed me to look through his posts.

That was probably my last day of peaceful mind, as what I saw there blew me away. I found out he’s an addict, now using Oxycontin, taking it from his doctor as medicine. As he said there, he started with heroin over 15 years ago, and now he’s been uising oxy for 10 years, sometimes mixes them with benzoates and weed. I was totally devastated, as I knew for sure 100% it was him. More awful things came from that forum but I wont get into this, it’s tearing up my mind only when I think of it. I blindly fell inlove with a drug addict that is not able to have any feelings when hes not on opiates. He admitted himself and I feel like I fell for someone who doesn’t exist at all. I know how dangerous oxy addiction is and I fear for him every day.

Now I can tell when he’s sober and it’s like 2 people in one body. Totally different, and without a heart. His mood also swings a lot, so he confuses me, going from all lovely to pushing me away violently and making me cry. Few months ago he wanted us to break contact as he has big emotional issues when it comes to girls, and he knew about my feelings. We became close lately at that time and something triggered suddenly and he blocked my MSN and chased me away from the game we played

I was completely wrecked, stayed in bed for a week, didn’t eat or sleep, cried all the time as he said it is better for both of us not to talk anymore. One month later he unblocked me
and said he doesn’t want to lose me as a friend and I accepted to be around him only as a friend. At that time I didn’t know about his drugs problems, but he brought up stuff from his past he didn’t want to talk about when he said why he acts like this when he starts to get feelings for a girl, so he automatically blocks those feeings without realizing. In other words, he is not able to feel love at all

I don’t know what to do now, I’m still in contact with him but I never told him I know about that forum and I dont dare making him talk about this, as he has some really bad reactions and I’m afraid ill push him away even further. But at the same time I feel like I’m not doing anything for him, even though I don’t know if I can help him in any way. He’s very stubborn he wouldn’t even listen to me if I talked to him about rehab. I cant do anything from here and I’m afraid if I fly to him things will go awfully wrong. I don’t have the money either, maybe if I had I’d be insane enough to visit him and see whats there to do. But I cant do absolutely anything from MSN and games… I love him more than life, its killing me knowing he’s destroying himself and I cant even talk to him about it and tell him Im here to talk to him about this at any time. He will think im stalking him if I said I found that forum, I don’t know how to bring it up. I know he would feel miserable if he knew I saw all those things, and I don’t want this to happen.

I want so bad to have a relationship with him, I want to fly to him and move there but as soon as reality strikes and I remember he’s addicted and he doesn’t even have a job an cant get one, and all his issues, I get cold chills and I realize it would be impossible anyway. If he goes to rehab he wont be the person I fell inlove with, as that person only exists on opiates. Rest of the time he’s grumpy and sarcastic, heartless… I would like to know experiences from others, how them or loved ones acted while on drugs/sober

I still want to go to his country and try to at least be his friend and do something, but I really don’t know and I don’t know if its worth. I cry almost every night thinking of this and cant find a realist solution to it.

I promised to him and to myself that I’ll never let him down no matter what happens, as a friend or whatever he wants me to be to him, I know he needs me even if he never says it. He doesn’t have a lot of people he can talk to openly as he does to me sometimes and I feel like his real life friends are addicts too most of them.

I cant take this anymore and I don’t know what to do for him. I’m dying slowly on the inside and cant tell anything to anyone.. told some close friends and they said I’m insane for even talking to him, but I know hes a good person, he just had an awful past..

I’m sorry if my post jumped from one thing to another, I’m pretty tired and it’s hard for me to type these things, I don’t even know what I said and what more I wanted to say… please have understanding, even if it’s all an online thing, my feelings for him are real and theyre draining the life out of me. I don’t know what to do anymore…

Thank you for reading, replies would be very much appreciated
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Old 08-29-2009, 05:48 PM
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Behind the keyboard... he can be anybody he wants to be... in real life he could be your worst nightmare. Please be careful!

If this online relationship is draining you and causing you so much grief and heartache... can you possibly imagine how much worse it would be if you fly to be with him? You cannot change him... only he can change himself.

