Some Forums or Some Posters Are Sicker Than Others
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Here, Now
Posts: 4,268
Some Forums or Some Posters Are Sicker Than Others
Glad to have the SR Community. This is a response I got on another forum after mentioning that my wife and I were seperating and she had a lawyer, blah,blah, blah. Kind of sharing my pain, fear and confusion and my determination to stay sober. Its a time I can use some support as I am losing my family. Here goes, it kind of knocked my legs out from under me and really took my trust to the bottom.
Mycool – glad you are getting yourself sorted – do you by chance quote all that west coast Buddhist shi*e as much to your wife, as you do on here. It is meaningless and guaranteed to wind anyone up – especially when it is being spouted by a newly sober alki, who is as far from being a rounded human being as it is possible to be.
Ah, the humanity of the fellowship. Namaste to allmy friends here.
Mycool – glad you are getting yourself sorted – do you by chance quote all that west coast Buddhist shi*e as much to your wife, as you do on here. It is meaningless and guaranteed to wind anyone up – especially when it is being spouted by a newly sober alki, who is as far from being a rounded human being as it is possible to be.
Ah, the humanity of the fellowship. Namaste to allmy friends here.
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,910
We have our share of mean people too. I've been accused of being one. 
It's hard to know people very well from just what we read on a message board. We only know what you choose to share and even then, we don't have all the background, etc. The person who wrote that to you probably didn't mean for it to sound quite so rude; at least I hope he/she didn't. I don't ever mean to come across as rude or uncaring, either, but unfortunately, I've been known to come across that way. In any case, I hope you don't obsess over that response. Hopefully you received other responses that were more thoughtful and understanding. If not, maybe you can put that particular person on ignore, if that's an option. Don't let anyone interfere with your sobriety. They're really not worth it.
It's hard to know people very well from just what we read on a message board. We only know what you choose to share and even then, we don't have all the background, etc. The person who wrote that to you probably didn't mean for it to sound quite so rude; at least I hope he/she didn't. I don't ever mean to come across as rude or uncaring, either, but unfortunately, I've been known to come across that way. In any case, I hope you don't obsess over that response. Hopefully you received other responses that were more thoughtful and understanding. If not, maybe you can put that particular person on ignore, if that's an option. Don't let anyone interfere with your sobriety. They're really not worth it.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 23,056
This is a good opportunity to be grateful for the mods and admins who keep SR a safe place 
I've checked out a few other forums, yeah it can be pretty scary out there!
I've checked out a few other forums, yeah it can be pretty scary out there!
Looking For Myself...Sober
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Where the heart is
Posts: 10,209
I dont know..Its hard to call that one if you dont know what they are responding to. IMO.
I get alot of responses I dont like either. And I am positive I have posted my share of em too.
It is hard, Like suki said to really tell how someone means something when there are no expressions or tone.
But then again..Some people just get vibes from things. I know I do alot.
When things make you feel like that. Like its negative and its not helping you. Whether they meant it that way or not. It does come down to how you feel about it.
So that is the time to look to people who you know are going to support you in a way that makes you feel comfortable.
And that ignore button is like that saying.." What you dont know wont hurt you." Kinda button.
I get alot of responses I dont like either. And I am positive I have posted my share of em too.
It is hard, Like suki said to really tell how someone means something when there are no expressions or tone.
But then again..Some people just get vibes from things. I know I do alot.
When things make you feel like that. Like its negative and its not helping you. Whether they meant it that way or not. It does come down to how you feel about it.
So that is the time to look to people who you know are going to support you in a way that makes you feel comfortable.
And that ignore button is like that saying.." What you dont know wont hurt you." Kinda button.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 248
Personally I think it was rude to comment like that. Whatever HP you choose is your personal choice and when a person is down enough you don't have to kick them in the *****s because of their choice of which HP they have. You were looking for support and sure didn't get any from that poster. I would block them.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 146
yea, I'm a member on a handful of other messageboards of various topics, and some are more rough around the edges than others. Some I feel on guard everytime I post anything, lol. But that's cool, I'm in the mood for that sometimes.
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Land of Cotton
Posts: 3,433
I thought the post was VERY rude and uncalled for, no matter what the excuse! I guess I'm sensitive because I am often "attacked" for my spiritual beliefs as well. I have concluded that those are the very people who make me the most comfortable in my faith, as every time it is questioned it provides me with an opportunity to reaffirm.
Best of luck in your recovery.
Namaste.
Best of luck in your recovery.
Namaste.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
I think SR has a very clear sense of it's mission. Like Astro said, we have good mods and admins that understand that vision. Those of us who share those ideals are attracted here and If an online forum works for us, we stay. Jerks like the responder on the other board would not be tolerated long here.
Like the face to face support group I go to... The most important person here is the newcomer.
Mark
Like the face to face support group I go to... The most important person here is the newcomer.
Mark
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Mycool, I'm sorry that happened but grateful that it didn't happen here at SR.
Our rules don't allow members to deliberately hurt other members and should that ever happen here, click on the "report" button and the mods will take care of it.
Ann
Our rules don't allow members to deliberately hurt other members and should that ever happen here, click on the "report" button and the mods will take care of it.
Ann
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Sweden
Posts: 1,649
Wow, that was a pretty ruthless post.
I really like SR because I don't see too many personal attacks here, compared to some other sites I visit.
I also notice that when they occur here, (quite rarely), I see them taken care of very quickly.
Which is a hats off to the mods here, BTW!
I feel very safe here.
To be honest, when I was still drinking, I used to be a poster like that. I posted drunk.
I feel so much regret for some of the posts I made a couple of years ago on another forum. I have made a couple of shares about it in AA and not surprisingly, posting under the influence is pretty common.
And, please keep posting your thoughts about Buddhism! I am trying to incorporate Buddhism into my AA program and I have found the information about Bhuddism here on SR really helpful.
In fact, it was posters like you that pointed me in that direction that I am finding to be of such great help.
I really like SR because I don't see too many personal attacks here, compared to some other sites I visit.
I also notice that when they occur here, (quite rarely), I see them taken care of very quickly.
Which is a hats off to the mods here, BTW!
I feel very safe here.
To be honest, when I was still drinking, I used to be a poster like that. I posted drunk.
I feel so much regret for some of the posts I made a couple of years ago on another forum. I have made a couple of shares about it in AA and not surprisingly, posting under the influence is pretty common.
And, please keep posting your thoughts about Buddhism! I am trying to incorporate Buddhism into my AA program and I have found the information about Bhuddism here on SR really helpful.
In fact, it was posters like you that pointed me in that direction that I am finding to be of such great help.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Here, Now
Posts: 4,268
Thanks all, I feel like I have a home group here and that is important to me. In Buddhism there are 3 jewels, the Buddha (teacher or sponsor), the Dharma (teaching, the path), and Sanga (the fellowship), this is simplified but it applies to the 3 areas one needs in order to progress. I certainly view you all as my Sanga. Namaste (I bow deeply to you). The post was a post, its not about me, I was just fragile and hurt. I'm about moved into my little apartment, I feel hopeful for the future and thanks to you all, sober today.
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