tjp613

I'm pretty new to this world of recovery. My son is a recovering addict and I'm in Al-Anon. As I sit in meetings, and read on this board I grow more and more concerned about 2 of my very dear friends (married couple) that are alcoholics. They have a very special and intelligent 11 year old son. The woman has been one of my best friends for 30 years...since we were in college together. We're like sisters and have been through everything together.

He is the "worse" of the two...much longer history...much harder drinker. I think she's in that phase where hers is just progressing and/or she's resigned to the whole lifestyle by just trying to keep up with him. KWIM? I know she would greatly benefit by going to Al-Anon and I have mentioned that to her... but she has a list of excuses for not attending. I see signs of increasing isolation.

I know I can't coerce or even suggest that they "need" to get sober (they already know that). But would it be codie of me to simply send a copy of the Big Book to them? Ugh! As I even type that I get kinda nauseous at the thought. That totally doesn't feel right.

I guess there's really nothing I can do, huh? I just feel so bad for their son.

smacked

I would not recommend sending a copy of the Big Book to them... in my drinking days I would have just thrown it back at you and been angry. As you already know, people have to find their own way, in their own time. Sometimes that is not AA. A lot of people don't ever get sober, no matter how much any of us think they "should".

You can set your own boundaries around the friendships with them, like choosing not to interact with them if they've been drinking, and things like that. Take care of you..

tjp613

Yep! You're right!.... unfortunately.

Pelican

I think she's in that phase where hers is just progressing and/or she's resigned to the whole lifestyle by just trying to keep up with him. KWIM

I know exactly what you mean.

There wasn't anything anyone could say to me or do for me that would have changed me. When I was ready to accept what my life had become, I was ready to make changes.

You can keep focusing on your needs. You can keep growing and you can share small victories with your friend. One day she may have an awakening and want what you have: recovery.

Gandhi said: "Be the change you want to see in the world"

tjp613

Yeah, Pelican -- I think maybe the best I can do is stay in contact with her and share my stories every once in awhile. HOpefully something will *click*. Thank you!

Still Waters

Sharing your stories can't hurt tjp, I've had no desire to even touch alcohol after seeing and hearing alcoholics at my AH's rehab. It's scary stuff. You never know what will sink in someones brain.