bdiddy5522

So a good friend of mine came over tonight with his kids to hang out with my daughter and me. Our wives were at some home decorating party so he wanted to get together. I realize that I am WAY too new into recovery to even subject myself to this, as I knew he would walk in with a 12 pack! I told my wife last night that I don't want to be around anyone drinking for a while until I am more comfortable with my recovery. She told me I can't alienate myself or we will lose all of our friends. (Thanks a lot honey!) So here I am, on day 4 or sobriety waiting for him to show up with my poison.

To my total amazement, I didn't have a drop! He asked why I wasn't having any, and I just said I am trying to watch my weight and get in shape. He was fine with that. We hung out, kids played.... he had 4 beers. I have to admit, they looked pretty tasty, but I just kept telling myself it has been a rough 4 days to throw it all away for a couple beers. (As we all know it would have turned into many more.) I know tomorrow I will wake up with a clear head, and it will feel GREAT!! I asked him to take the rest of the beers with him when he left, even though he wanted to leave them here for me.

So I just wanted to share my small victory. I know it was too early to even subject myself to this, but I feel I emerged on the other end stronger and super proud of myself!

Gypsy Feet

Uhg, thats too bad about your wife. I hope she "gets it" soon. Good job on staying sober

Firehazard

Big victories are made up of small ones. Way to go.

TooMuchRum

Good job! Congrats on 4 days!

Rad44

Early in my recovery in situations like that I would get Non-Alcoholic Beer to Drink as a Prop (some alcoholics advise against this as it may act as a trigger). You can even put the bottles in zip up huggies if you don't want to field questions about why you aren't drinking real beer. Also, the "watching weight" is a good reason (and not untruthful) to give as well. I lost 107 pounds in two years when I quit drinking. A whole new person in more ways than one.

wanttolive

Way to stay strong! Like you said you would hate to throw away those first 4 (probably painful) days!

tallcactus

bdiddy5522,
Great job. You should be so proud.

Congrates on the 4 days. If you have been reading any of my posts, then you know I lost over 5 years recently. Class of July now, (Haven't Joined yet.) but working on day 8 now, when the clock shows 2:30am, 08/06/09. Cunning, baffling, need i say more?

BloodnbonE

nice one! there will be many of these times to come it gets easier though.

Fubarcdn

Congratulations on 4 days and you should be proud of yourself for making it through that. The first week was the hardest for me and you made it through with flying colors.
It is a little sad that some of our friendships are tied to social drinking.
Blame it in the marketing machine that defines who most people think they are.

Tazman53

bdiddy glad you stayed sober, do what you wish with what I say, but honesty is what has set me free, free of alcohol and free in life over all. I was a drunk, I do not want to go back to beiing a drunk, I am well beyond people having a drink around me being a temptation...... but especially in early sobrity I was very open about me not drinking anymore and guess what? My real friends and family supported me totally.

I think it may be time to have a talk with your wife, I told my wife that my sobriety had to be #1 in my life, she did not understand why I just could not simply stop or just have a few, but she knew she did not want to live with a drunk, nor did she want our children to watch thier father drink himself to death.

I made no bones about the fact that I am an alcoholic then nor do I hide that fact now. I have no shame in being an alcoholic because I am a recovering alcoholic. If some one is a real freind they will support me in staying sober, they will not be trying to get me to drink either.

Would you bring sugar cookies to a diabetic if you knew they were a diabetic? Would you feel put out if you did not eat sugar cookies in front of them? Would you think less of them because they are diabetic?

Today I have no secrets, I do not advertise that I am an alcoholic, but I do not hesitate to let people know if the situation warrants it.

Do you feel good when you lie to some one? I sure don't, I feel a bit dirty, decietful, or shameful, when it comes to my alcoholism I accept that as a fact of my life, if I tell some one that I do not drink because I am an alcoholic, thier feelings about that are thier problem, not mine.

When I was a drunk I would more often lie to you then tell you the truth, friend, family, or co-worker, it did not matter, today I am not a drunk, I am a recovering alcoholic, I feel no shame or guilt in my life today because I have no secrets, no shame, & no guilt because of the way I live my life today.

Do not get me wrong, I am far from being a saint, I still mess up and when I do I make amends as soon as I can. So yes on occasion I do feel some guilt or shame for something I have done, but unlike when I was a drunk and would let that guilt and shame build up inside of me & grow, I rid myself of it by dealing with it as soon as I can.

Wolfchild

Sounds like the beginning of a beautiful relationship with yourself!
Why not take it to the next level and go to a few A.A. meetings?
A supportive fellowship of recovering alcoholics could actually help
you stay committed to your decision for a sober, happy, & free life.

smacked

The longer you're sober the sooner you're realize how bizarre it seems to have a 12 pack of beer while watching children. Maybe ask your buddy how he feels that's appropriate?

I hope your wife becomes supportive soon.

Good job.