Recreating chaos
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 693
Recreating chaos
I guess STBXAH has not had enough chaos in his life lately since he is not in the house. So after his pack of lies to me yesterday about not having a lawyer and blah, blah, blah he came over to the house 15 minutes early this a.m. He knows when I leave to take the kids to preschool and summer camp. Of course he was all morose again and looked like he had been on a bender--got the children all upset at the start of their day so much so that younger DS ran out the door, tripped and hit his elbow on the pavement.
Before I left I calmly told him he has the house from 9-5 not from 8:45 to 5:00 and that he should follow the temp. order. I got to work and he called me and told me I misunderstood him yesterday, he did not lie to me about having a lawyer. He simply said he did not want to have to pay for a lawyer but since mine screw** him he had no choice. Of course my lawyer did not set child support--the court commissioner did based on what HE told the commissioner. Looks like now we will have to re-open the order. In the mean time I am gettting down to the child support office to drop off papers they need. His first support payment is due in 2 weeks (I need it now).
Alice I am packing like a mad woman. The painters come tomorrow and as does the POD. If I have to stay up all night I am going to have it all packed. Hoping my sister, her husband and my nephews can come over to help me put stuff in garage until POD is there. I hope the house sells fast so life can return to some sort of sane place.
I am tuckered out.
Before I left I calmly told him he has the house from 9-5 not from 8:45 to 5:00 and that he should follow the temp. order. I got to work and he called me and told me I misunderstood him yesterday, he did not lie to me about having a lawyer. He simply said he did not want to have to pay for a lawyer but since mine screw** him he had no choice. Of course my lawyer did not set child support--the court commissioner did based on what HE told the commissioner. Looks like now we will have to re-open the order. In the mean time I am gettting down to the child support office to drop off papers they need. His first support payment is due in 2 weeks (I need it now).
Alice I am packing like a mad woman. The painters come tomorrow and as does the POD. If I have to stay up all night I am going to have it all packed. Hoping my sister, her husband and my nephews can come over to help me put stuff in garage until POD is there. I hope the house sells fast so life can return to some sort of sane place.
I am tuckered out.
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 45
Wow. You are steps ahead of me. What type of an AH do you have? Was he considered a "functional alcoholic"? I am married to a "functional alcoholic" and I to have two young children. I need all the advice and support I can get.
Hang in there. You are so much futher in the getting healthy process than I am. I fear the diffcult road ahead of me, but I know I must keep going.
Hang in there. You are so much futher in the getting healthy process than I am. I fear the diffcult road ahead of me, but I know I must keep going.
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Join Date: Jul 2008
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CAAW--it took me awhile to get here. It is just once things started happening they happened very fast. Which I guess is a good thing. He showed fairly fast that he was going to be a snake (of course I should have known this in advance--why did I think just because I filed for divorce he would suddenly become reasonable??!!OK, not thinking). I talked to the lawyer a week ago, got called that afternoon and told court was Monday, AH was served Sat. and now it is a week later and the shennanigans have started in full force. I think it is better this way. It is like taking a bandaid off really fast instead of pulling it off slowly. If that makes sense.
Yes, there is still a lot ahead of me but I am happy I now know I will NOT alter my course. You will get there when you are ready.
Functional alcoholic--not sure if there is such a thing. Sure they may be able to put up a good front for some people but they aren't funcitonal because they sure as heck wreck havoc on everyone else's life.
I'm keeping you in my thoughts CAAW. It is hard at first--but what everyone has said is true. Taking that first step was the hardest--STBXAH has just made the rest of it a lot more simple for me by being who he is. "Functional" for some people but truly not functional for his family.
Yes, there is still a lot ahead of me but I am happy I now know I will NOT alter my course. You will get there when you are ready.
Functional alcoholic--not sure if there is such a thing. Sure they may be able to put up a good front for some people but they aren't funcitonal because they sure as heck wreck havoc on everyone else's life.
I'm keeping you in my thoughts CAAW. It is hard at first--but what everyone has said is true. Taking that first step was the hardest--STBXAH has just made the rest of it a lot more simple for me by being who he is. "Functional" for some people but truly not functional for his family.
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,059
hi wife2kids-
like you, i am sick of the lies. and when you call them out on it, they lie even more! without even batting an eyelash.
someone here said to me "you must take responsibility for believing anything an active alcoholic says".
good on you for taking action! i'm sure you're tuckered out but this too will pass. actually, it might be a blessing to have things to do right now, to keep you busy.
like you, i am sick of the lies. and when you call them out on it, they lie even more! without even batting an eyelash.
someone here said to me "you must take responsibility for believing anything an active alcoholic says".
good on you for taking action! i'm sure you're tuckered out but this too will pass. actually, it might be a blessing to have things to do right now, to keep you busy.
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 693
I will when everyone leaves tonight. I have a painting and repair team coming over today. Friends from work and I think my family. Although I don't want to put my sister and her family from NYC (and her new beau) to work since they came to visit (and the beau to meet the family for the first time--Hi, nice to meet you, here's a box and a paint brush 
It will all work out. AH is coming over to take the kids for the day because his brother and kids are in from LA. I just hope they do not start mommy bashing in front of the kids. I don't care how much they dislike me--I just hope they are mature enough to not say mean things in front of the kids. Older DS (who knows AH's family is not so nice asked me what to do if they did--I did not say a word to him about this--he just know how they are). I asked him how he would like to handle it and at first he said--just not go. Then he asked if it was OK if he told them (because they are adults) that he did not want them talking about his mommy that way (older DS is 8 years old) and if they did not stop to just walk away. He is wise beyond his years. I told him I thought that was a perfect solution.
It will all work out. AH is coming over to take the kids for the day because his brother and kids are in from LA. I just hope they do not start mommy bashing in front of the kids. I don't care how much they dislike me--I just hope they are mature enough to not say mean things in front of the kids. Older DS (who knows AH's family is not so nice asked me what to do if they did--I did not say a word to him about this--he just know how they are). I asked him how he would like to handle it and at first he said--just not go. Then he asked if it was OK if he told them (because they are adults) that he did not want them talking about his mommy that way (older DS is 8 years old) and if they did not stop to just walk away. He is wise beyond his years. I told him I thought that was a perfect solution.
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