My first AA meeting
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Surrey, UK
Posts: 99
My first AA meeting
God I have been dreading this, promising my counsellor and myself every week that I'd go.
Tonight I forced myself to go to the location 2 hours early, right after work so I wouldn't go home and 'forget' to go. I mooched about the car park for ages, sweating, breathing hard. My Anxiety was through the roof. About 10 minutes before it started I swung round the corner to the entrance and walked into loads of people hanging out the front. I was so self concious but immediately a couple of people warmly introduced themselves. I sat by myself for the duration just taking it all in. A woman gave a very moving 'share' and was followed by loads of people just taking it in turns to open up about stuff.
I hung around long enough to have a quick chat with a couple of people, to a person they are all very kind and sympathetic. I didn't elaborate when asked why I was here, just said 'the usual ****' and they nodded wisely.
I saw the value of these meetings to these people, the community, the strength of shared experience, the honesty.
Will I go back? Of course. My curiosity hasn't been satisfied yet. In fact it's increased massively.
All this was just a couple of hours ago. My future is still massively unknown. Will I continue or won't I? Hell; will I even quit drinking? I think the ansswer to that question came a little closer tonight.
If you are considering AA, do what I have just done. JUST GO!
Peace
Tonight I forced myself to go to the location 2 hours early, right after work so I wouldn't go home and 'forget' to go. I mooched about the car park for ages, sweating, breathing hard. My Anxiety was through the roof. About 10 minutes before it started I swung round the corner to the entrance and walked into loads of people hanging out the front. I was so self concious but immediately a couple of people warmly introduced themselves. I sat by myself for the duration just taking it all in. A woman gave a very moving 'share' and was followed by loads of people just taking it in turns to open up about stuff.
I hung around long enough to have a quick chat with a couple of people, to a person they are all very kind and sympathetic. I didn't elaborate when asked why I was here, just said 'the usual ****' and they nodded wisely.
I saw the value of these meetings to these people, the community, the strength of shared experience, the honesty.
Will I go back? Of course. My curiosity hasn't been satisfied yet. In fact it's increased massively.
All this was just a couple of hours ago. My future is still massively unknown. Will I continue or won't I? Hell; will I even quit drinking? I think the ansswer to that question came a little closer tonight.
If you are considering AA, do what I have just done. JUST GO!
Peace
Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 17
It's awesome that you have found help.
For some reason I am under the impression that I am the only 'victim' and it would be impossible for me to find help.
I drink a lot, but I don't nail spirits at all, so I think subconciously that because I drink copius amounts of lager I am excluded from the 'I need help' circle.
Perhaps this is the place for me to come to terms with that.
For some reason I am under the impression that I am the only 'victim' and it would be impossible for me to find help.
I drink a lot, but I don't nail spirits at all, so I think subconciously that because I drink copius amounts of lager I am excluded from the 'I need help' circle.
Perhaps this is the place for me to come to terms with that.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 23,051
Hudstar, thanks for sharing this, it's a powerful message about AA. It's not for everyone, but it's not a religious cult and it does work! I hope you continue to find it a positive experience.
Glad you are more interested in it
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