Relapses...How do I deal with it?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Richmond, VA
Posts: 3
Relapses...How do I deal with it?
My story:
My first drink was at the age of 17 (of course it was a binge drinking). Then I didn't really drink much.
Then college happened at the age of 18. I became a binge drinker during the weekends for the first year (including summers). Second year and third year, it was binge drinking on 3-4 days a week.
At the beginning of my senior year, I drank a lot one night and tried to go home on a bicycle. As I tried to ride the bicycle, I fell on the bike handle. This led to a major surgery (I made it to the hospital on time otherwise I wouldn't be writing this).
I gave up drinking for about 6 months. Then this was the first time I started to drink by myself (I guess I missed the feeling of being intoxicated). I drink drink often, probably once a week, sometimes twice. This gradually led to heavy drinking, at least four days a week. After a year, it was so bad that I drank 6 days a week (heavy drinking) for three-four months, all this time by myself.
Once again, I gave up for three months but then I started again. Again heavy drinking for 6 days a week for six months.
Then DUI happened. I was stunned and I gave up drinking. It has been almost five months since I had my last drink but the urge is coming back.
What do I do? I know my drinking hurts my family and friends but I keep getting the urge to be intoxicated. Why?
Any help would be appreciated. Let me know how you FIGHT the urges to drink.
My first drink was at the age of 17 (of course it was a binge drinking). Then I didn't really drink much.
Then college happened at the age of 18. I became a binge drinker during the weekends for the first year (including summers). Second year and third year, it was binge drinking on 3-4 days a week.
At the beginning of my senior year, I drank a lot one night and tried to go home on a bicycle. As I tried to ride the bicycle, I fell on the bike handle. This led to a major surgery (I made it to the hospital on time otherwise I wouldn't be writing this).
I gave up drinking for about 6 months. Then this was the first time I started to drink by myself (I guess I missed the feeling of being intoxicated). I drink drink often, probably once a week, sometimes twice. This gradually led to heavy drinking, at least four days a week. After a year, it was so bad that I drank 6 days a week (heavy drinking) for three-four months, all this time by myself.
Once again, I gave up for three months but then I started again. Again heavy drinking for 6 days a week for six months.
Then DUI happened. I was stunned and I gave up drinking. It has been almost five months since I had my last drink but the urge is coming back.
What do I do? I know my drinking hurts my family and friends but I keep getting the urge to be intoxicated. Why?
Any help would be appreciated. Let me know how you FIGHT the urges to drink.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Here, Now
Posts: 4,268
You're doing it. Reach out for help and support, the bravest thing we can do. It took me years of ruining my life and those that I loved and lost tofind this out. Check around for AA meetings, consult your family doctor, check with a substance abuse professional, seek out sober family and friends, keep reading and posting, don't pickupand don't give up.
Why? You likely have a disease. Its primary, progressive, chronic and fataluntreated. It involves neurbiological changes to the mid cortex of the brain which basically sends out messages to the survival part of your system that says "drink or die. You need to not pick up and don't pickup and don't pickup. The neuroplacity of the brain will repair itself, the cravings will die down, you'll return to sanity through sobriety one day at a time. It works, there's living proof all around you. We are survivors of the dis ease. All my best to you. Namaste
Why? You likely have a disease. Its primary, progressive, chronic and fataluntreated. It involves neurbiological changes to the mid cortex of the brain which basically sends out messages to the survival part of your system that says "drink or die. You need to not pick up and don't pickup and don't pickup. The neuroplacity of the brain will repair itself, the cravings will die down, you'll return to sanity through sobriety one day at a time. It works, there's living proof all around you. We are survivors of the dis ease. All my best to you. Namaste
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 4,682
What i have realised after 20 years of drinking, starting the same way as you with the same periods of trying to fight using willpower is that you are not fighting the alcohol or the bottle but yourself. This means that it is you that wants a drink and you that doesn't want you to drink, unfortunately the you that wants a drink is a sneaky, lying ****** and knows you inside out and will use all of your emotions and thoughts to get you to take that first drink. Only by getting resources in place to help the you that does not want you to drink is it possible to quiet the other you...i've just got into AA...but wouldn't of at your age, hope you have the balls to get your ass down there for a few months and listen and ask for help:-)
Point is it is a fight you cannot win by yourself in my experience as setting a regime similar to a day in the army for the rest of your life to avoid drinking is not really living is it?!
Point is it is a fight you cannot win by yourself in my experience as setting a regime similar to a day in the army for the rest of your life to avoid drinking is not really living is it?!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
The only real way I know to win is to stop drinking. You've got that down Vhinrich 
I dunno about you, but what I failed to realise then is that's just the first step.
I was simply an alcoholic who didn't drink.
I had to make some changes in my life - lose some drinking buddies, find better ways to deal with stress, reach out to people more, try and live a less self absorbed life...
That was me anyway...anything you can think of to healthily fill that hole that drinking leaves behind is good.
