When you need help....where do you go?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 98
When you need help....where do you go?
For those of you who remember me, I want you to know I am sober and doing well. I was mad at alot of people here because I kept relapsing and coming her for answers, when I really in my heart did not make a committment.
With that said, I hit a wall today, don't know what caused it, but all of the sudden, I just wanted a drink, I actually had a bottle in my hand, and i left and came to the computer and went on chat. There were six people logged in, but when I started asking for help, only one person responded once, with the words "that must be hard" and then it was crickets,,,,,
I want to know from you people, where do you go when you really need instant support? Is there such a thing. I don't have AA numbers, so I called the hotline, thank god, I had that.
Just curious of the people that got sober on this forum, what did they do when they hit a wall like i did today and needed help
With that said, I hit a wall today, don't know what caused it, but all of the sudden, I just wanted a drink, I actually had a bottle in my hand, and i left and came to the computer and went on chat. There were six people logged in, but when I started asking for help, only one person responded once, with the words "that must be hard" and then it was crickets,,,,,
I want to know from you people, where do you go when you really need instant support? Is there such a thing. I don't have AA numbers, so I called the hotline, thank god, I had that.
Just curious of the people that got sober on this forum, what did they do when they hit a wall like i did today and needed help
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,383
I've never used chat, ladyb, but I've never been let down here on the boards -
yeah sometimes there's not a lot of people around - sometimes things are slow, especially for me being in another timezone....
but I can always find something to read, from someone else's experiences, that help me.
D
yeah sometimes there's not a lot of people around - sometimes things are slow, especially for me being in another timezone....
but I can always find something to read, from someone else's experiences, that help me.
D
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,476
Like Dee, I've never used chat either.
But, I never fail to be inspired when I come here, with an open mind and read. There is always something that 'fits' for whatever is bothering me.
But, I never fail to be inspired when I come here, with an open mind and read. There is always something that 'fits' for whatever is bothering me.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: scotland
Posts: 1,493
hello ladyb.nice to meet you.i used chat alot when i first got sober 6 and a half months ago and im sorry you had that experience today.i would have spoken to you about your wall! i started doing the steps with a sponsor a few months ago and up until now i have never hit a wall.the problem has been removed,,just for today.please pm me if i can be be of any help to you.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
I don't use Chat either.....but I have shared with you
on these Discussion Forums. Welcome back to SR...
I do have lot's of AA numbers to use....have done so any
time of the day or night. I'm glad you did have
the hot line number but why not use the support
of the AA fellowship to increase your success?
Good to know you did not drink...regardless of the urge.
on these Discussion Forums. Welcome back to SR...
I do have lot's of AA numbers to use....have done so any
time of the day or night. I'm glad you did have
the hot line number but why not use the support
of the AA fellowship to increase your success?
Good to know you did not drink...regardless of the urge.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 98
Made it through the crisis, thanks for the support
Tomorrow I am off to AA, can't use these boards alone.
Don't ever want to go back to day one, or to be that person again.
It was scary this afternoon, may-be I was tired, bored, I don't know, can't let that happen again alone.
Tomorrow I am off to AA, can't use these boards alone.
Don't ever want to go back to day one, or to be that person again.
It was scary this afternoon, may-be I was tired, bored, I don't know, can't let that happen again alone.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Niagara Fall, NY
Posts: 8
Hi Lady,
I am so glad you did not pick up....one thing taught to us in OP was the acronym HALT....hungry, angry,lonely, tired. I have used this many times to recognize what I was feeling and to deal with whatever it was in the moment. It sounds as if you possibly brought that up in your last post.
IN AA it also suggested you numbers....not just one number because the first or second person may not be available. ( Might not be popular to say here but there are many other sober support sites online, not just this one). Reach out!!
Going to meetings is great.....build that support network in life in addition to online. For me online meetings are an adjunt to my my recovery, not my entire recovery support.
My other suggestion is PLAN AHEAD. You can't alway rely on someone being there at the exact moment you are having trouble. What are are you going to do the next time you feel you are on the edge. For me that might be a long bath, burning candles, a walk, a game online. LOL sometime I have been known to put my laptop by the tub. play a game burn candles while in the tub. Whatever works for you, do it.
Last but not least eat something sweet. For me that cut the immediate urge the fastest...baking something can fill some time and keep hands and mind busy. ( If on a diet take the extras to work or share with your nieghbors, they will love you for it.)
If no one was available here to chat, try writing, as if you are talking to some one...blogging is good but I find real pen and paper are cathartic for me. Keep a journal and make lists of why you want to stay sober...re-read and remind self what your reasons are for desiring sobriety, what the consequenses are if you don't.
Your reaching out and asking what others do should be recognized as a big step!!
Keep it up and keep reaching out.
Hugs,
Flower(holic)
I am so glad you did not pick up....one thing taught to us in OP was the acronym HALT....hungry, angry,lonely, tired. I have used this many times to recognize what I was feeling and to deal with whatever it was in the moment. It sounds as if you possibly brought that up in your last post.
IN AA it also suggested you numbers....not just one number because the first or second person may not be available. ( Might not be popular to say here but there are many other sober support sites online, not just this one). Reach out!!
Going to meetings is great.....build that support network in life in addition to online. For me online meetings are an adjunt to my my recovery, not my entire recovery support.
My other suggestion is PLAN AHEAD. You can't alway rely on someone being there at the exact moment you are having trouble. What are are you going to do the next time you feel you are on the edge. For me that might be a long bath, burning candles, a walk, a game online. LOL sometime I have been known to put my laptop by the tub. play a game burn candles while in the tub. Whatever works for you, do it.
