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Hello...My name is MrO and Today is two weeks for me.
I am feeling very good about things. To add a bit more to my story...I have been in a relationship for 2 years and they had been quite rocky. I feel lucky that she believed in me enough to stick around thru the ups and downs. She moved in with me the day I started to dry out. We have had a couple of situations during the past couple of weeks, and in the past I would have turned to the bottle and blamed her for it. However, I have done lots of studying about relationships and depression and the thinking that destroys the former and feeds the latter, so now I have the tools to deal with those types of situations without building resentment. She is not a user. This is the first relationship that I have been in where both parties were not using. It feels comfortable. Mostly because I can see the hope for the future.
Thanks for letting me share. Hope you guys have a great weekend.
I am feeling very good about things. To add a bit more to my story...I have been in a relationship for 2 years and they had been quite rocky. I feel lucky that she believed in me enough to stick around thru the ups and downs. She moved in with me the day I started to dry out. We have had a couple of situations during the past couple of weeks, and in the past I would have turned to the bottle and blamed her for it. However, I have done lots of studying about relationships and depression and the thinking that destroys the former and feeds the latter, so now I have the tools to deal with those types of situations without building resentment. She is not a user. This is the first relationship that I have been in where both parties were not using. It feels comfortable. Mostly because I can see the hope for the future.
Thanks for letting me share. Hope you guys have a great weekend.
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Osaka Japan
Posts: 55
Today's share....Feel free to Share too!
Hello...My name is MrO and Today is day 16 for me.
I would like to say Thanks to all of the people who took the time to read my share.
I encourage you guys to do the same thing right here. I would like to hear your everyday stories of good times and successes dealing with the bad times.
To wanttolive, you hit the nail on the head. This is the first time that I am in a relationship with an actual clean and sober person. Living a clean life is second nature to her so it really helps me with forming the new habits associated with not drinking. I feel safe and I am finding that I actually enjoy the serenity that goes with emotional stability.
I used to look for the "exciting" things in life, but have since learned that too much "feeling good" leads to depression and continued substance abuse. I have also left behind my "all or nothing" thinking and I am starting to see things in more shades of grey. For example: In the past if my partner did some small thing that I perceived as selfish, I would say "she is selfish and she will completely forget about my needs in the future...This relationship is not gonna work." But now I think..."Everyone is a bit selfish sometimes...Just let her know how you feel...and don't worry too much...it will happen again, but it isn't the end of the world."
I don't wanna take up all of your time so I think that is enough for now...Thanks for letting me share. Hope everyone has a good day and a better tomorrow.
I would like to say Thanks to all of the people who took the time to read my share.
I encourage you guys to do the same thing right here. I would like to hear your everyday stories of good times and successes dealing with the bad times. To wanttolive, you hit the nail on the head. This is the first time that I am in a relationship with an actual clean and sober person. Living a clean life is second nature to her so it really helps me with forming the new habits associated with not drinking. I feel safe and I am finding that I actually enjoy the serenity that goes with emotional stability.
I used to look for the "exciting" things in life, but have since learned that too much "feeling good" leads to depression and continued substance abuse. I have also left behind my "all or nothing" thinking and I am starting to see things in more shades of grey. For example: In the past if my partner did some small thing that I perceived as selfish, I would say "she is selfish and she will completely forget about my needs in the future...This relationship is not gonna work." But now I think..."Everyone is a bit selfish sometimes...Just let her know how you feel...and don't worry too much...it will happen again, but it isn't the end of the world."
I don't wanna take up all of your time so I think that is enough for now...Thanks for letting me share. Hope everyone has a good day and a better tomorrow.
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,955
Its really good to examine my perceptions and see where my own prejudices taint my reality. I try to grow past the idea that my thought have the ability to obstruct my objective perceptions. I allow myself to be wrong and see where others may be right. In time with honest reflection the picture becomes clearer. Its a work in progress.
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Join Date: May 2009
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Mr. O,
again, that's awesome! the shades of gray are where real life happens. i've dealt alot with this sentiment: i have serious trust issues, and as much as i want to be a proponent of forgiveness and grace, i still struggle daily with allowing other individuls the freedom to exist as the complette spectrum that they are. thank you for sharing your encouraging words. your positive posts always bring a smile to my face.
be well,
bh
again, that's awesome! the shades of gray are where real life happens. i've dealt alot with this sentiment:
In the past if my partner did some small thing that I perceived as selfish, I would say "she is selfish and she will completely forget about my needs in the future...This relationship is not gonna work."
be well,
bh
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Osaka Japan
Posts: 55
Day 20 Share...
Hello...My name is Mr.Osaka and today is day 20 for me.
The past few days I have been cleaning up a few of the messy things that I had created in my life. Namely, dealing with the "tax man". Really Really don't like that guy.
Had not paid a dime in taxes since I came to Japan nearly 5 years ago, but now I need to pay them to get a new working visa so I can stay in the country.
This will be my 3rd fo round with the immigration office. This time of "Uncertainty" had been very difficult for me in the past, (have to wait for 30 to 60 days to find out if my application has been approved) which drove me to the bottle, but now is different. I'm allowing myself to feel the anxiety so I can process it in the correct manner. I am also building on the "sense of accomplishment" that we all get from taking care of our responsibilities.
I can really feel myself breaking the destructive habits from the past. It is encouraging and that encouragement is feeding my emotional and spiritual strength. Feels really good.
On another note...relationships have their contentious points and this one is no different. However, being of the mind that there is a positive and a negative to every situation, I have come to this conclusion:
After having been in so many extremely F'd up relationships, the situations that my partner considers "fights", I consider minor bumps. This causes me much less stress and it also allows me to help guide her through those bad moments. This point gives me a whole lotta hope for the future.
Hope everyone is getting by alright. Thanks for letting me share.
The past few days I have been cleaning up a few of the messy things that I had created in my life. Namely, dealing with the "tax man". Really Really don't like that guy.
Had not paid a dime in taxes since I came to Japan nearly 5 years ago, but now I need to pay them to get a new working visa so I can stay in the country. This will be my 3rd fo round with the immigration office. This time of "Uncertainty" had been very difficult for me in the past, (have to wait for 30 to 60 days to find out if my application has been approved) which drove me to the bottle, but now is different. I'm allowing myself to feel the anxiety so I can process it in the correct manner. I am also building on the "sense of accomplishment" that we all get from taking care of our responsibilities.
I can really feel myself breaking the destructive habits from the past. It is encouraging and that encouragement is feeding my emotional and spiritual strength. Feels really good.
On another note...relationships have their contentious points and this one is no different. However, being of the mind that there is a positive and a negative to every situation, I have come to this conclusion:
After having been in so many extremely F'd up relationships, the situations that my partner considers "fights", I consider minor bumps. This causes me much less stress and it also allows me to help guide her through those bad moments. This point gives me a whole lotta hope for the future.
Hope everyone is getting by alright. Thanks for letting me share.
Last edited by MrOsaka; 08-15-2009 at 02:55 AM. Reason: Adding clarification information.
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