Change who you are - for the better. Otherwise it can turn out all we are is alcoholics waiting for a good enough reason to drink again.
The good news is noone has to do this alone.
Like Suki said, face to face support like AA helps many here. SR is a great site too - you'll find a lot of support and encouragement here as well.
Welcome!
D
I dunno about you, but what I failed to realise then is that's just the first step.
I was simply an alcoholic who didn't drink.
I had to make some changes in my life - lose some drinking buddies, find better ways to deal with stress, reach out to people more, try and live a less self absorbed life...
That was me anyway...anything you can think of to healthily fill that hole that drinking leaves behind is good.
Change who you are - for the better. Otherwise it can turn out all we are is alcoholics waiting for a good enough reason to drink again.
The good news is noone has to do this alone.
Like Suki said, face to face support like AA helps many here. SR is a great site too - you'll find a lot of support and encouragement here as well.
Welcome!
D
Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Europe
Posts: 1,361
take one day at a time....try to be kind to yourself....i've been a major relapser myself for several years...i used to punish myself after every relapse, but that caused me to feel even worse about myself. Visit SR often, read the stories and go to the AA if it is available for you.
You are five months sober!!! Be @#$@#$ proud at yourself!!!
life is intoxicating enough as it is...
You are five months sober!!! Be @#$@#$ proud at yourself!!!
life is intoxicating enough as it is...
Awaiting Email Confirmation
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 2,942
I've discovered that many people cannot simply abstain from alcohol and go on with life.
Many people need to add other activities to their lives to maintain long term sobriety.
Socializing with people in the AA program is one such activity.
If your efforts to remain sober aren't successful, check out help from AA people.
Keep coming back.
Many people need to add other activities to their lives to maintain long term sobriety.
Socializing with people in the AA program is one such activity.
If your efforts to remain sober aren't successful, check out help from AA people.
Keep coming back.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,504
I'm glad you're doing well.
I would ask you what else you have changed in your life, besides stopping drinking?
In my opinion, drinking is the symptom, and recovery means dealing with the underlying issues. Also, what do you do on a daily basis to help your recovery. I need to have physical exercise of some kind every day. I also need some time alone, to just 'be'. I come here to SR every day to read and be inspired.
You do not need to relapse again! You can do this!
I would ask you what else you have changed in your life, besides stopping drinking?
In my opinion, drinking is the symptom, and recovery means dealing with the underlying issues. Also, what do you do on a daily basis to help your recovery. I need to have physical exercise of some kind every day. I also need some time alone, to just 'be'. I come here to SR every day to read and be inspired.
You do not need to relapse again! You can do this!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 237
I dont think I could have given up drinking properly until therapy. I spent 5 months in therapy with a great woman who helped me to see things more clearly and get a better sense of myself and who I am. I decided to quit drinking after dealing with alot of issues from my past and learning to be good to myself.
Its not for everyone but I think if you are finding yourself returning to the drink time and time again there may be some underlying issues that you might want to take a look at. I know that therapy seems duanting for many of us but it soooo worthwhile. After I finished therapy I felt strong enough to quit booze (I was a binge drinker too)
Its not for everyone but I think if you are finding yourself returning to the drink time and time again there may be some underlying issues that you might want to take a look at. I know that therapy seems duanting for many of us but it soooo worthwhile. After I finished therapy I felt strong enough to quit booze (I was a binge drinker too)
Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 6
this board has really helped me to understand the beauty of the 12 step thang .. even though I have not even taken part of it! I can still feel it and excited to start.
lets be honest drinking feels good and taste good BUT ... if it ruins your life then it needs to be left out so you can enjoy all the other blessings we have been left to marvel at!
suck part is that every time you turn on the TV or go to the restaurant ect ect the **** is staring you down!
you can look at it and take pitty on yourself or you can use it for empowerment.
the margarita looks good but you know what F'that .. it's poison and im not going to let that control me POW~~~~ who's the man now!
it's a blessing we have so many like us and we can all share a REAL BLESSING!
lets be honest drinking feels good and taste good BUT ... if it ruins your life then it needs to be left out so you can enjoy all the other blessings we have been left to marvel at!
suck part is that every time you turn on the TV or go to the restaurant ect ect the **** is staring you down!
you can look at it and take pitty on yourself or you can use it for empowerment.
the margarita looks good but you know what F'that .. it's poison and im not going to let that control me POW~~~~ who's the man now!
it's a blessing we have so many like us and we can all share
a REAL BLESSING!
Disposable Hero
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Being, ME
Posts: 3,758
i do not fight anymore.
i surrender to my Higher Power
and keep my life moving forward.
i have learned how to stay stopped
by being completely willing to accept
help from recovering alcoholics & addicts.
Why not go to an A.A. or N.A. meeting today
and begin finding out how to to be abstinent?
i surrender to my Higher Power
and keep my life moving forward.
i have learned how to stay stopped
by being completely willing to accept
help from recovering alcoholics & addicts.
Why not go to an A.A. or N.A. meeting today
and begin finding out how to to be abstinent?
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