Remember the 3 C's of addiction:
You didn't Cause it
You can't Control it
You can't Cure it

Honey, please ready all the sticky posts at the top of this forum. Learn all you can about addiction so you know what you are dealing with. Keep reading and posting. There is so much good knowledge, support and encouragment to be found here.

(((HUGS)))) Sorry you are hurting so much but glad you're here!
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Old 08-29-2009, 06:45 PM
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Welcome to the forum ... and please know that the following is not meant to sound harsh, but rather it is the hard, cold truth.

All the love in the world will not cure his addiction. You can't save him. Until he wants to get clean ON HIS own HE WON'T.

If you fly to be with him, then you'll find yourself out of your realm and at the mercy of his addiction and addiction has no mercy.

Already you have stayed up late to be online with him, lost sleep, didn't eat, you have cried your eyes out, felt sick, stayed in bed over a week and in your own words he became the center of your world .. You lived and breathed him. This behavior is not healthy ... YOU ARE ADDICTED TO THIS MAN. Like he is addicted to his drugs.

Don't take this personal, but you are no competition for his addiction. It will win every time and if you continue to pursue a relationship with him you are only setting yourself up for pain, pain and more pain.

If you think you hurt now .. You ain't seen nothing yet.

As hard as it may be, as much as it may hurt .. You need to let go of him and let God. Time to jump ship and save yourself.

Consider yourself blessed that you found out about his addiction by accident (a divine accident if you ask me).

I would like to encourage you to read all you can about enabling, codependency, detaching with love. Knowledge is power and the key to freedom.

I hope to see more of you here on SR ... I'm sorry you have to be here, but glad you've found your way. Welcome to the family.

Hugs,
Passion
Recovering Addict
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Old 08-29-2009, 06:45 PM
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Originally Posted by damnedone View Post
I still want to go to his country and
Among the myriad of screaming red flags in your post, this was the scariest to me.

Ever heard of human trafficking?

You only know a cyber version of this person. What information do you have to corroborate ANYTHING he says? What real life, face-to-face third parties that you know and trust also can vouch for him as a person?

There is a very real underworld that ensnares women into slavery using such tactics as reeling them into online "love" relationships, then luring them into foreign countries where they know nobody, can have their passports stolen, and can lose all human rights to their captors.

Don't mess around. Be honest with yourself how much you REALLY "know" this guy.

The BEST case scenario is that he's been completely honest, which means he's a dysfunctional addict with no job.

And.... you want to give your soul to this guy.... why???? Because his cyber-persona hooked you in?

It's time to do some real honest searching why you would get so enmeshed in such a scenario. That's where you need to start...

I don't mean to sound harsh, but I felt compelled to say these things. Your safety is at stake, and your mental health is already deteriorating per your own admission.

Sending encouragement,

CLMI
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Old 08-29-2009, 07:43 PM
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Oh yes, internet love! Would you believe that was the one that sent me to my codependent bottom?

The only difference is my internet love moved in with me (drove all the way up from Florida in one fell swoop) after a whirlwind romance via the internet and a lot of phone calls.

He slapped an engagement ring on my finger, and I kept thinking "Damn, this is almost too good to be true!"

It was. After my savings account was cleaned out (some legal woes of his mysteriously started popping up and I was paying all the bills), after I had taken care of his two daughters for a month when they came to visit, after I had once again completely and 100% lost myself in a relationship, he walked out the door, never to be seen again.

Then all the letters from debt collectors started rolling in, all for matters I had no idea were in his past.

Be careful. Be very very careful.

Today I can look back on that and be grateful for that because I did start my recovery from codependency.

However, it does give me the chills to think how naive I was about trusting someone on the internet. How about the Craigslist killer?

What's your life worth to you?
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Old 08-29-2009, 10:39 PM
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I understand your falling in love in "letters". People in the 19th century did it all the time.

