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Hi, I'm Tryingforhim

Old 07-28-2009, 07:09 AM
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Hi, I'm Tryingforhim

I posted here years ago but I couldn't remember my user name. I posted how much I drank and wondered how much effect it would have on my liver and was scared to see a doctor. Well this past November I started having extremely violent dizzy spells to the point of almost passing out. I was forced to find a doctor and was fortunate to find someone I really like.

My blood pressure was through the roof. 180/120. I was immediately put on medication and he did blood tests on my everything including my liver as I was completely honest with him about my drinking. He asked if I wanted to stop, I told him I wanted to get control. He gave me a mild sedative to help with the withdrawals and told me not to quit cold turkey. I haven't been able to quit at all. I've gained about 60lbs and I was overweight to begin with. My hip went on me a few weeks ago and I was off work for 3 weeks.

I don't feel healthy at all. I'm 43 with a 14 year old boy. I want to see him grow up so I'm trying for him. Tonight I will have a glass or two of wine and one of the sedatives and try and ween myself off. I had been seeing my doctor regularly but he's on vacation for the month of August.

The trouble is that I like drinking but it's affecting and my finances and without either of them under control I'm not much good to my son. I hope I can do this.
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Old 07-28-2009, 07:37 AM
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Welcome back to SR, I hope you find long-term sobriety and a plan for your recovery.

I'm 45, my kids are 11 & 13. I loved drinking. What I didn't care for was destroying two marriages, losing my home, giving up the right to see my children, and losing the trust of my spouses, friends, and family. This disease can be devastating if not deadly.

Trust me, it is possible to have an amazing life without drinking, you can be the parent every child deserves to have, you'll have a life beyond your wildest dreams and expectations.
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Old 07-28-2009, 07:38 AM
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Originally Posted by Astro View Post
Welcome back to SR, I hope you find long-term sobriety and a plan for your recovery.

I'm 45, my kids are 11 & 13. I loved drinking. What I didn't care for was destroying two marriages, losing my home, giving up the right to see my children, and losing the trust of my spouses, friends, and family. This disease can be devastating if not deadly.

Trust me, it is possible to have an amazing life without drinking, you can be the parent every child deserves to have, you'll have a life beyond your wildest dreams and expectations.
Wow ! That's quite an endorsement.
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Old 07-28-2009, 07:40 AM
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Sorry meant to say it's "affecting my HEALTH and my finances"
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Old 07-28-2009, 07:46 AM
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Oh I understood. It can affect MUCH more than that!
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Old 07-28-2009, 07:49 AM
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The point ian't about liking alcohol, of course you do, you're an alcoholic. Do you like the fact that your drinking is ruining your life and probably the childhood of your son? Read the facts, your drinking greatly increases the risk for your child to become a problem drinker plus develop other disorders. I lost my childhood because of my father's drinking. Perhaps you should begin the true process of recovery for yourself and those you love. You might want to think about professional help for detoxing. I've know people who "tapered" off for years. All my best.
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Old 07-28-2009, 07:56 AM
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Originally Posted by MycoolFitz View Post
The point ian't about liking alcohol, of course you do, you're an alcoholic. Do you like the fact that your drinking is ruining your life and probably the childhood of your son? Read the facts, your drinking greatly increases the risk for your child to become a problem drinker plus develop other disorders. I lost my childhood because of my father's drinking. Perhaps you should begin the true process of recovery for yourself and those you love. You might want to think about professional help for detoxing. I've know people who "tapered" off for years. All my best.
Thanks, I don't know that it's ruining his childhood. I sure it will be better once I stop. He's never seen me drunk, I don't drink during the day and until recently I had little more than a couple of drinks at all when he was with me. I drink mostly at night before bed. Of course when he's not with me I'm out every night having 7 or 8 pints of beer then home to finish off a quart of whiskey but when he's there, none of that. I am a doting loving father and he is the be all and end all to me.

Everynight since he was old enough to talk our nightly ritual has been.

Me - "Do you know how much love you"
Him - "More than anything the universe"
Me - "What's the best thing to ever happen to me"
Him - "Me"

But financially I'm barely hanging on. I'm behind in rent, in car payments and other stuff. This is the first year we haven't been able to go back to my hometown. There were other circumstances besides the drinking contributing to this like being off work for 3 weeks but I suppose that could be from the drinking too.
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Old 07-28-2009, 08:03 AM
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Good luck quitting. I've got over two months, and it feels good. I can't imagine how much worse my financial problems would be if I had been drinking over this time. Sometimes not having money is a blessing -- it keeps me from drinking.
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Old 07-28-2009, 09:17 AM
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You know I thought I loved drinking for many years until I became a slave to alcohol! The last 5 years of my drinking I did not draw a sober breath.

The thrill was gone and I had to drink even when I did not want to drink. I was on the verge of losing it all and dying a slow death from alcoholism. I saw a doctor who put me into detox. In detox they told me if I wanted long term sobriety to go to 90+ AA meetings in 90 days & get a sponsor.

Well I went to AA and got a sponsor, I took the 12 steps with my sponsor and by applying thos steps to all my affairs, I have fallen in love with sobriety!

