We have more in Ue than we know....
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Hope Land
Posts: 666
We have more in Ue than we know....
Hi Everyone,
Last weekend was a Celebration of Life, it was my best girlfreind's dad, who I met in grade 4 . I know in previous posts I have mentioned him, but through and through this man helped me and my boys through it all. Really he was a father, grandfather and friend to my boys...an insperation for them...for me he kept me going...at times he crossed the line with me...but I stood straight and strong...with the help from here and from then on...he would always make sure to get me out...he knew the strongest part of me was going to stay inside and shelter, he would have not part of it, gragged me out.
My boys lost a grandfather, my dad and then only 3 months later their own dad through crack and then his dad in denial.
We became to depand on that man, he was there for us through thick and thin....most of all he was there for my boys....something that I was so ever grateful for.
My mom pasted, just coming up to a year now Aug 24th, not a week later my friend had a seisure, hours later the Dr. told us he had a brain tumor.
Not even a year passed and he passed on the 14th of July. It got to the point of no communication with him, but when I would go to see him, he responded, his face would light up, I would put him in his wheel chair and we would just walk about, at the end with his family and I would come, they all would say look at dad when Carol comes, his face was a smile from cheek to cheek. It made them all laugh. Their dad still had life. For that they were grateful. His wife said well he sure does not respont to me like that.
At first he was not able to feed himself, I went up on a lunchtime, his wife was feeding him, he got all bothered and nasty with his wife and said I can do this myself, she said ok then do it, then he tried it and could not put a spoon to his mouth. He did not want me to see it, so I knew meal times where not when I should go. I would go after. Then it came down to meal times again it was when I could get there, so I made light of it, a grabbed a spoon and said try this, he nodded, I just put a little bit on the spoon, his smile, I could tell, enough was enough of the dinner, then I gave him an ice cream that I brought from the Dairy Queen.
No not for one minute was his family not their....always....they loves him so much...they were there through it all...not saying that I was the only one there...but it gave them happyness when I would come and the way he perked up, plus gave them a break, where they knew dad was still going to be content.
He passed away July 14th....they the family decide to have his Celebration of Life last weekend on Sunday. 3 weeks after his death. Just to give themslelves time to have a celebration where they could have had enough time to except the loss of thier dad and her husband.
It gave me the time to write a speach....I worked on it and worked...there is no world would he have wanted some sad celebration going on...nor sad speech. We had a gathering at Legion where he was full of life. I was called upon the 2nd to get up and speak...I was so shaking, not something I have ever done is to get up and talk, but I knew I had the speech ready and I told my boys that they should stand with me because I needed them to be with me, plus as what I had to say in a part of it included what he had done for them...his death hit them hard.
Well beleive it or not Rose was called upon within minutes of the service,
to talk....I was shuttering with nerves...my oldes son had his arm around as I began talking into a Mic...he kept wispering you are doing good mom....off I went....I had 3 pages full, I started from when I met the famiy when I was in grade 4, just touched upon it all and then went into the stages of our lives and the funny times....me as shy as I am not looking up and just reading, I had 100 people laughing....just over the times I had spent with the family...
At the end I said just want he ment to our family, and what he left to live on through his family...I had 3 red roses, each one of my boys took one and I took one and we gave one each to his wife , daughter and son.
I did something that I thought in a million years I would never do, stand up talk in a mic....infront of a 100 people...plus have the back up of my sons...
It was something I had to do, for the love of this man who got us through thick and thin.
I had so many come up to me and say Wow....I could never have done that and what you said was so true...as of today I had a call said I just have to say your speach was incredable.....you spoke so clearly and what you had to say was just the way he was.....
Rose
Last weekend was a Celebration of Life, it was my best girlfreind's dad, who I met in grade 4 . I know in previous posts I have mentioned him, but through and through this man helped me and my boys through it all. Really he was a father, grandfather and friend to my boys...an insperation for them...for me he kept me going...at times he crossed the line with me...but I stood straight and strong...with the help from here and from then on...he would always make sure to get me out...he knew the strongest part of me was going to stay inside and shelter, he would have not part of it, gragged me out.
