by myself
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 10
by myself
Hello. I am new here and feeling kinda lost. I feel alone in this "battle". Alone meaning...support - on a personal level. I am 8 days in and still feel like I am hiding things. Always hid my alcohol problem and now I feel like I am hiding my road to recovery. I can't tell my mom - has enough going on and I don't want her to have something else to worry about. My brother (not biological) - an alcoholic with recent charge of DUI. My 1 close friend - the town crier. My boss/best friend - battling ovarian cancer. My on and off boyfriend for the last 5 years - not even close to understanding my emotional state.
What now...?
What now...?
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Constantly moving, Earth
Posts: 21
Hey there,
I want to tell you this: People who have never had problems with alcohol will never fully grasp what you are going through. So when you eventually tell them, keep that in mind and you will be able to put their reaction in a different perspective.
Good luck to you!
I want to tell you this: People who have never had problems with alcohol will never fully grasp what you are going through. So when you eventually tell them, keep that in mind and you will be able to put their reaction in a different perspective.
Good luck to you!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: SC, USA
Posts: 43
Well, you're here; so you may as well stay here. There's a lot of good advice and support at SR. My story's similar to yours in that we both hid our drinking and are recovering in solitude. Believe me, if you lurk here long enough, you won't feel alone.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 100
My on and off boyfriend for the last 5 years - not even close to understanding my emotional state.
Gotcha...
I am drinking right now because of that VERY reason...
AA is the place to go, I never felt alone after that, my drinking afterwards, was of my own stupidity.
Thankyou for your post, I know exactly how it feels to have a spouse who is indifferent to the condition...
I wish you the best of luck
Gotcha...
I am drinking right now because of that VERY reason...
AA is the place to go, I never felt alone after that, my drinking afterwards, was of my own stupidity.
Thankyou for your post, I know exactly how it feels to have a spouse who is indifferent to the condition...
I wish you the best of luck
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: In my head...tis dark in here!
Posts: 213
Welcome...I'm new here too (day 4 for me now)...I too do not have support around me at home...no extended family ....husband doesnt really think I have that much of a problem....like someone else just said, people without drinking problems do not fully understand what we go through...I have found this site to be an enormous help, I dont think I'd have made it this far without it...so thank you to all on SR 
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,385
Original - I drank for many 'reasons' - the only real reason I drank was because I was an alcoholic.
Many of the people here get by with little or no support - thats why SR is such a boon, such a support.
It works best tho if we use it before we pick up a bottle...
with the right support we can talk things through, ride out our feelings and start to change our patterns, and make some inroads.
It turned me around
D
Many of the people here get by with little or no support - thats why SR is such a boon, such a support.
It works best tho if we use it before we pick up a bottle...
with the right support we can talk things through, ride out our feelings and start to change our patterns, and make some inroads.
It turned me around
D
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
(((original)))
To protect my early fragile sobriety ....I made drastic
changes I did leave my still drinking lover of 5 years
We no longer had much in common without alcohol.
He survived.....I thrived....
To protect my early fragile sobriety ....I made drastic
changes I did leave my still drinking lover of 5 years
We no longer had much in common without alcohol.
He survived.....I thrived....
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 10
I was a bartender. I shot on the pool league. I enjoyed the nites out w/my friends. 9 days in and I'm wondering about my friends - who will stay @ the bar and who will stand by me. I already know the answer and it's kinda sad. And when it comes 2 my boyfriend, when I told him of my decision 2 quit drinking, his 1st response "Does that mean I have 2 quit drinking too?" and then "We're still gonna have my b-day party, right?" I gave in on his b-day and gave in 2 more times. The 3rd time, our anniversary, we went back 2 the place we met - a bar. Saturday we are supposed 2 go watch the PPV fight. Of course, where alcohol is served. I'm sure if I said I'd rather not go, he'd support that and we'd not go. I feel like he is trying 2 test me and put that temptation out there 4 me. What should I expect from him? Is it fair 4 me 2 ask him 2 quit drinking? We don't live 2gether so his nites out w/the guys would still be available 4 him. And he did say he wouldn't drink when its just the 2 of us. I think he wants 2 support me but wants 2 have his time 4 the party as well. I'm not sure there could be a future 4 us.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,476
Hi,
My suggestion is that you take the focus off your boyfriend and put it on yourself. It's hard for others to understand addiction. Stopping drinking is really hard and for me, it took all my energy. Focus on yourself and your recovery. Early sobriety is a time of many very hard choices. I could not be around alcohol at all for a long time when I stopped drinking. It was just not possible for me, way too stressful.
My suggestion is that you take the focus off your boyfriend and put it on yourself. It's hard for others to understand addiction. Stopping drinking is really hard and for me, it took all my energy. Focus on yourself and your recovery. Early sobriety is a time of many very hard choices. I could not be around alcohol at all for a long time when I stopped drinking. It was just not possible for me, way too stressful.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Dallas, Tx
Posts: 2,405
Hi SD, you don't have to do this alone there is support here and at lots of places in person that will welcome you with open arms. Your BF sounds like he's being supportive and thats a good thing let him be supportive. It will be risky for you to be around lots of drinking especially early on so be sure and make YOU and YOUR SOBRIETY #1, it's necessary. I don't know your mom, obviously, but as a mom with a grown daughter I would certainly want to know if my daughter was giving up risky behaviour even if I didn't know she indulged to begin with. Your desire and plan to get and stay sober may be just what your mom needs to ease her other worries and to let her know she doesn't need to worry so much about you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 10
thank you
In just one day of being a part of this community I find that being able to talk to others who have been or are in my shoes gives me hope. Thank you for all the kind words and the words of encouragment. Sometimes I am not sure which direction I am going and even if that is the right direction to go. Being able to talk it out with all of you will make this journey a little less painful and let me know that I am not the only one out there who is lost and wanting to find their way back.
Thank you....
Thank you....
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
