blessed4x

.....literally and figuratively. I spent this BEAUTIFUL 75 degree, sunny day outside doing yard work. I sat at my curb and pulled the overgrown grass and weeds from the edges of the curb, sidewalk, and cracks in the driveway. My kids played and sidewalk chalked, and occasionally helped pull weeds too.

My neighbor came over and chatted. I apologized for the condition I (we) had let our house get in...I know it was an eyesore. She was kind and supportive, but also pretty straight with me about how things like lawncare and paint had been neglected.

I thought about how closely the beauty I'm finding inside is correlated to the beauty I'm creating outside. I felt a little sad, and ashamed about how far things have gone. It snuck up on me. Several years without edging the grass. Peeling paint and overgrown shrubs. I'm increasing the property value on my street, and increasing my self-worth at the same time. Very therapeutic, this digging in the dirt.

I was just wondering if anyone else had awoken to see their surroundings falling apart around them, and shocked that it got that way without even noticing?

FSquared

Its hard to find time and energy for those external things when your internal is in such turmoil. I can think of at least 10 things that I should be working on at the house but I haven't been doing any of them because it is hard enough to make it through the day right now.

jehnifer

i really liked your post blessed4x. i too feel more "together" when i work in the soil and put forth effort on the day to day tasks! there is great satisfaction in it. thanks for the thoughtful post.

FreeingMyself

I completely understand where your are coming from - it seems to me the more "our of control" my life became, the less energy and time I spent on things like the yards or house....not because I was purposely neglecting them, but because I just didn't have enough left to do that all!

Startingover2

Great thought! I know when I am down or feeling hopeless the last thing I want to do is make my surroundings better. I do the bare minimum and want to crawl in a hole the rest of the time. For me its not only my home its my physical appearance, the way I eat, or if I really even want to leave the house.

ICant

Hi Blessed!
Yes and no regarding the physical environment. When my husband's alcoholism was at a medium level (binge drinking regularly but not daily), we both made sure the house and garden looked good. If what was happening behind closed doors was ugly, at least our place looked like nice. But yes, eventually it got to a point where neither of us could keep up the appearances.