justbored

No one really knows about my problem and I don't know how to bring it up or what kind of reaction I may get.

Taking5

So what is your problem?

tallcactus

((Justbored,))
Pretty darn easy...
Take him/her aside and say U need to talk, lay it all out there, show those emotions, cry if U have 2. It is hard, yes, but, this is surrendering/acceptance of your problem....DO IT!
Stay strong.

Pelican

"I'm allergic to alcohol. I break out is stupid when I drink"

In the meantime, "Don't borrow from tomorrow".

You'll often find that the subject doesn't come up. Most alcoholics are too worried about their next drink to pay attention to your not drinking. So don't stress today about situations that aren't part of your reality.

If all else fails, tell the truth. It works best!

Jade19

I know what your feeling...

I have told a few close friends but for the rest I use the ol' "I'm on a medication and can't drink right now. But honestly, I feel so good not drinking may never have one again!!" Seems to work really well and not to many people care really...they seem to just let it go once you say that....hang in there...

~jade

tommyk

I often say,

"I quit drinking because alcohol was giving me pancreatitus. And I'm not ready to die yet."

The conversation is usually over at that point, lol.

jade09

I have the same issue.....not easy telling people I'm an alcoholic....I mostly try to avoid the topic, but when it comes up, I still do not have the strength/power or trust in myself yet to come foward....I still talk around it....say things like....i try not to drink anymore.....i'm trying to phase that out of my life...i no longer indulge...i don't really drink anymore.....
anything to get me outta it without screaming....I AM AN ALCOHOLIC..........
too bad they probably know anyway by the way I say it~

Dee74

Hi Justbored

Everybody knew my problem so it wasn't hard for me to publicly announce I was an alcoholic - not everyone agreed, but everyone accepted my decision not to drink anymore.

But that's not everyone's style - I needed to do that for my journey, but thankfully not everyones like me LOL

Essentially whether you drink or not is nobody else's business, even if they try to make it so - all people really need to know is that you're not drinking...what, if anything, you tell them after that is entirely up to you

D

hendershot

I second what Dee said. You shouldn't feel that you owe anybody an explanation, it is your own buisiness, and if you are uncomfortable about it you can always tell them at another date. Obviously, close friends and family are a different sort but honestly is generally a good policy in those cases.

killingmesmalls

The last few months I tried going on an antidepressant and was open about it to people in my life. I regretted even bringing it up to some of them, because they thought they were being encouraging in saying that they didn't think I needed to be on something - that it was just a psychiatrist trying to make money off feeding meds to people who don't really need them, and they thought I was doing fine. Maybe they thought that these comments would help build me up, but in truth they just made me feel worse - like something was really wrong with me for seeking out professional help and that I was weak because I needed help. And those that said stuff like that to me, really didn't know what it was like to be me at all - they had no idea, and went on the assumption that they knew everything there was to know. I had learned to be very good about keeping all the dark stuff to myself, and hiding the fact that I drank. I had them all fooled - so now that I am seeking help I am sure it doesn't seem like I need it in their eyes.
I have only told one person in my life about going to AA and working on sobriety and recovery and that is my husband. I was going to keep it from him too until I had a little more time under my belt, but found myself having to lie about where I had been - and it just wasn't right. So I told him and he has been so so supportive of me doing it, and he is keeping it between us. I don't have to worry about him going off and telling the the extended family - I don't have to worry about that with him, where as most people in my life I would definitely worry about stuff like that. So for all the rest, it is none of their business for right now. Until I get a sure footing in the steps and in recovery - they don't need to know. That's how I feel anyway - I don't need to justify my seeking help to anyone at this point. I wish you luck.

CarolD

Hmm....in early sobriety I said....
"I don't drink...I'm in AA"

These days....years later.....
"I don't drink...I'm in AA"

So simple...and very effective

Freeport

Last week I went on an annual vacation with some relatives. There's usually a fair amount of drinking and I was worried about how to explain that I wasn't drinking. Once night, another couple hosted everyone for dinner, and the theme – no kidding – was "Wines from our Region." I went down carrying a bottle of Coke and simple told them that I wasn't drinking because I'm training for a marathon, which I am. They criticized my choice of Coke as an unhealthy beverage (as opposed to the martinis and wine they were drinking) but didn't press it beyond that for the remainder of the week. Surprised me.

Also, it has never been clearer to me that several of the people who join us on this trip have every bit as much problem with alcohol as I do. Perhaps worse, because at least I'm addressing my issue.

By the way, hit the 100-day mark last week. 105 days as of today!

Rad44

Why aren't you drinking?

I have to Drive Home.

I am on a Low Carb Diet.

None of your Business.

Because I don't Feel Like it.

I'm trying to be Healthy.

Why do you have to Drink?

Because I'm kind of Partial to my Memory and Motor Skills.

Wolfchild

For me, i'm not as interested in what people think or feel about my problem(s) as i am in their ability to help me to find a solution that works for me. Thank God the Twelve Steps & Twelve Traditions have helped me to view problems and difficulties as an opportunity to practically apply the spiritual principles that i am aware of!!

You can find the Hope and Freedom necessary to stay focused on your life and your process of recovery through acceptance & surrender to a better way of life. It's worked for thousands upon thousands of people and can work for you if you work for it. Keep coming back & keep it simple!!

smacked

My reasons for sobriety and recovery are no one's business but mine.

If offered a drink, "No, thank you." seems to suffice.

Latte

I don't like the way alcohol tastes. I never have. I drank for the feeling. I don't want that feeling anymore.

"I don't like the way it tastes" usually works for me.

Anna

I never felt a need to tell anyone.

And, honesty was part of the issue too. I refused to make up stories about why I was not drinking, so I just started saying 'No, thanks'.

sickofthewaste

I agree with freepy, that is a lot of people have alcohol issues, to put it mildly and are quite okay and indeed envious when somebody says no thanks I am not drinking today. I think that the majority of people have problem with alcohol. That is the nature of the substance, one is too many and a thousand is not enough.

It takes a deal of courage to acknowledge it early and then it becomes a matter of survival to acknowledge it later.

splendra

I wonder why you feel you have to tell them anything?

I guess we could send out greeting cards to everyone we know: In case you did not know I am sober.

Why are you finding yourself in situations where an explanation might be necessary?

Are you still hanging out with your drinking buds?

Hudstar

This is a really helpful discussion as it's something I keep obsessing over as I inch nearer towards taking the plunge into sobriety.

The more I think about it, looking ahead, the less concerned I am with the idea of telling the casual associate, colleague, host that I don't drink.

But they're are a close few to me, made up of old dear friends, my mother and brother and a few close friends/housemates who have been close in proximity enough to see my decline over the recent years. It's these people that I most want to be able to come out honestly with about my problem and what I intend to do about it. Noble enough. right?

But the part of me that is is holding me back is how badly I want them to be able to understand the full gravity of what I have put myself through and what I'm trying to do to get better. It's selfish perhaps, and possibly just alcoholic thinking, but just saying 'I'm giving up drinking' reveals virtually nothing. Same for just saying, "I'm an alcoholic." How do I convey the hell that has been my addiction when these phrases have been heard so much they've all but lost all meaning?

Maybe it doesn't matter all that much. Still....