Saracidal

i've never really thought about how sad and horrible addiction is... being here has kinda forced me to think about it.. i dunno if thats a good thing or a bad thing

luckedog

To be very blunt, Yes it is a good thing! until you realize how terrible it is you probably won't do anything about it. We are trying to tell you--PLEASE-- don't wake up later in your life looking back over years of mess ups, mistakes and remorse.Like many of us have. You are still young enough to miss all that. alcoholism is a PROGRESSIVE disease- it just keeps getting WORSE as time goes by!! Do something about it now while you still can.
You may control it for now but believe me IT will control you one day. Just something to think about!

Astro

They make you depressed, but you've posted over two dozen times here. So I'm guessing there's a reason why you keep coming back? Maybe it's seeing some hope?

That's why we say that recovery is about attraction rather than promotion. We're not going to shout and scream about how great recovery is (well, we do sometimes) but sooner or later you're going to realize that someone here has something that you want, a good lifestyle without drugs or alcohol.

Stick around, it can only get better, right?

Mattcake

Addiction IS sad, however thinking about it is a good thing Please consider this:




Full size: http://i27.tinypic.com/2dlrzgk.jpg

(I believe this chart is not subject to copyright)

mtnmagic

Hi Sweet Sara. I only wish you the best. Please just try not to drink for the next five minutes. Then check in with yourself and try five minutes more. Keep repeating. If you start to go through withdrawals, let us know.

There is a huge world out there just for you. As long as you keep doing what you are doing, I swear you will miss it.

Take care of you. I know you don't believe it at this moment, but you are so worth it.

NEOMARXIST

OMG, I just read that chart down the left hand-side and my drinking and consequences of drinking fitted absolutley to the letter. I can't believe it, staggering, I am not alone!!!!!!!
Just looked at the right hand side and that's fitting like a glove to!!! I am soooooo glad I have reached where I am at the moment!!
thankyou, thankyou xxxx The undefinable fears rings so true, I couldn't put into words how helpless I felt about the future but how I couldn't put my finger on why, kinda like my soul and 'common-sense' had been totally stipped of me.

Thankyou SR and all the wonderful Sober people who give people like me hope that I can live a happy and fullfilling life without needing drink/drugs to achieve it. xx

Sara, I wish you all the best, I know you probably don't believe me but I can relate to what you may be feeling, I never believed what all these sober people were on about, I weren't like them all sqeeky clean and 'boring', I was mr Rock n' roll living fast and partying hard (I had many,many,many one man party's too, I didn't discriminate, haha, as long as I had copious amounts of booze/drugs and my tunes then it was a party)

You will never see happiness on the face of drinkers who are drinking to oblivion in the way that many of us on SR did, just a lost/lonely/cry for help type look in my eyes, even though I didn't know what I wanted help with, 'undefined' fears like the chart says.

All the best Peace, love and Happiness xx

Aysha

Something had to make you look for a site like this.
So you must have thought about something that isnt right about your life as far as drinking goes.
It is depressing. I cant lie and say it isnt. But its that depressing thought of Addiction, not recovery that makes us want to get better.
And I even think that recovery can be depressing sometimes too. I need to take a break from the whole topic sometimes myself.
But once you give recovery a try for a little while. And not one of us here is perfect and got it right the very first time. The more time you spend improving and the more effort you put into changing. Not only not drinking. But your mind set and attitude toward stopping. It does get better. And once you start to see the benefits of being clean. It stops being depressing.
I would never have attempted to stop using if I didnt get so low in depression by looking at my life and how much I have screwed it up by being an addict for so long. And I agree with luckedog. Thats why we get to the point of stopping the madness.
I dont like being a miserable , sad, angry mess all the time.

NewBeginning010

Love the chart Matt, related to it on too many levels \

Hmmmmm these forums are not depressing at all, if anything they offer hope to those of us that have been wrapped up in alcohol &/or drug abuse.

We could all post like its one great party & add some lights/music in the background but thats not how it it works.

Its tough to go through & work a program, the fact that you are still here & reading speaks volumes. I pray that you will get a handle on this before you give in.

One of the great things about the online world is that you now have a place to go back to & read about how you were feeling/thinking in the past, please don't come back here with tears in your eyes & a broken soul/heart in 10 years thinking I could have done things differently.

