Wife of an addict
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Villa Rica, GA
Posts: 3
Wife of an addict
Today was the day just this morning I can't take it no more. Please help me to understand this problem that my husband has. It was breaking me financially and our children has suffered from this 7 years and today I put all that I could in our car cause I can't take it anymore. Everytime I bring up the problem he gets in offense and really takes it out on everyone by blowing his entire paycheck and the bills steadily climbing. Was I wrong to leave?:praying
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 646
Welcome and :ghug3
Please tell us more. I don't know if you were wrong to leave but i do know i knew it when I had enough. That is when I finally took action to really take care of myself and kids. That was when I realized I needed to make all decisions with us in mind first. That was the moment I started to repair the damage I allowed to happen to me and my kids.
You have found a good place here. Please keep posting.
Please tell us more. I don't know if you were wrong to leave but i do know i knew it when I had enough. That is when I finally took action to really take care of myself and kids. That was when I realized I needed to make all decisions with us in mind first. That was the moment I started to repair the damage I allowed to happen to me and my kids.
You have found a good place here. Please keep posting.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,888
Sweetjam,
I am so sorry you are at this point. Addiction takes a toll on the user and those around him/her. There comes a time when a person has nothing left and the body makes a last gasp for air. Maybe your leaving is that last gasp. Only you can tell what is right for you and your children and only you can walk that right path. If it helps to know, I left my alcoholic boyfriend of 10+ years just at the start of this month. Some days I wonder what the future holds and if life will get better from here on in, but I don't wonder if I made the right decision to leave him.
Welcome to SR!!
Alice
I am so sorry you are at this point. Addiction takes a toll on the user and those around him/her. There comes a time when a person has nothing left and the body makes a last gasp for air. Maybe your leaving is that last gasp. Only you can tell what is right for you and your children and only you can walk that right path. If it helps to know, I left my alcoholic boyfriend of 10+ years just at the start of this month. Some days I wonder what the future holds and if life will get better from here on in, but I don't wonder if I made the right decision to leave him.
Welcome to SR!!
Alice
Only stepping forward
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Alabama, USA
Posts: 330
:ghug2
Welcome!!
I wish I could tell you what was going on in your hubby's mind. I wish I could because then maybe I'd know what was going on in my A's mind.
I left almost 5 months ago; actually escorted off the property by a deputy who feared for my own safety and well being. I left against my will, crying my eyes out.
And I cried for days and days after. I felt SOO guilty for leaving. I swore I had done the wrong thing. It took all I had not to go back. Deep down I knew I had done the right thing but I kept thinking about how much leaving had hurt him. It wasn't about ME. I was thinking about HIM....what was he going to do now? Was he going to drink more? See someone else? Fall apart? I left with a fractured cheekbone, a fat lip, a black eye, I hurt from head to toe, had a headache from crying so hard, had panic attack after panic attack because of HIM but all I could think about was if my leaving was hurting him.
Was I wrong to leave?
5 months ago--absolutely, without a doubt, I had made a HUGE mistake.
Today, because of SR, counseling, al-anon, real friends I had lost along the way, the smiles and giggles of my now fearless children--Hell no!
Hugs to you sweetheart!
Welcome!!
I wish I could tell you what was going on in your hubby's mind. I wish I could because then maybe I'd know what was going on in my A's mind.
I left almost 5 months ago; actually escorted off the property by a deputy who feared for my own safety and well being. I left against my will, crying my eyes out.
And I cried for days and days after. I felt SOO guilty for leaving. I swore I had done the wrong thing. It took all I had not to go back. Deep down I knew I had done the right thing but I kept thinking about how much leaving had hurt him. It wasn't about ME. I was thinking about HIM....what was he going to do now? Was he going to drink more? See someone else? Fall apart? I left with a fractured cheekbone, a fat lip, a black eye, I hurt from head to toe, had a headache from crying so hard, had panic attack after panic attack because of HIM but all I could think about was if my leaving was hurting him.
Was I wrong to leave?
5 months ago--absolutely, without a doubt, I had made a HUGE mistake.
Today, because of SR, counseling, al-anon, real friends I had lost along the way, the smiles and giggles of my now fearless children--Hell no!
Hugs to you sweetheart!
Curled up in a good book...
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 1,542
You've done a very brave thing and did what you had to do for your own sanity. Nothing changes if nothing changes and it looks like you were the only one willing to make a change.
Take a deep breath and be kind to yourself. Having time away will help clear your mind and see things in a much less confused way - it did with me anyway!
Do you have any support for yourself? Do you go to Al Anon or counselling? Now that you've made the break its time to focus on you and your kids. From reading so many posts on this forum I can say it will get better. :ghug3
Take a deep breath and be kind to yourself. Having time away will help clear your mind and see things in a much less confused way - it did with me anyway!
Do you have any support for yourself? Do you go to Al Anon or counselling? Now that you've made the break its time to focus on you and your kids. From reading so many posts on this forum I can say it will get better. :ghug3
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
