nunyabiz84

Hi-
I am new here. 24 year old female almost 2 months sober. I just tried to post a really long story and I don't know where it went.

So I will try again, the very very shortened version.

I have been drinking almost every day for 7 years. I have decided to quit once and for all and now I feel like an infant in an adult's body. I don't know quite what I am supposed to do....

TooMuchRum

Yea I am on day 5 and I'm thinking "OK, so what do sober people do?"

I nearly posted a thread similar to this one. I'll be interested to read the replies.

nunyabiz84

I know. I feel like I am in one of those movies in which the main character wakes up in some bath tub of a foreign hotel room with no idea who the hell they are let alone where...

vegibean

You all will get there. Life goes on without alcohol. Today I am chilling with my son, watching TV, relaxing before I'm off to work tomorrow and enjoying doing nothing.

Took me a while to get here. Almost two years, in October matter of factly. I used to wonder how I was going to get through the day without picking up, now I wouldn't even think of it. Life is better and I know I'll wake up tomorrow feeling good.

One day at a time, one minute, one second and so on.........

Latte

Have you thought about 12 step meetings. That was how I got through the first 90 days. After that I was able to just go a few times a week. I have a few 24 hours today and am grateful to the people at AA.

nunyabiz84

During my drinking career I got into quite a bit of legal trouble which resulted in many many court ordered AA meetings. I met a lot of nice people, but that method is not for me. I am not a particularly spiritual person, and I also have a terrible fear of public speaking. No matter how many meetings I went to I just sat there paralyzed unable to listen while I waited for my turn to speak. I would sit there before my turn fretting about what, if anything, I would say when it my turn came. I almost always passed and then was distracted by the relief of no longer awaiting my moment in the spotlight. I definitely believe the program helps many, many people, and I think it is great for that reason.

Wolfchild

Hello and welcome to the SR community.
i appreciate your willingness to find a new way of life and your coming here to ask help. i have found that the practical solutions i was looking for in the 12 Steps & 12 Traditions of a spiritual program of recovery. Attending meetings regularly helps me to maintain my focus and help others to live without the need for drug or alcohol use. i have a Home group that i can be of service at and a sponsor to help guide me thru my recovery. Practicing acceptance and surrender gives me the strength i need, from the God of my understanding, to live life on life's terms. Being responsible for myself gives me the freedom to decide whether i will go forward or backward in life.

i hope and pray that you will learn what you can do and how you can do it.
Many of us are here to help one another & they will be along shortly to welcome you.
Please keep coming back and posting on your progress!

Zencat

Well first I'd like to say WELCOME to SoberRecovery.com (SR) the forums.

When I was first sober I put together an addiction treatment plan. A treatment plan can include all kinds of healthy activities. Anything from healthy diet, learning life skills, AA/NA meetings, involvement here at SR, exercise, education, career development, spiritual awareness, learning about addiction, and the list could go on. It all boils down for me is to do as much as I can to support my continued sobriety.

tommyk

Good to hear that you want to address an alcohol problem, welcome to SR.

My own experience, strength, and hope suggests asking yourself some of the questions that were asked of me (questions I didn't like, lol).

I disliked everything about AA.

Someone asked me why I was hesitant to speak at meetings? (Actually I was scared to death but I thought I hid it well.) I said I didn't do well speaking in front of people. I was asked if I wanted to correct this problem or continue to cower in fear? I became defensive and said I wasn't cowering in fear. But truthfully I really was... and I had to admit it to myself. And eventually I used AA to 'fix' my public speaking problem. I speak in business meetings too now, with no hesitation... I just pretend the audience members are all in AA, lol...!

I wasn't a spiritual person, I wasn't a people person, I wasn't like 'them', I didn't need "that stuff", there has to be another way, AA wasn't for me, etc.

What was I...?

I was a child-like alcoholic who didn't want to do anything I didn't want to do. I was a big baby?

It took awhile but eventually I became (through the words of others, and I hated realizing it) convinced that I was not 'special', I was not 'different', I was not 'unique', and... the sooner I got off my throne of self-centeredness a new life would emerge.

Fast forward to today - I haven't got time for drinking anymore, too many activities in my life now.