This forum has some of the most wonderful people & sharing that I have ever experienced, the only depressing part is the fact that you see & relate to these stories/posts and know that you need to do something about it.

I wish you the all of the best in whatever path you choose and hope to see you here & reading about your recovery.

Take Care,

NB

cptspalding

Saw your comment on aasharon90's post. Have you not listened to anything that anyone has said to you? You may not know us in person but we DO care. But you have to open up and let us in.

Midton

It is the sad, horrible, scary stories, especially from the new desperate people, that perversely give me the most strength. Their tales and calls for help acutely remind me of where I was or was going and gives me the strength to continue, thus far.

I'm only on day 17 but when I read some of the posts I can sense my blood pressure rising and my hearts beats a bit faster, basically I am scared. I read them first thing every morning then I say to myself I won't drink today.

I might sound like a broken record but this site has really been helping me.

flutter

You sure it's the forum's fault again?

I know when I was in the midst of drinking myself to oblivion I didn't see much light, or hope, or relief from what I thought my life's problems were.

Along the path of recovering from such a horrific dependency on alcohol, I have begun to see things a lot differently.

Where I once saw helplessness, I've found strength.
Where I once felt tired, I have new energy.
Where I once hid from my life, I'm now an explorer.
Where I once numbed my feelings, I feel everything with the passion I was given.
Where I once cured my boredom, I now find how intricately fascinating life is, and try to live in every moment.
I have finally learned how to truly love. Love myself, and the people who mean more to me than life.

I used to hate coming 'here'.. I'd get depressed. Even recently I've felt that way. It's sad to me to read stories like yours, and a lot of people similar to you who are still struggling and still living in that dark and hopeless place.

There is more out there, and when you're ready.. if you're ever ready, you'll find it. Your life will be waiting for you, and that lonely, hurt, sad little girl inside you will have lots of room to grow and flourish. I hope that for you.

totfit

Reading about it in a forum is not so near as depressing as living it daily. Course for a long time our denial blocks the real view of our lives until it becomes much too apparent.

Dee74

There's a lot of people in pain here...and lots more every day.
I find it inspiring that so many keep coming back - and make it out of the hell they've been living.

D

Aysha

I agree with that last post. (totfit) Living it was a million times more depressing than anything on this forum.
I also agree that this forum is full of hope and proof that I dont have to be depressed about anything anymore. That it is very possible to be who and what I need and want to be. And that is just happy and content with life. However it comes. Good and bad. I can be ok with all of it now.
And I also find that I am never alone in any type of struggle I have. Recovery/addiction related or not. I have found a plethora of genuine life long friends here that I am so very grateful to call all of them family.
I think it may be depressing only because this site is making you take a look at yourself in a different way than you are use to.
I dont for a minute believe that your ok with drinking. And if you didnt want to change at least a little bit. You would never have even registered here or kept coming back. You have even went as far as to reregister because you were banned last week.
If thats not a seriously loud cry for help. I dont know what is.

Anna

Recovery is full of hope.

If you read around the boards, maybe you will be inspired.

KenL

Just keep coming back Sara. Keep trying and don't let some posters bring you down. Some will come down on you pretty hard and call it tough love. Others will build you up and urge you to continue to fight no matter what. Either way can yield positive results. Ultimately it's you who chooses what you want to do. But I do hope that you keep coming back and giving SR a chance to be a positive thing in your life and not a negative thing. Give it some time and patience.

Skeeter2

MattCake, thanks for posting that chart! Interesting ...

shaun00

..

i think i know what you mean..
sure addiction/alcoholism is sad and horrible...
seeing people disappear from sr or friends that have gone to their graves.

its not pretty right.....it rips me up sometimes seeing good people return to the old game....over and over and over.

but..what can "i" do about it.......whallow in it...?
or do what ever it takes to stay sober.......and not take that first drink.

i dont wanna die.........or live a miserable life.........
i wanna live life to the full.........the way i was design to.

Saracidal

i guess it isnt really that depressing here, i just feel kinda weird today

Dee74

I dunno....like you said - maybe being here has helped you look at yourself a little more closely - it might make you feel a little weird but I don't think it's a bad thing so long as it's constructive

D