determined1

I dont know who will remember me from a few weeks back, I havent been posting but I have been reading every day..quite a bit. I joined July 14th with that being my day 1. I had a few hard days, mostly me obsessing about not drinking and not many physical problems. The worst was sleeping, but I drank tea and took melatonin, and eventually I slept fine. BUT...I did tell myself that I would see if I could be a once a week.. few galsses of wine person. I set my goal for Saturday night, my date night, dinner a few glasses of wine and maybe a movie. So after 5 days of sobriety.. the first Saturday I did just that, dinner and a few glasses. I woke up Sunday feeling somewhat guilty, (granted I didnt get drunk or even feel bad in the morning, just guilt). I went all last week and felt so good, and was really happy, I exercised, slept well, ate well, started taking vitamins, went to the movies with kids, and Saturday had my date night, a few glasses of wine and dinner. I felt guilty again on Sunday.... but have had no urges to drink this week at all. I dont know if I will have my date night on Saturday, but if I do I dont want to feel guilty. I have been afraid to post, bcs of all the other posts about moderation and how it doesnt work, and how we are making excuses for ourselves if we need to reward ourselves on Saturday night....
But my thoughts go to.. is it alright if I can keep it to once a week and a few glasses. I know what a lot of ppl are thinking that once a week will turn to twice a week and then back to every night. I promised myself that I wont do that, and I even talked to my kids about it, so I feel that I wont do it. I have been happier the last few weeks than I can remember being in years. I have had 5 glasses of wine (but whos counting right) in the last 15 days and I am more than proud of myself. That means I have cut out 14 bottles of wine in the last 15 days (but whos counting right). I want to say thanks for all your information ..personal and physical, it has helped me so much. I am taking this one day at a time just like everyone else and trying to figure out whats best for me. I will never go back to the life I had 15 days ago...and dont know if I will even stay a once a weeker, because of the guilt I felt on Sunday....Thanks again and I will keep you posted

tommyk

Keep coming back.

I never enjoyed my drinking when I had to control it. But to each their own.

determined1

To be honest, I enjoyed the wine, but didnt like thinking about the fact that I could only have a few, when I could have really drank 3 or 4 more..and maybe thats what it will take to make me finally say no more...I dont know.
BUT what I can say is that I am so Happy lately..Happier than I have been in years.
Thanks

Sikkisirus

If it works for you then it works for you. And I wish you the best. I drink 3 or 4 nights a week and have done for a while now and haven't returned to the mess I was in my 20's. (And man I was a mess). I have more things to think on now other than booze. I no longer obssess over it. Don't get me wrong, on my drinking nights I drink heavily but I wake up (or come around) hungry not for more alcohol but for a bacon sarnie.
Be careful tho, its a very slippery slope so I wish you the best

Dee74

Hi determined,
Pardon the pun, but only you can determine whats right for you.

I remember when you came here tho.

Drinking caused you, and others, a lot of pain and trouble - I'm glad you're doing ok...but why would you want to drink, at all, now?

D

MycoolFitz

To each his own, all my best. I used to control my drinking off and on for long periods of time and then wham, down I'd go. For me, life is so much better, more free, easier. Its just a lot more of everything good drinking nothing than drinking controlled or out of control. Hope you make it, you might end up in Who's Who.

vicarious

If you discover that you are unable to keep the promise you made to yourself and find that you are drinking more than you feel you should and that it is making your life more difficult...

Don't beat yourself up and continue to come back here. No one will berate you for needing more support because most of us have been where you are or worse.

So, take care of yourself, and if it is making you feel bad and you're finding yourself obsessing about when you get to have those glasses of wine, then suffering guilt afterwards and you want out of that cycle, you already know where to start. And if it turns out to not be a burden on your mind, then enjoy yourself.

Either way, be well.

smacked

I've tried it too, never worked. I was able to, but I would have rather been drunk all the time than try to control it. The beauty of not drinking anymore is I never have to think about it, no guilt, no nothing. But that's me..

As for bringing the kids into it, please stop that.. They are not responsible for any part of your 'guilt' or your sobriety, please don't put them in the position to be, even if they don't know they are. A lot of people use kids as a reason to stay sober, not as a rationalization to keep on drinking.

To each his own.

Zencat

Kudos on you courage to post whats going with you today. Only you and you alone will know what will become. I would suggest that curtailing your alcohol consumption is a good start...with total abstinence in mind that is.

I heard all the good advice and cautions from my my fellows in recovery about what was what to do...yet the decision was mime and mine alone. For me I had to find out...and that took lots of experience.

Keep posting your progress or failures...it all matters.

Wolfchild

If your not ready to begin a new way of life, then your not ready.
No judgement, no opinion, no condemnation. Good luck & be well.