luvmybf

I came her to talk about my AA bf but after reading some posts I realize that I really need to talk about my mother's addiction. I plan on finding a meeting but it feels good to just spill it here. I've pushed my feeling about this back for so long and just dismissed them...grown hard from it..."I just don't care anymore." But I do care...I'm MAD! I'm angry she has picked drugs and alcohol over me, my son, my brother, my grandma....everyone! She ruined by childhood. I remember having a good mother at one point and time. I look at pictures and remember my beautiful, healthy, funny, loving mother and look at her now with her bad teeth, scarred skin, crap clothes, and droopy eyelids and I don't understand how anyone could do this to themselves. She had so much and she drank it and smoked it all away. She has nothing now. She got her 2nd DUI when I was 16 and I had to drive her around everywhere and evenutally lost her job a year later...she's been jobless ever since. Moving around, homeless sometimes, stealing, living off disablity, countless broken promises. Has called me every name in the book, pushed me when I was pregnant. Told me she hates me, then calls crying to say she loves me.

Needless to say, she needs help. Not just for her addictions but for things that happened to her as a child that she still fights with and suffers from depression because of. I wish I could fix her, I wish I could have my beautiful loving mother back...the one that would sit and laugh with me all night long, the one I could tell everything to. She's my mother, she gave birth to me, I was her first baby...why can't she get the help she needs!!!???

I Corinthians 10:12-13
12 Therefore let him who thinks he stands be careful that he doesn’t fall.
13 No temptation has taken you except what is common to man. God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted above what you are able, but will with the temptation also make the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.

GiveLove

We all wish our addicted loved one could be taken in to the shop and "rewired" so that their addiction would stop destroying them. It's horrible to watch someone we care about self-destruct like this.

I was furious at my parents for all the things they did because of their addictions, but willingly got involved with a string of addicted boyfriends who lied to me, stole from me, abused me on many levels. For them, I would do anything. How does THAT make sense?

Counseling helped me to unravel that whole mess and get my life back on track...I can't recommend it highly enough.