You are doing the right thing, D. (I can't bear to use your screen name. So little hope in it). You are doing right by not flying to be with him, not tracking down more information about his drug abuse, not trying to contact his family or friends. You are doing well in that regard. Hold strong.

That you stumbled upon this information (if it is accurate) about him would seem to be divine intervention, don't you think? God really does speak directly to us sometimes.

The only thing I can recommend you do for now is pray to God--however you see God--for protection, strength, healing for both you and for him (if he is indeed a real man with the story he presents thus far). You sound very broken, and in my experience, only God can help us recover and glue all our pieces back together.

If you decide to break contact with the man altogether, I just want to remind you that it will not be the great loss to him you might imagine, for the center of his world is oxycontin and/or heroin. For now it is giving him everything he wants.

Post here anytime you need. Welcome.

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Old 08-29-2009, 11:25 PM
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Please, my dear, take a DEEP BREATH here!!!!

This is not real life. These are games. Cruel games played by someone a world away from you. He has nothing to offer you. You must detach. You need help. Please consider some therapy. You could really use a break from this whole thing. Can you refrain from this contact for a while to get some perspective?

Love,
KJ
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Old 08-30-2009, 05:14 AM
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Thank you all so much for your replies, I've been thinking alot before posting, I was afraid no one would understand me because it's all online stuff, but I'm happy I could get some support

Alot of the things said here run through my mind every day, I am fully aware of what is goin on and how wrong it is, but there are times when I really feel like I should fly to him and be with him.. but ofcourse that would lead to disaster.

And about the trusting issue.. probably one of the things that made me get so cloe to him, he seemed to be so honest and open to me, unlike others. He has told me things that I'm pretty sure others wouldnt dare telling. What is really weird about me, I never reacted to things like for example when he told me he has been in jail... most of them I know they are not made up, they were on that forum I found, and he had no reason to make up same thing there, only that I found some shocking extra details I didnt want to know.

At that time, my biggest wish was that someone erased my memory, i just wanted to forget what i saw there, but later on I realised that I would of never understood why he's acting so weird if I didnt know. I havent checked forums since then, but I think I'll gather some strenght soon and re-read those posts and then come back here and read things related, maybe it will make it easier to find a solution. One thing I do remember from last year, while he was really high and couldnt make sense, he said several times "can't function without".. now I understand what he meant

I've tried to stay away from him before, it just seems impossible and makes me feel dead on the inside.. he's one of the few people that can make me smile.. or well could, as lately he has been acting awful towards me, I guess he's trying to kill my feelings too. I dont know if he really doesnt want to hurt me if my feelings go deeper (thought I dont know how much deeper they could go) or it's just him. I've made the huge mistake of asking him if he thinks we could ever become more than friends, which scared him really bad. He confused me and I've lost control.

I know you're probably wondering what was in my head when I asked that, knowing all those things about him, but most of the time when I'm with him I forget COMPLETLY about his issues, it's like I have no more control over my thoughts and reactions. Quite scary, I feel like I'm losing my mind, though most of the time all i can think is "oh god he's stoned again". Stoned and on oxy, but he only tells about being stoned, and I can tell from the way he's acting and typing.

He's killing me when I'm talking to him and he keeps being confused over really simple things, he can't focus on anything, I feel like talking to a wall and then he screams at me like it's my fault. But I guess these things are normal..

Right now, I'm trying to spend as little time with him as possible, which is not very hard, usually he's sleeping when I'm awake (if he sleeps... looks like oxy makes him stay awake for days sometimes) and maybe this will start fading away.

I'm sorry for huge posts with useless details, I just dont know what and who to tell anymore, I'm feeling so alone and I feel like no one is understanding what i'm goin through.. and worse of all, i dont know how I'm goin to put an end to it without having to break contact with him forever, because that is the last thing I want to do..

Thank you all once again, I guess I'll read more of this forum, I've read alot about oxy and opiates after I found out about him, but I still dont know how to deal with it.. I hope I'll find the best way soon

*hugs everyone*
~D
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Old 08-30-2009, 05:50 AM
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See if you can't get your hands on a couple of books, "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie, and "Women Who Love Too Much" by Robin Norwood.

