Getting rid of his stuff

Old 08-08-2009, 08:24 AM
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Getting rid of his stuff

Hi everyone,

My recovering ABF moved out in January. He had kept his apartment so he went back there. He left some stuff at my house, saying he would get it later. We got back together again for a couple of months but I broke it off again in June.

My problem is how to get rid of his stuff: a computer, 2 bicycles, x-country skis for him and his 2 kids and a canoe!

When I propose that he get his stuff he says "No, not yet" (because his place is already full of junk and there is nowhere to put anything). At the same time he refuses to give me back my key because I still have his stuff.

I am going to change the lock today as I am tired of asking him for my key back. Besides he could have made a copy.

I can't just take his stuff over to his place as he lives in a high-rise with good security. He won't answer the phone and checks his mail about every 6 months. I am reluctant to even try and contact him as he has been very rude/stupid/abusive the last couple of times I've talked to him. It might be possible to contact him through his 24 year old son.

He owes me a lot of money. Would it be wrong to sell his things? Donate them to charity?

What else can I do?

Thanks for your ideas!

Spinner
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Old 08-08-2009, 08:36 AM
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You are under no obligation to serve as a Free Storage Unit for his belongings. Give him written notice and a deadline to get his stuff out or it will be sold/given away. Keep a copy in case he tries to take you to Small Claims Court and say you never told him.
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Old 08-08-2009, 08:56 AM
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This is his stuff so he needs to come and get it. He doesn't have a place for it he may rent a storage. Like Rad 44 said give him a deadline and let him know what you're are going to do with it. For examle: "On the 10th of June I'm putting all your stuff on the curb, come and pick it up or I'm putting everything on craigslist and getting back the money you owe me". Just have a written proof ;-))).
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Old 08-08-2009, 09:18 AM
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I agree, you've been pursuing him to get his things and he's put you off. A storage company would give me a set deadline and would sell or donate my things.

If you aren't being treated like anything but a storage facility, then I say it's okay to act like one and do the same. Send a note in writing, certified mail even to document you sent it. (It's not your problem if he ignores his mail to avoid creditors etc.) Then sell his things. What doesn't sell goes to charity.

You've been used long enough by this man don't you think? I have serious doubts a small claims court would argue you've not been fair. It's been since June at least that you've been housing his stuff.

Alice
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Old 08-08-2009, 11:34 AM
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Originally Posted by Rad44 View Post
You are under no obligation to serve as a Free Storage Unit for his belongings. Give him written notice and a deadline to get his stuff out or it will be sold/given away. Keep a copy in case he tries to take you to Small Claims Court and say you never told him.
Yes no obligation to this man anymore. When I split my XABF I was lucky to be able to have his father come and pick up his stuff. He too owed me a lot of money and none of which I saw again. I was glad to get my sanity back which was worth more than any money in this world!

I would give him notice and keep a copy just like Rad stated and give him a deadline to get his stuff and period end of story! Simple!

Then you are free to go on with your life and move forward on your journey! We are here for you while you travel this journey remember that you are not alone-
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Old 08-08-2009, 12:03 PM
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Thanks everyone,

I have just changed the lock on my door. It was really easy. I just went to the hardware store, bought the same kind of lock ($40), and replaced the bit that the key goes into. It makes me feel a lot better knowing that he can't just come in my house whenever he wants to.

So I will write him a letter (which he may or may not get, depending if he looks at his mail), leave a message on his phone (he doesn't check his messages either) and give him a deadline of the end of August. I think that's plenty of time. Then I will sell his stuff or give it away.

Fortunately, he doesn't have anything of mine that I want back (exept my sanity and I'm working on that!).

I was trying to be decent and polite with him about our breakup but after he has been phoning me up just to call me names and tell me lies (said he had tested positive for HIV) I don't feel like I owe him anything any more.

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Old 08-08-2009, 01:39 PM
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sounds like a yard sale september 1st then!
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