My boys lost a grandfather, my dad and then only 3 months later their own dad through crack and then his dad in denial.
We became to depand on that man, he was there for us through thick and thin....most of all he was there for my boys....something that I was so ever grateful for.
My mom pasted, just coming up to a year now Aug 24th, not a week later my friend had a seisure, hours later the Dr. told us he had a brain tumor.
Not even a year passed and he passed on the 14th of July. It got to the point of no communication with him, but when I would go to see him, he responded, his face would light up, I would put him in his wheel chair and we would just walk about, at the end with his family and I would come, they all would say look at dad when Carol comes, his face was a smile from cheek to cheek. It made them all laugh. Their dad still had life. For that they were grateful. His wife said well he sure does not respont to me like that.
At first he was not able to feed himself, I went up on a lunchtime, his wife was feeding him, he got all bothered and nasty with his wife and said I can do this myself, she said ok then do it, then he tried it and could not put a spoon to his mouth. He did not want me to see it, so I knew meal times where not when I should go. I would go after. Then it came down to meal times again it was when I could get there, so I made light of it, a grabbed a spoon and said try this, he nodded, I just put a little bit on the spoon, his smile, I could tell, enough was enough of the dinner, then I gave him an ice cream that I brought from the Dairy Queen.
No not for one minute was his family not their....always....they loves him so much...they were there through it all...not saying that I was the only one there...but it gave them happyness when I would come and the way he perked up, plus gave them a break, where they knew dad was still going to be content.
He passed away July 14th....they the family decide to have his Celebration of Life last weekend on Sunday. 3 weeks after his death. Just to give themslelves time to have a celebration where they could have had enough time to except the loss of thier dad and her husband.
It gave me the time to write a speach....I worked on it and worked...there is no world would he have wanted some sad celebration going on...nor sad speech. We had a gathering at Legion where he was full of life. I was called upon the 2nd to get up and speak...I was so shaking, not something I have ever done is to get up and talk, but I knew I had the speech ready and I told my boys that they should stand with me because I needed them to be with me, plus as what I had to say in a part of it included what he had done for them...his death hit them hard.
Well beleive it or not Rose was called upon within minutes of the service,
to talk....I was shuttering with nerves...my oldes son had his arm around as I began talking into a Mic...he kept wispering you are doing good mom....off I went....I had 3 pages full, I started from when I met the famiy when I was in grade 4, just touched upon it all and then went into the stages of our lives and the funny times....me as shy as I am not looking up and just reading, I had 100 people laughing....just over the times I had spent with the family...
At the end I said just want he ment to our family, and what he left to live on through his family...I had 3 red roses, each one of my boys took one and I took one and we gave one each to his wife , daughter and son.
I did something that I thought in a million years I would never do, stand up talk in a mic....infront of a 100 people...plus have the back up of my sons...
It was something I had to do, for the love of this man who got us through thick and thin.
I had so many come up to me and say Wow....I could never have done that and what you said was so true...as of today I had a call said I just have to say your speach was incredable.....you spoke so clearly and what you had to say was just the way he was.....
Rose
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
What a tribute to this wonderful man your words are, Rose. How blessed he was, and his family was, to have had you share his life.
All the gifts of love and support and kindness that he gave you and your sons, went back to him in his last days. It was love that gave you the courage to stand up and speak at the celebration, and it was love that let your boys stand with you. That kind of love never leaves, even with death.
I am so sorry for your loss. When the sadness lessens, you will have many happy memories and I believe his spirit will remain in your heart forever.
Hugs
All the gifts of love and support and kindness that he gave you and your sons, went back to him in his last days. It was love that gave you the courage to stand up and speak at the celebration, and it was love that let your boys stand with you. That kind of love never leaves, even with death.
I am so sorry for your loss. When the sadness lessens, you will have many happy memories and I believe his spirit will remain in your heart forever.
Hugs
Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: a better place
Posts: 4,047
Rose, I'm very sorry for your loss, but so glad you were able to speak and share his life with so many. I think we do not know our own strength until it is tested. You faced your fear head on because you loved this man and all he has done for you and your family - Once we face the fear, we can move past it and accomplish what we set out to do. I know your friend's dad is smiling and so pleased!
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