I would also encourage you to look for Alanon meetings in your area for face-to-face support with this.

A counselor who specializes in addictions/alcoholism could also be a huge help in you sorting out why you are so enmeshed with this fellow.
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Old 08-30-2009, 10:43 AM
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This post really opened my eyes to what I was dealing with when I first found this forum. Read all the sticky posts at the top of this forum. The more you know the more strength you will get.

What Addicts Do
This post has been reposted so many times that I thought I would sticky it here at the top. Jon posted this some time ago, in response to the many questions of "why" that were asked by those who love an addict. I thank Jon for sharing this so honestly and hope it will help others understand what addicts do. - Ann



What Addicts Do

My name's Jon. I'm an addict. And this is what addicts do. You cannot nor will not change my behavior. You cannot make me treat you better, let alone with any respect. All I care about, all I think about, is my needs and how to go about fufilling them. You are a tool to me, something to use. When I say I love you I am lying through my teeth, because love is impossible for someone in active addiction. I wouldn't be using if I loved myself, and since I don't, I cannot love you.

My feelings are so pushed down and numbed by my drugs that I could be considered sociopathic. I have no empathy for you or anyone else. It doesn't faze me that I hurt you, leave you hungry, lie to you, cheat on you and steal from you.

My behavior cannot and will not change until i make a decison to stop using/drinking and then follow it up with a plan of action.

And until I make that decsion, I will hurt you again and again and again.

Stop being surprised.

I am an addict. And that's what addicts do.
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-jon
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Old 08-30-2009, 10:56 AM
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Originally Posted by rayofsunshine View Post
This post really opened my eyes to what I was dealing with when I first found this forum. Read all the sticky posts at the top of this forum. The more you know the more strength you will get.

What Addicts Do
This post has been reposted so many times that I thought I would sticky it here at the top. Jon posted this some time ago, in response to the many questions of "why" that were asked by those who love an addict. I thank Jon for sharing this so honestly and hope it will help others understand what addicts do. - Ann



What Addicts Do

My name's Jon. I'm an addict. And this is what addicts do. You cannot nor will not change my behavior. You cannot make me treat you better, let alone with any respect. All I care about, all I think about, is my needs and how to go about fufilling them. You are a tool to me, something to use. When I say I love you I am lying through my teeth, because love is impossible for someone in active addiction. I wouldn't be using if I loved myself, and since I don't, I cannot love you.

My feelings are so pushed down and numbed by my drugs that I could be considered sociopathic. I have no empathy for you or anyone else. It doesn't faze me that I hurt you, leave you hungry, lie to you, cheat on you and steal from you.

My behavior cannot and will not change until i make a decison to stop using/drinking and then follow it up with a plan of action.

And until I make that decsion, I will hurt you again and again and again.

Stop being surprised.

I am an addict. And that's what addicts do.
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wow reading this made my heart break into million pieces, I'm crying now because I know exactly that's how he is, and I remember all the moments when I was shocked with his ignorance when he hurt me, like I didnt even exist, even though he used to say he loves me (as a friend, but still that means you have to care for your "friend")

All the sleepless nights to stay with him so he wasnt alone, and the skipped meals just because he wanted to play online games, all days when I skipped school cause he was feeling "ill", I never saw a "thank you" or a "sorry" from him, in 2 years.

Funny thing.. if I can call it funny is that I fell for him precisely because I felt that he had a heart and I thought a discovered a special person, sweet and kind, but later I couldnt find that person anymore. I'm sure if he didnt have those issues he would be as the person I thought he was, but I offered all my love to someone who doesnt exist. Exactly and addict. And all he cares about is himself.

I'll find some time later tonight to read all the sticky posts here and go again through his posts on the other forums, even though this only breaks my heart more. I'm trying to detach slowly, but it's too hard.. I pray I get the strenght to do it once and for all.
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Old 08-30-2009, 12:05 PM
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Sweetie, I know this is hard and your feelings are very valid, but there comes a time to snap out of it.