This is just my experience, strength, and hope... I you find your way to happiness as I have.

Keep coming back.

Dee74

Hi nunyabiz,

the early days of not drinking take some getting used to, especially if you did everything with a drink in your hand like I did.

Just take it slow, a day at a time, read and post here - there's a lot of us using a variety of different methods here - I hope you'll find something that will work for you

welcome!
D

CD-RUN

I think your situation is very common early in sobriety. I spent the first few months in my apartment. I didn't know what to do with myself. I spent my time, just staying sober. I had to learn how to function all over, without the alcohol. It takes time, but it does get much better. As the days add up, you'll find your drive and purpose in life come back. You just need time to adjust, to reboot the computer, so to speak.

adore79

Hi and welcome Try to stay in the moment, try to appreciate what is going on around and inside you. Don't dwell on the past and don't spend all your time planning the future. Things will fall into place for you. Everything is as it is supposed to be.

joedris

Listen, if you don't like speaking at meetings, then go to a different meeting. You should never feel uncomfortable at an AA meeting, so if you decide you want to go back and try it without being forced to do so then look around for a meeting you may be more comfortable at. I'm sure that there's a Womans Meeting in your area somewhere. Call the AA phone number in the book and ask for the location of one if you're interested.

FightingIrish

What tommyk said...

Pretty much sums up my experience, spot on.

I've found that anything I say after the word "but" requires some serious examination by a third-party, preferably multiple third parties.

Anything after "yeah but" is just plain wrong.

CarolD

Welcome to SR and congratulations on your sober time.

Why not make a list of things you wish to accomplish
as you move into a healthy productive sober future?

I went back to school....changed jobs....did volunteer service
all sorts of things I desired. This can be true for you too.

Please keep posting....

SoosieQ

Hi Nunya~
I can totally relate to what you are feeling; I'm on day 6 and I'm feeling a little stir crazy. I've been down this road before and I'm consoling myself with the knowledge that it [I]does[I] get easier after a time. I was able to build up a very fulfilling life for myself, without attending AA. Like Carol said, it is good to add new things to your life (new job, school, whatever you desire). It's a great opportunity to build on parts of your life that have been neglected while actively drinking. It's amazing how much time and energy addiction takes up! Good luck to you!

sfgirl

Sounds like you are right where you should be.

When I quit drinking I felt like I was 14 years old in a 26 year old body. Um, now 10 months later I feel 16? 18? Don't worry you grow up but it goes slowly like it should...just try to find a recovery program either AA or one of your own design (I'm a non-AAer) and stay sober and even if and when you don't believe it everything will work out.

Tazman53

What I was going to do sober was my biggest fear of getting sober!

I had no idea how to do anything really without drinking while doing it or before doing it.

What I found was that once I was out of detox and sober I was lost, yes I felt like a child.

I listened to the folks in detox & as they suggested I went to at least 90 AA meetings in 90 days and I got a sponsor.

Due to going to meetings and taking the steps with my sponsor I was set free!!!!

What did I do after I quit drinking? First I went to a ton of AA meetings, those that I did not like I did not go back to, those that I liked I went back to. I got a sponsor and took the steps.

What the above has allowed me to do is to live life on lifes terms one day at a time applying the principles I learned from taking the steps and what I got and get out of meetings.

Today I am FREE!!!! I am free to do every single thing I did while drinking sober and I have discovered that there is a whole world full of things that I could not do while drinking.

I can only share what worked for me, that was AA, but there are other programs out there to, I am not sure if they have parties, dances, and other sober social activities that AA does, but there are more programs then AA.

Sober I live life to its fullest doing anything I wish to do sober and I remember it the next day, I have no embarassing or missing memories from the night before, I do not need to call any one and say I am sorry for what ever.

Waterman

As mentioned by others, you are totally 'normal" in the way you feel. I didn't know what to think, do, feel, say, etc. It is very weird to have these feelings, but they must be dealt with over time. It will get better. Who would have thought alcohol does these things?

1_day@_a_time

1) You could change

2) It's all fear based, we either life a life with love, or fear.

with a spiritual life, anything is possible!