Bohn05

I went away on vacation with my son last week without the fiancee came home feeling pretty good. Fiancee was very nice on phone while I was away no drama. However here we go again. Was suppose to meet him halfway again however my dog ended up sick and had to take her to the vet--she had a fever and double ear infection so I decided to stay home and just let her rest and not drag her around and told him to either come to my house or I could meet him tomorrow. Well he ended up driving halfway up between us and getting drunk and now I am being slammed again. He said he may be a drunk but I am screwed up. Wants to never see me again--I am not the girl for him etc. I said I thought I was being responsible and taking care of my dog--did he want someone that just let their dog suffer and not take care of them? He could have just as easy came down to my house as driving back to his mothers in Baltimore--same distance? I knew when I did this I would get in trouble--I actually debated not taking my dog as I knew I would be in trouble if I could not meet him and low and behold I was right. My birthday was also on Wednesday and no card, no nothing. Well after I reminded him he did sing Happy Birthday!!! LOL
Also now wants me to move to Baltimore and find a job there to be with him???
I do not know--maybe subconscienciously I do find reasons not to meet him??

sandrawg

I don't blame you for subconsciously not wanting to meet him, given the way he treats you. Is this honestly what you feel you want and deserve? Someone who drinks and verbally hounds you, then doesn't even remember your birthday?

Bernadette

however my dog ended up sick and had to take her to the vet--she had a fever and double ear infection so I decided to stay home and just let her rest and not drag her around and told him to either come to my house or I could meet him tomorrow.

In my experience with rational loving people the response to this would have been something like-
"Oh, poor Fifi, yeah I'll come right over and help you nurse her. Do you need anything?"
or
"Oh, wow, I understand, what time should we get together tomorrow? If Fifi is OK do you want to meet at 1:00? Let's talk in the morning and see if Fifi is OK."

What you got instead was the kind of response I get when I have dealt with irrational actively alcoholic loved ones.

So don't be troubled that this was his response! Or that he was nice and normal on the phone while you were away! He is behaving just the way alcoholics behave. Roller-coaster. But the lack of respect for your responsibilty and loving care of your pet? Well that's not alcoholic behavior necessarily that's just kind of someone being a selfish jerk!

Accept it exactly as it is, and expect more of it, and decide if that's what you want in a love partner or not, cuz it doesn't look like it will change anytime soon!!

I sure hope your dog is OK. Your dog can't even speak and I bet she would never treat you with this hostility!!
peace,
b

isurvived

This guy sounds like a real charmer! OMG! One word fits him.

SELFISH

GiveLove

Heavens, Bohn, who was it in your life who taught you that this kind of sorry treatment is all you deserve out of relationships? Who convinced you that this is something you should settle for, for even one minute?

And while you're thinking of who...can you give me that person's telephone number? I'd like to have a word with them.

You deserve so much better. This relationship is horrible for you. Why not let him go find someone who wants to be his doormat? I am assuming you don't want to be?

Seren

In trouble? Is he a parent and you a child? Did you ditch school to play hooky or pull some other kid's hair in class? NO

You are an adult who took care of an animal who relies on you completely. You have nothing to feel bad about, or feel "in trouble" about.

Hugs to you!!! and have a wonderful, peaceful birthday!!!7

HG

Bohn05

Yes you are right it does seem like a parent and child relationship!!! If I do not do exactly what he wants when he wants it--he comes up with some sort of punishment or verbal abuse. He could just as easy came down to my house last night as running all the way back to Baltimore (same distance) but I guess that was my punishment for picking my sick dog over him.

Thanks so much for all the birthday wishes!!!! Yes my poor 13 year old dog actually got some sleep last night and seems much better. Now I have to figure out a way to put her ear medicine in. She is only 11 pounds but it is like wrestling with a 500 pound alligator as it hurts her to put the medicine in at this point and she struggles!!! LOL

Thanks again everyone as I go through the process of getting away from this toxic relationship!!!

Freedom1990

Hoping you are able to get that ear medicine in! I know how difficult that can be as I've dealt with a few ear infections with my dogs over the years.

Give that little sweetie a hug for me! I've got one two months shy of 16, one over 16, and a 14 year old (plus others). Those senior dogs are pretty special.

Freedom1990

PS. Wanted to add with a dog that small, you can give her 1 baby aspirin, and give it about 45 minutes before you put the medicine in. That might knock the pain back a bit. She can have a baby aspirin every 12 hours.

Bohn05

Thanks--great idea and I even think I have some laying around somewhere from when my son was little.

MissFixit

When we dealt with my cat's ears, we held her in a towel and tried to distact her with food or someone petting her.

Lenina

Bohno,

Don't use tylenol on your pet without talking to the vet! My aunt gave 1/2 a tylenol to her cat and it caused kidney failure! I hope you're both feeling better soon!

Love,

Lenina

Freedom1990

Tylenol is toxic to both dogs and cats.

Dogs can take aspirin. I worked for my vet for a few years.