He didnīt remember my bday
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 13
He didnīt remember my bday
Hello to everybody
I guess I just need to vent. Today is my bday and my STBEXAH didnīt even say anything... I mean I was expecting at least a little note, I donīt really know why but I did...and he didnīt and I donīt know why I feel so sad if after all we are separated for more than 2 months now.
How do I get over him for real? Is this feeling something that happen to other people?
Thanks for listening
I guess I just need to vent. Today is my bday and my STBEXAH didnīt even say anything... I mean I was expecting at least a little note, I donīt really know why but I did...and he didnīt and I donīt know why I feel so sad if after all we are separated for more than 2 months now.
How do I get over him for real? Is this feeling something that happen to other people?
Thanks for listening
Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 2,582
My exabf and I split before his brithday and the holidays (friends for 12 years and dating for 4). I said nothing to him. He and I have no contact and he said nothing to me on my birthday this spring.
I am sorry that it is sad. Maybe in the future you can communicate with thoughtfulness, but maybe now is too soon. You both are probably licking wounds and holidays and birthdays open those up sometimes.
I am sorry that it is sad. Maybe in the future you can communicate with thoughtfulness, but maybe now is too soon. You both are probably licking wounds and holidays and birthdays open those up sometimes.
A jug fills drop by drop
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
Margareta, first of all HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! I know you have made the life of many people joyful and I hope you remember everybody who loves you, close friends, family, coworkers and everyone who has been special in your life.
Its possible he remembered your bday but thought he would hurt you more and decided against it. You don't know what he thinks or feels...
The "firsts" after a loss are a drag. It will get easier with time. During my birthday coworkers were congratulating me, hugging me, etc while the ex just watched from a distance and turned his head back. Ouch...
When my feelings get too overwhelming, I hand them to God/HP.... all the best to you!
Its possible he remembered your bday but thought he would hurt you more and decided against it. You don't know what he thinks or feels...
The "firsts" after a loss are a drag. It will get easier with time. During my birthday coworkers were congratulating me, hugging me, etc while the ex just watched from a distance and turned his head back. Ouch...
When my feelings get too overwhelming, I hand them to God/HP.... all the best to you!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Boston
Posts: 2,936
Hey!!!
:day
Well it's your first separated birthday - a new birth a new life for YOU!! Not without struggle or sadness naturally, but with joy as well.
Give yourself a little present:
Grant yourself the serenity to accept the things you cannot change, courage to change the things you can, and the wisdom to know the difference!!!!!!!!!
peace-
b
:day
Well it's your first separated birthday - a new birth a new life for YOU!! Not without struggle or sadness naturally, but with joy as well.
Give yourself a little present:
Grant yourself the serenity to accept the things you cannot change, courage to change the things you can, and the wisdom to know the difference!!!!!!!!!
peace-
b
Forum Leader
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: In my little piece of heaven
Posts: 2,870
Happy happy day! I hope you' were able to do something nice for yourself today. As TakingCharge99 said, the firsts are difficult after a loss. I learned to prepare in advance when a special day was coming up so that I would be around good friends and able to start some new traditions.
I'm glad you came here and let us know. Reaching out is always a good thing.
Cats
I'm glad you came here and let us know. Reaching out is always a good thing.
Cats
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 646
Originally Posted by Margareta 
How do I get over him for real? Is this feeling something that happen to other people
How did I get over him? Individual therapy, reading here, reading books pertaining to me and our issues, and just plain old time.
I am so much healthier and happier now than I was 1 year ago.
Happy Birthday to you!
9
Curled up in a good book...
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 1,542
:day1
Hope you have a great day!
Now you know what to expect. No birthday card, no Christmas card etc. My STBXAH's birthday was a few months after he left (almost a year ago now) - I sent a card. I also sent a Christmas card. I should really have saved myself the cost of a stamp. He didn't bother reciprocating. At least now you know how it will be and can let it go.
I can only second what Chrysalis says - reading, learning, counselling and posting all help. We were together 18 years and my life is so much better without him in it. There is light at the end of the tunnel! You can do it!
Hope you have a great day!
Now you know what to expect. No birthday card, no Christmas card etc. My STBXAH's birthday was a few months after he left (almost a year ago now) - I sent a card. I also sent a Christmas card. I should really have saved myself the cost of a stamp. He didn't bother reciprocating. At least now you know how it will be and can let it go.
I can only second what Chrysalis says - reading, learning, counselling and posting all help. We were together 18 years and my life is so much better without him in it. There is light at the end of the tunnel! You can do it!
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 1,636
Happy Birthday!!!!!
If he really didn't remember, then you have 1 more reason to be grateful and relieved he's a soon-to-be-EX.......
....and if he did and just didn't acknowledge out of spite, then personally, if I were you, I'd make d*mn-sure I had an extra-good day just to spite him back!!!!!!
Have a VERY VERY HAPPY birthday!
freya
P.S. Next relationship, you might find it helpful to give the guy little "hints" in advance of things you'd like him to remember. There seems to be something about (many) guys' brains that can remember the exact details of every goal scored by their favorite sportsmen, but can't remember important relatives' and friends' important dates. However, they can be re-trained, if you go about it properly!!!!!! (New technology, like i-phones and blackberries, can be very helpful in this regard!) I, on the other hand, can't even remember which of the "guys'" in my life's favorite teams are baseball, or football, or w-h-a-t-e-v-e-r, and, really, they don't seem to like that very much either -- but they don't take it personally!
If he really didn't remember, then you have 1 more reason to be grateful and relieved he's a soon-to-be-EX.......
....and if he did and just didn't acknowledge out of spite, then personally, if I were you, I'd make d*mn-sure I had an extra-good day just to spite him back!!!!!!
Have a VERY VERY HAPPY birthday!
freya
P.S. Next relationship, you might find it helpful to give the guy little "hints" in advance of things you'd like him to remember. There seems to be something about (many) guys' brains that can remember the exact details of every goal scored by their favorite sportsmen, but can't remember important relatives' and friends' important dates. However, they can be re-trained, if you go about it properly!!!!!! (New technology, like i-phones and blackberries, can be very helpful in this regard!) I, on the other hand, can't even remember which of the "guys'" in my life's favorite teams are baseball, or football, or w-h-a-t-e-v-e-r, and, really, they don't seem to like that very much either -- but they don't take it personally!
Last edited by freya; 07-24-2009 at 08:28 AM.
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