Take yourself on a nice walk, go to the library and find a couple of good books, join a group that shares a hobby you enjoy, do anything except sit on that computer fantasizing of how it "could have been" because obessing is something we codies do well and there comes a time to distract ourselves and move on.

Sitting crying all day will just make you sicker. Finding an Al-anon or Nar-anon or CoDA meeting near you may just be the ticket for letting go of obsessing about him and beginning to use that energy to take care of yourself.

You are not the first one to be disappointed in an internet relationship, they rarely end up being what they appear and can actually be very dangerous.

So brush yourself off, wash your face and get yourself out to do something positive for you today, okay?

I say this all with love in my heart, because it's just no fun having a broken heart. But it will get better if you take a few steps forward.

Hugs
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Old 08-30-2009, 05:16 PM
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Wow, I never thought a forum could help so much, I am already trying to detatch myself from this hell, it's so horribly hard but I think this time I'm goin to make it. Maybe I really am in the right, place, I have become a recovering addict myself, just that I've been addicted to an addict, oh the irony.

I tried today to avoid talking to him as much as I could, and I'm goin to do this for a while now, but I still want to try and make this to the end without having to break contact with him. I want to be his friend, I promissed to him and to myself that I'll always be there for him as a friend, and even if it doesnt matter alot to him, I'd be heartless and hate myself if I just sent him to hell. He might have some issues but he's a human being too. I'll just give time to myself to put my feelings and thoughts in order.

What scares me the most, it's not first time when I've been thinking like that after a whole day of trying to convince myself that I was doing the right thing, but as insane as it sounds, when I wake up in the morning my feelings are fully back, stronger than ever, and I end up clinging on him againwhile he hurts me over and over again and then acts like the only one guilty is me. Maybe tomorrow wont be the same...

As I said, even though maybe it sounds silly to some of you, I feel like a recovering addict myself. I'm feeling empty and I'm craving for those butterflies in my stomach everytime I saw him loggin in or randomly saying hi, or only seeing his name on my screen.. something is missing, a part of me is fading away but I know this is the right thing to do and I know that I wont be missing all the pain he has caused me.

And a thing I want to clarify, why I'm always stuck here at computer, well my health issues dont allow me to go out alot, this will only happen when I start university, that will be in 1 month and then I will try to stay far from computer as much as I can. I do admit, I'm a codependent, I just found out today, and I will surely read more about it and how to deal with it. I wasnt like this before, I dont have anyone in my family with alcohol/drugs issues, I guess it all came from this guy.. sadly.. I had changed so much and I'm not happy with it

Thank you all again, I'll still come here and update about how things are goin on, wish me goodluck and pray I have enough strenght to not give in to my feelings, like I've been doing the last ~1 year.

3 a.m. again and I'm sleepless, zombie-ing on internet, I guess I'll have to try and go back to a normal sleeping schedule soon too.. at least tonight I dont feel like crying over him anymore and I hope those nights are over.

*big hug*
~D.
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Old 08-30-2009, 05:57 PM
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D, Glad you are feeling a little better. Each time you feel weak, come here and read.
It really will help you get stronger the more you learn about addiction and co-dependency.

Don't feel bad about being co-dependent. Addiction sucks you in. We do what any compassionate person would do to help another person. Only when you help an addict
it usually just enables them to continue using comfortably. So we keep helping, they keep using/abusing us... the cycle repeats. Kinda like a roller coaster ride.

Concentrate on going to university and getting your thoughts healthy. You deserve a life full of serenity, peace and joy! Consider this a learning experience. Keep posting!
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Old 08-30-2009, 06:08 PM
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Change your settings so that you cannot see when he is logging on. That will help immensely.

