Just a Hello! (and an update)
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 697
Just a Hello! (and an update)
I just wanted to say hi to everyone out there. I lurk once a day (at least) but haven't had a lot to really say over the last few months. I've been dealing with my own issues of trusting my husband again (recovering meth addict). Therapy has been frustrating as I can't seem to find the right fit for me.
My schedule is so incredibly busy (and with my husband working and a 2 year old to take care of) I cannot manage even an hour to attend an alanon or naranon meeting, so I found a few that are offered online through chat rooms. They are useful and convenient.
My husband has been sober for about 18 months. During therapy I learned that he had not been sober as long as I thought, that he had relapsed, but got clean again. I was "off" by 6 months (due to his lies) but I do believe he's been clean these past 18 months.
He's a good father to our daughter. He's changed so many bad habits. He's getting healthy. He was told that he had suffered a heart attack at some point (probably due to drug use) and I think that scared the holy heck out of him.
His dental issues are still a problem. We have $1000 in dental credit that we use up about every 6 months. Pay for a procedure then pay off the card slowly. I know I'm a stinker to say this, but it's a small, devilish consolation that he's suffering a little from his bad decisions. His tooth pain doesn't garner any sympathy from me. That is a wicked confession that I will only tell you all because I have a feeling that some of you will understand.
I've been going through bouts of depression. I've been fighting it and not doing a very good job. I'm not sure what to do since most SSRI medications make my hair fall out! Yuck. I'll explore alternatives if it comes to that. Right now, I'm trying to eat better and exercise and that seems to be helping a lot.
My baby girl is 2! She is amazing. I love being a mom.
It's still a one day at a time thing for me. I no longer search/snoop for evidence of use. I no longer dwell on "what if he's using." I think I've really given it up to God. If he relapses, I'm confident that we both can get through things together as we've really gotten better at communicating and expressing needs/concerns/stresses. We seem to be great pals again.
Still working on the intimacy/romance. My heart is still healing from the betrayals and dishonesty. It's a slow process and I think I'm the kind of person that is very very cautious. I guess that's the capricorn in me: slow and steady wins the race.
Things are steady.
School is good.
Life is getting better.
I just wanted to throw some thanks out to people who have been there for me in the past. I love you all. I think there is hope. I'm more confident every day that he's going to make it. I have hope again. That's the biggest miracle of all for me.
Hang in there. Be strong. Recovery is possible (for addicts and their loved ones). Each day is a miracle.
My schedule is so incredibly busy (and with my husband working and a 2 year old to take care of) I cannot manage even an hour to attend an alanon or naranon meeting, so I found a few that are offered online through chat rooms. They are useful and convenient.
My husband has been sober for about 18 months. During therapy I learned that he had not been sober as long as I thought, that he had relapsed, but got clean again. I was "off" by 6 months (due to his lies) but I do believe he's been clean these past 18 months.
He's a good father to our daughter. He's changed so many bad habits. He's getting healthy. He was told that he had suffered a heart attack at some point (probably due to drug use) and I think that scared the holy heck out of him.
His dental issues are still a problem. We have $1000 in dental credit that we use up about every 6 months. Pay for a procedure then pay off the card slowly. I know I'm a stinker to say this, but it's a small, devilish consolation that he's suffering a little from his bad decisions. His tooth pain doesn't garner any sympathy from me. That is a wicked confession that I will only tell you all because I have a feeling that some of you will understand.
I've been going through bouts of depression. I've been fighting it and not doing a very good job. I'm not sure what to do since most SSRI medications make my hair fall out! Yuck. I'll explore alternatives if it comes to that. Right now, I'm trying to eat better and exercise and that seems to be helping a lot.
My baby girl is 2! She is amazing. I love being a mom.
It's still a one day at a time thing for me. I no longer search/snoop for evidence of use. I no longer dwell on "what if he's using." I think I've really given it up to God. If he relapses, I'm confident that we both can get through things together as we've really gotten better at communicating and expressing needs/concerns/stresses. We seem to be great pals again.
Still working on the intimacy/romance. My heart is still healing from the betrayals and dishonesty. It's a slow process and I think I'm the kind of person that is very very cautious. I guess that's the capricorn in me: slow and steady wins the race.
Things are steady.
School is good.
Life is getting better.
I just wanted to throw some thanks out to people who have been there for me in the past. I love you all. I think there is hope. I'm more confident every day that he's going to make it. I have hope again. That's the biggest miracle of all for me.
Hang in there. Be strong. Recovery is possible (for addicts and their loved ones). Each day is a miracle.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Each day clean IS a miracle and I am so glad for you and for him that miracles are happening in your lives. And your 2 year old baby just adds blessings to the blessings.
Healing can take a long time, but it can and does happen. It took a long time for us to get this way and will probably take a while to heal and feel okay with everything again.
It's so good to hear from you and I hope you'll drop in and share with the newcomers when you get a chance. Your post offers inspiration and hope to people you have never met and it's great when we get to pass it on.
Big Hugs
Healing can take a long time, but it can and does happen. It took a long time for us to get this way and will probably take a while to heal and feel okay with everything again.
It's so good to hear from you and I hope you'll drop in and share with the newcomers when you get a chance. Your post offers inspiration and hope to people you have never met and it's great when we get to pass it on.
Big Hugs
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 1,307
ZW!
That is great!!!! Seeing recovery in both parties makes me feel tingly all over! Although - I know it's not easy.... it sure is inspiring to know that 2 people who love one another are able to share / have their own individual recoveries and still be together! Your recovery btw, is shining!!!!!!
Zombie Wife doesn't feel like such a fitting name for you anymore!
Woohoo to the eating and exercising!!! For the depression... check out the natural alternatives. As for therapy - I've been doing a lot of cognitive therapy and it's been incredibly healing.
I'm a Capricorn too... and I know what you mean about the slow and steady! I tried it with my guy for a year after he relapsed.... and he never got into recovery. I knew I couldn't make him do it - I just had to do my own. And one doing it w/out the the other..... makes for a very miserable way of life. So - I'm not in that life anymore.
Thanks for the update!
xoxo
That is great!!!! Seeing recovery in both parties makes me feel tingly all over! Although - I know it's not easy.... it sure is inspiring to know that 2 people who love one another are able to share / have their own individual recoveries and still be together! Your recovery btw, is shining!!!!!!
Zombie Wife doesn't feel like such a fitting name for you anymore!
Woohoo to the eating and exercising!!! For the depression... check out the natural alternatives. As for therapy - I've been doing a lot of cognitive therapy and it's been incredibly healing.
I'm a Capricorn too... and I know what you mean about the slow and steady! I tried it with my guy for a year after he relapsed.... and he never got into recovery. I knew I couldn't make him do it - I just had to do my own. And one doing it w/out the the other..... makes for a very miserable way of life. So - I'm not in that life anymore.
Thanks for the update!
xoxo
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