Last but not least eat something sweet. For me that cut the immediate urge the fastest...baking something can fill some time and keep hands and mind busy. ( If on a diet take the extras to work or share with your nieghbors, they will love you for it.)
If no one was available here to chat, try writing, as if you are talking to some one...blogging is good but I find real pen and paper are cathartic for me. Keep a journal and make lists of why you want to stay sober...re-read and remind self what your reasons are for desiring sobriety, what the consequenses are if you don't.
Your reaching out and asking what others do should be recognized as a big step!!
Keep it up and keep reaching out.
Hugs,
Flower(holic)
peaceful seabird
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: floating
Posts: 4,822
Welcome back Ladyb!
I'm glad you made it through the crisis. I''m not a regular on chat either. I'm a regular on the boards, tho. CarolD once posted a list of quick fixes for the impulse:
1. Hard Candy
2. Cold drink of water
and other ideas, that just left my head (don't worry, they'll be back at the most inappropriate time
Those have been helpful to me as well as Move it, Move it! I put on some walking shoes and power walk!
I'm glad you made it through the crisis. I''m not a regular on chat either. I'm a regular on the boards, tho. CarolD once posted a list of quick fixes for the impulse:
1. Hard Candy
2. Cold drink of water
and other ideas, that just left my head (don't worry, they'll be back at the most inappropriate time
Those have been helpful to me as well as Move it, Move it! I put on some walking shoes and power walk!
Last edited by Pelican; 08-23-2009 at 06:16 PM.
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Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 2,942
Originally Posted by TheLadyb 
Made it through the crisis, thanks for the support
Tomorrow I am off to AA, can't use these boards alone.
Don't ever want to go back to day one, or to be that person again.
It was scary this afternoon, may-be I was tired, bored, I don't know, can't let that happen again alone.
Tomorrow I am off to AA, can't use these boards alone.
Don't ever want to go back to day one, or to be that person again.
It was scary this afternoon, may-be I was tired, bored, I don't know, can't let that happen again alone.
Get some numbers, build a support system.
Use that phone!Sometimes I put on my running shoes, plug in my MP3 player headphones, and hit the streets. Maybe you can find some new activities too.
Keep coming back.
You'll find love & support here.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: scotland
Posts: 1,493
ladyb,im so glad you have decided to go to AA.i could not have stopped on my own so congratulations to you.even if i could have stopped on my own it wouldnt have lasted.in AA i have found a few very good friends.and lots of folk i could ring any time of day or night.also doing the steps has given me a new life.i am never lonely or bored.you need never be alone again.please keep us posted with how you are getting on.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: SC, USA
Posts: 43
Congrat's on hangin' in there LadyB. In my shop I have a file cabinet. In one of the drawers are the empty beer bottles, wine bottle, and liquor bottles from my last binge. Also in that drawer is a weathered, folded up printout from the first thread I posted here that I used to keep in my wallet. There's also a printout of The Twelve Steps. When I'm struggling, I open that drawer, look at those empties, and read. It keeps me grounded -- reminds me of where I started this journey. I don't want to go back there. And, I lurk here alot too.
Disposable Hero
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Being, ME
Posts: 3,758
It may not feel like it, but part of spiritual awakening is coming to realize the need for help and support. So often, as addicts & alcoholics, the admission that we need help feels like a weakness or a flaw of character. In reality, it is our greatest source of strenth. It has been my experience that God allows just as many people in our lives that will screw with us as he does people who love and accept us. It seems to always boil down to a choice of what direction i want to go in before i start to gravitate toward a decision.
Thank you for sharing your struggles with us and letting us care about you.
What i do is to make a conscious decision to not use no matter what and rely on the God of my understanding daily to get me thru any situation or circumstance. i also work to live the 12 Steps & 12 Traditions, stay in contact with my sponsor & my sponsees, go to meetings regularly, be of service everywhere i go, tlak to as many recovering addicts & alcoholics as possible, and remain grateful for another day of opportunities to recover my abilities to life & enjoy life without the use of drugs or alcohol.
Thank you for sharing your struggles with us and letting us care about you.
What i do is to make a conscious decision to not use no matter what and rely on the God of my understanding daily to get me thru any situation or circumstance. i also work to live the 12 Steps & 12 Traditions, stay in contact with my sponsor & my sponsees, go to meetings regularly, be of service everywhere i go, tlak to as many recovering addicts & alcoholics as possible, and remain grateful for another day of opportunities to recover my abilities to life & enjoy life without the use of drugs or alcohol.
Heathen
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: La La Land, USA
Posts: 2,567
Sara, really.. destroy yourself if you want, quit spreading it around to people who actually want some help. How disrespectful and rude of you.
TheLadyB, I'm glad you got some help when you needed it. I know very early in my sobriety, I needed some phone numbers, and some back up plans.. and some back ups to my back ups.. I had to put in place everything I could to feel safe, and it sounds like that is what you'll need too! Chat can be a way to connect with people with alcohol/addiction issues, but we're certainly not professionals or qualified to assist in times of emergency or crisis. Build up a support network.. then you'll feel a lot safer next time!!
TheLadyB, I'm glad you got some help when you needed it. I know very early in my sobriety, I needed some phone numbers, and some back up plans.. and some back ups to my back ups.. I had to put in place everything I could to feel safe, and it sounds like that is what you'll need too! Chat can be a way to connect with people with alcohol/addiction issues, but we're certainly not professionals or qualified to assist in times of emergency or crisis. Build up a support network.. then you'll feel a lot safer next time!!
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