Today's thought from Hazelden August 11, 2009
Miracles Happen
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 9,977
Today's thought from Hazelden August 11, 2009
Today's thought from Hazelden is:
Saying No
For many of us, the most difficult word to say is one of the shortest and easiest in the vocabulary: No. Go ahead, say it aloud: No.
No - simple to pronounce, hard to say. We’re afraid people won’t like us, or we feel guilty. We may believe that a “good” employee, child, parent, spouse, or Christian never says no.
The problem is, if we don’t learn to say no, we stop liking ourselves and the people we always try to please. We may even punish others out of resentment.
When do we say no? When no is what we really mean.
When we learn to say no, we stop lying. People can trust us, and we can trust ourselves. All sorts of good things happen when we start saying what we mean.
If we’re scared to say no, we can buy some time. We can take a break, rehearse the word, and go back and say no. We don’t have to offer long explanations for our decisions.
When we can say no, we can say yes to the good. Our no’s and our yes’s begin to be taken seriously. We gain control of ourselves. And we learn a secret: “No” isn’t really that hard to say.
Today, I will say no if that is what I mean.
You are reading from the book:
The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie
Saying No
For many of us, the most difficult word to say is one of the shortest and easiest in the vocabulary: No. Go ahead, say it aloud: No.
No - simple to pronounce, hard to say. We’re afraid people won’t like us, or we feel guilty. We may believe that a “good” employee, child, parent, spouse, or Christian never says no.
The problem is, if we don’t learn to say no, we stop liking ourselves and the people we always try to please. We may even punish others out of resentment.
When do we say no? When no is what we really mean.
When we learn to say no, we stop lying. People can trust us, and we can trust ourselves. All sorts of good things happen when we start saying what we mean.
If we’re scared to say no, we can buy some time. We can take a break, rehearse the word, and go back and say no. We don’t have to offer long explanations for our decisions.
When we can say no, we can say yes to the good. Our no’s and our yes’s begin to be taken seriously. We gain control of ourselves. And we learn a secret: “No” isn’t really that hard to say.
Today, I will say no if that is what I mean.
You are reading from the book:
The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: SE and then South some more
Posts: 2,648
Can I just tell you how hard that used to be for me? Ugh, and the explaining I felt I had to do along with that word??? No is a great word that I've gotten a lot better at using today. Keeps me happy and balanced. 
Thanks Believe!!
Thanks Believe!!
Miracles Happen
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 9,977
On Sunday I had an entire 1/2 hr conversation with my son, he could not understand why I was saying NO. He needed a reason with the No, couldn't accept just that word, because I have never really used it before. He kept saying okay No but why, and I responded "No IS a complete sentence". When I saw this I knew it was not a coincidence.
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
No, what a powerful word!!!!
No.
It is also a complete sentence as well as a complete thought.
It is in early sobriety a very difficult word to use, especially when it comes to a drink.
No was also difficult for me to use when some one asked me to do something, but I had to learn to say no to allow me time to spend working on my recovery, on spending time with my family.
Sobriety has actually made using the word no easier, now that I am not a drunk I no longer feel the need to do all kinds of extra things at work or for other people to prove that the drunk still has value, I know I have value and I know that my sobriety has value, not just for me, but for others.
Part of my being a drunk was a feeling of being "Less then". Sobriety has put me on a plane of being equal to others and not having the need to prove to others I am not less then. I said yes to almost anything asked of me to prove that I was not "Less then."
No.
It is also a complete sentence as well as a complete thought.
It is in early sobriety a very difficult word to use, especially when it comes to a drink.
No was also difficult for me to use when some one asked me to do something, but I had to learn to say no to allow me time to spend working on my recovery, on spending time with my family.
Sobriety has actually made using the word no easier, now that I am not a drunk I no longer feel the need to do all kinds of extra things at work or for other people to prove that the drunk still has value, I know I have value and I know that my sobriety has value, not just for me, but for others.
Part of my being a drunk was a feeling of being "Less then". Sobriety has put me on a plane of being equal to others and not having the need to prove to others I am not less then. I said yes to almost anything asked of me to prove that I was not "Less then."
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
