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Went to a Party

Old 07-20-2009, 08:11 PM
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Went to a Party

I just moved to a new city and went to a party where I only knew the hosts. Yes there was alcohol. Everyone was drinking. I (yay!) was not. It was weird though in that everyone was kind of standoffish of me at first. It seemed to make them uncomfortable that I didn't want a drink (that had alcohol in it).

Has anyone else ever gotten this vibe for people? They weren't pushing me to drink, but I got the vibe that they thought I was a bit odd....
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Old 07-20-2009, 08:21 PM
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Originally Posted by rider View Post
I just moved to a new city and went to a party where I only knew the hosts. Yes there was alcohol. Everyone was drinking. I (yay!) was not. It was weird though in that everyone was kind of standoffish of me at first. It seemed to make them uncomfortable that I didn't want a drink (that had alcohol in it).

Has anyone else ever gotten this vibe for people? They weren't pushing me to drink, but I got the vibe that they thought I was a bit odd....
I used to feel that way. I soon realized it was mostly me that was feeling that way. It will get easier but if you're new in your recovery i would suggest not attending too many of these type of get togethers.
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Old 07-20-2009, 08:43 PM
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Yeah, Tim, I struggled as to whether to go or not as I was feeling a little fragile, but as I really don't know anyone here in this city it was a tossup between staying home and being lonesome or meeting some new friends. It all worked out well. I had a GR8 time and didn't have to worry about drinking and driving!
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Old 07-20-2009, 08:48 PM
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Yeah I'd agree that I don't have much interest now in going to parties where alcohol is the main event, there are way too many fun things to do that don't involve alcohol, and most of those things I do with new friends in recovery.

I've also found that if I'm going to a private party where booze is being served, I can show up with my own bottled drink or a glass of something non-alcoholic, and I'll nurse it. Rarely am I questioned about wanting another drink.
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Old 07-20-2009, 08:59 PM
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I have felt that I stood out because I was not drinking.

After I'd managed to put together some contiguous sobriety, I began to notice that plenty others weren't drinking either. I realize now that the vast majority of people don't drink the way I used to and that most don't drink much at all.

I now think that my earlier feelings of alienation were my pesky mid-brain trying to talk me into taking a drink. I've come to learn that he's rather predictable that way.
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Old 07-20-2009, 09:13 PM
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Originally Posted by fulminouscherub View Post
I have felt that I stood out because I was not drinking.

After I'd managed to put together some contiguous sobriety, I began to notice that plenty others weren't drinking either. I realize now that the vast majority of people don't drink the way I used to and that most don't drink much at all.

I now think that my earlier feelings of alienation were my pesky mid-brain trying to talk me into taking a drink. I've come to learn that he's rather predictable that way.
i totally agree about the pesky mid-brain. i had to fight that a little bit. but i found if i just started talking to someone who was slightly drunk it reminded me in spades why i was choosing not to drink. drinking does NOT enhance me in any way, shape, or form (or anyone for that matter) as much as i used to like to think so.
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Old 07-20-2009, 10:00 PM
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Yeah, personally for me I can't do parties for where I am at in my sobriety. Any time I have gotten close my stomach starts turning and I will give anything for a few drinks. Truthfully thought I don't have much desire for those kinds of social events if I am not drinking. This is just me though, you sound like you may be able to handle it ok. I think is best to have a good reason to be there and be careful.
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Old 07-21-2009, 08:06 AM
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Hi Rider,
I am new to this forum today and this is my first post. I had 7 months sober a few days ago. I stopped drinking just before Christmas last year and a bunch of friends had a new years eve party where it was an open bar. At the time (about a week dry), I did not feel comfortable going to a party like that. Since then, I've been to a few parties and even had one myself with a keg! I've found that you have to be honest with yourself and if you are not sure if you are ready for a social situation then you probably aren't. I've decided not to make a big issue of not drinking and most of my friends don't know that I am not drinking, I just have iced tea or soda in my cup instead of beer or wine. I've also had a pretty good time -and I rememer everything the next day! Hope this helps...
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Old 07-21-2009, 09:34 AM
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I used to think that. But, the longer I'm sober, the more confidant I am...and I don't feel that way anymore.
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Old 07-21-2009, 09:37 AM
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bg1971, welcome to SR! 7 months sober is great progress, please take the time to introduce yourself and share your recovery with our members.
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