KJ
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Old 08-31-2009, 03:56 PM
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I say read up on internet love and the dangers of having a romance online and not even meeting the person yet. I won't harp on what others have said but I agree with all of them 100%. You must protect yourself at any cost. Even posting on here can have it's risks. Online is a way for people to be and express themselves in ways they no otherwise can. Just like I'm able to come here and speak freely about my BF's addictions... is something I can't do with my family, coworkers, etc. I am living and seeking support behind this screen. It's the similar situation with you. He could be manipulating you to send him money eventually to fuel his addiction. Who knows? All I know is that it isn't and doesn't sound safe to me. If anything, we are here to inform you of the dangers. I haven't met anyone on here that has steered me in the wrong direction yet. Hope this helps. There is so much better out there that is tangible and someone you are able to see, touch and feel. Best of luck to you and many hugs.
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Old 08-31-2009, 04:44 PM
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Originally Posted by rayofsunshine View Post

Behind the keyboard... he can be anybody he wants to be... in real life he could be your worst nightmare. Please be careful!
He might live down the block from you.

He might be 67 year's old or 11.

He might be incarerated.

He might be a she.
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Old 09-01-2009, 01:09 AM
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Posts: 63
Originally Posted by outtolunch View Post
He might live down the block from you.

He might be 67 year's old or 11.

He might be incarerated.

He might be a she.
this was quite funny even though I dont feel like laughing right now, heh. what you say is true, but he flew to met another girl he met online long ago, and she posted pictures of them together, it's same guy in the pic he sent to me. sadly, not even one of the above, it would make things alot easier.

Yesterday I battled myself all day, I tried to make myself understand that this is goin wrong and I have to detach myself from him. It was goin pretty well, even though I spent some time with him in game, acting all normal.

The following, I would have to write a post the size of a novel again to make sense, but I'll just say that I just found out yesterday that his mind is making up things. All the pain he's been causing me was happening because of some conversations we've never had. Is this even normal even if he's an addict? Or he has some mental problems? that would be new.

I sent him a very harsh email and even though I felt horribly hurt yesterday after he called me a "liar" and told me to go "f*** off" after I said we never talked about anything before he started all the weirdness, right now I feel like I've detached from him even more.. one thing is sure, I will never be able to look at him like I used to, he destroyed everything, including what was left of our friendship

I'll just stay offline for a couple of days and then try to avoid him as much as I can. Weird thing, I cant wait for university to start so I'll spend alot less time at computer.

I do know about the dangers of online stuff, I do know that I'm exposed if I read here, though I doubt he would check these forums. At least I didnt post on the one where I found him posting, that would be suicide.

Thank you all again for your support, I guess the last few days I didnt see only from here how bad it can go but saw it with my own eyes.

D.
damnedone is offline  
Old 09-01-2009, 04:34 AM
  # 19 (permalink)  
learning to live for me
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: East Coast, US
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Originally Posted by damnedone View Post
... I'll always be there for him as a friend, and even if it doesnt matter alot to him, I'd be heartless and hate myself if I just sent him to hell.
~D.
The thing is, sometimes as codies we can get "cocky" in thinking that the lack of our presence would send someone to hell. I've discovered that people can live without me, and when wrapped up in addiction, often never notice I am gone. They may say differently, but they don't miss us. They miss anything we did to enable them, and since it doesn't sound like you've enabled your friend too much through the internet, when he tells you to f*ck off I would take his word for it. You won't send HIM to hell...you'll get yourself OUT.

Also...do you just talk to him online or have you video-chatted with him? Social networking sites such as facebook can allow people to save a variety of photos of a person to create a false identity....but if you've seen him online its pretty safe to say he atleast looks like who he says he is. Just wondering.
I hope you have a great day today and keep us updated.
-H
breakingfree88 is offline  
Old 09-01-2009, 04:46 AM
  # 20 (permalink)  
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hes got to want to come off on is own. u cant do it for him. if u try to push he will push u away. nothing can come between a person and drugs. i know from experience. i pushed my boyfriend away but he wanted me anyway so he let me do my thing. i eventually came off bymyself. i was scared he wouldnt want me when i wasnt high but he does. the person he knew was always high 24/7 and it scared me. just hang in there. hes got to be the one to come off.....
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