tjp613

We had a newcomer last night that broke my heart. A young girl just coming to terms with the fact that her dad is an alcoholic and how it's affected her life. She was so grateful to be in the meeting but inconsolable at the same time. I just wanted to take her home like a stray puppy. It's hard to watch someone in so much pain.

I just gave her a hug and told her to keep coming back. I should have asked her out for coffee.

I guess it's the codie in me, but it's hard. I'm a newbie myself so not real sure about how to offer support....just trying not to overstep, y'know?

imallright

I am certain that the love and support you showed her was appreciated. I know when I first starting going to meetings, it was just a smile and someone to listen that mattered. For me, anything else would at that point would have been too much. Just the knowledge that she has some place to go and someone to listen will help.

BigSis

What I know today is that the experiences I've had have molded me into someone I am beginning to love and respect. Your girl is probably not much different from many of us at the beginning of our journeys, but imagine how far she will have opportunities to grow during all this. She may end up being far better off than the cute co-eds who wed the team captain and have the perfect little family. Her life may start out very rough, but I no longer believe in coincidence, so I truly believe that HP works in the lives of others, as well as in mine.

Don't beat yourself up for not inviting her to coffee - the hug may well be all she could handle at that time. But continue sending her good thoughts and prayers... that positive energy comes back to us three-fold!

((hugs))

Ann

At my first three meetings all I could do was cry, I couldn't share anything, but I remember being comforted by those who handed me tissues and hugs.

That was all I needed at the time, because it let me "listen" to others who had lives as bad as mine who had made it to a better place and I knew that I wanted what they had.

If they had invited me for coffee, I would not have gone at that point, I wasn't ready for that yet. But they also told me to keep coming back and I will always be grateful that I did, because those meetings and that program literally saved my life.

You can be sure that the new girl will remember your kindness and it just might be what brings her back to another meeting and another step forward, and that alone is enough to help her help herself.

Hugs

tjp613

Thank you all so much for the encouragement. She is still on my mind this morning... and maybe I am on hers.

I appreciate your insight very much. ((Hugs))

CatsPajamas

Like Ann, all I did for the first month was cry. I watched and listened, and I knew early on that I wanted what those others had : that aura of peace and serenity. My group offered kleenex, hugs and understanding. And they said "keep coming back." So I did.

And, like Big Sis, I believe each of us is in the hands of our HP, and that there are no coincidences.

I will tell anyone who will listen that Al Anon saved my life, pure and simple. Isn't it grand that Al Anon is out there - almost everywhere, and it's free to everyone?

Jody Hepler

I was so broken when I got to Alanon - I couldn't tell anyone what was going on in my home (and how I was acting also) - that my two teenaged sons had drug problems - I was so afraid - and just so hopeless. I felt safe in Alanon because no one asked me any questions. I just cried and appreciated the hugs and tissues. When they said keep coming back, I knew they meant it.

After awhile, I was able to listen through my pain - and hear them tell stories about what I was living with. Like they were looking in my kitchen window.

As Cats Pajamas and so many others have said, Alanon literally saved my life.

Hopefully, she'll come back to meetings and you can continue to give her love and acceptance and hope.

Love in recovery,
Jody Hepler

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