Drinking was all about ME!!!! Drinking was for quite a few years before alcohol took over my life all about making ME feel good, to hell with the world!

I have found that in sobriety that joy is not all about me feeling good, but instead it is about being able to help others to enjoy thier lifes as I enjoy mine!
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Old 07-28-2009, 09:37 AM
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Welcome to SR tryingforhim.
One of the biggest regrets I have in my life is the time my drinking and not being 100% because of my drinking took away from the time I should have spent with my kids. They are grown up now and I can't get that back.
I am glad you are quitting and if you get the urge to drink just remember your username and come here and someone will likely talk you out of it.
Good luck on your journey.
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Old 07-28-2009, 10:00 AM
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Originally Posted by Fubarcdn View Post
Welcome to SR tryingforhim.
One of the biggest regrets I have in my life is the time my drinking and not being 100% because of my drinking took away from the time I should have spent with my kids. They are grown up now and I can't get that back.
I am glad you are quitting and if you get the urge to drink just remember your username and come here and someone will likely talk you out of it.
Good luck on your journey.

Thanks, I see we live in the same city.
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Old 07-28-2009, 10:10 AM
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I remind myself often that although my kids benefit from my recovery, I'm doing this for myself and not for anyone else. If I don't have my sobriety and a healthy lifestyle, I'm no good to my friends & family.

This is from my daily meditations I receive via email, I think it says it much better than I can.....

Teach me, my God and King,
In all things thee to see,
And what I do in anything,
To do it as for thee.
--George Herbert


Some of us have gone through life unconsciously expecting others to bring us happiness, to make our dreams come true, and to make us feel good about ourselves. When nothing seems to be going well for us, we blame it on the lack of external support - we're not in a serious relationship, we don't like our job, we don't have the money to venture into our own business.

When we change our perspective - when we know and trust that we are responsible for our happiness, our dreams, and our feelings - we become empowered. No longer is the burden on someone or something that is either unreliable or nonexistent. We'd been giving this power to others; now it's time to take it back, to make and be responsible for our own choices, to value our opinions, and to respect our intellect.



Today I will give myself credit for all I am capable of, financially and otherwise.
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Old 07-28-2009, 10:14 AM
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Hello and welcome to the SR community.

i hope you eventually realize that there are spiritual solutions
available to help with your problems and to guide you thru life.
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Old 07-28-2009, 10:15 AM
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I would get a new doctor that actually knows something about addiction.
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Old 07-28-2009, 10:18 AM
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Originally Posted by smacked View Post
I would get a new doctor that actually knows something about addiction.


I don't think I've told you anything about this Dr for you to come to that sort of conclusion.
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Old 07-28-2009, 10:21 AM
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Originally Posted by Wolfchild View Post
Hello and welcome to the SR community.

i hope you eventually realize that there are spiritual solutions
available to help with your problems and to guide you thru life.

See that's a bit of an issue with me. My Dad went to AA and I used to go with him sometimes. I don't mean to offend anyone but I don't believe in God and it's kept me from trying the AA thing because they really seem to push it.

Again, I'm sorry if I offend anyone.
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Old 07-28-2009, 10:25 AM
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I'm not offended when someone doesn't believe in God. I can only share my experience......nobody in AA ever tried to shove their God down my throat. It's not a religious program, it's a spiritual program, there is a difference.

Either way, the only thing that matters is finding something that'll work for you, a plan or program for your recovery. Doing it on my own didn't work, I had to find someone or something to reach out to for help and support. I just happened to find AA and a God of my understanding, and it worked.
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Old 07-28-2009, 10:32 AM
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Tryingforhim a belief in God has nothing to do with achieving and maintaining sobriety...why would it? It is simply one tool that some people utilize in their journey.
Change is necessary.....finding tools that resonate with you. Stick around and reach out for help.
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Old 07-28-2009, 10:36 AM
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Originally Posted by Astro View Post
I'm not offended when someone doesn't believe in God. I can only share my experience......nobody in AA ever tried to shove their God down my throat. It's not a religious program, it's a spiritual program, there is a difference.

Either way, the only thing that matters is finding something that'll work for you, a plan or program for your recovery. Doing it on my own didn't work, I had to find someone or something to reach out to for help and support. I just happened to find AA and a God of my understanding, and it worked.
A local radio personality who has a show about addiction and recovery told me the same thing to make it a God of my understanding. He gave me a contact as well if I want to start going. I still have it in my wallet.
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Old 07-28-2009, 10:59 AM
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Originally Posted by Tryingforhim View Post
I don't think I've told you anything about this Dr for you to come to that sort of conclusion.

You're right. You were honest with your doctor who asked you if you wanted to quit, and then prescribed you sedatives that you're still taking along with the alcohol. Detoxing from alcohol typically takes a few days with meds and NO alcohol. Meds are usually given to take because of the withdrawal, in my experience and it's unfortunately lengthy and thorough. You have gained a bunch of weight and report feeling very unhealthy. Drinking, and now on pills.

I didn't see this as a good result, but maybe it is for you.

Carry on Good luck.
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