I had two glasses... then walked away
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 111
I had two glasses... then walked away
Okay, I want to start with a disclaimer: My goal in this process is *NOT* complete abstinence. My goal is to stop my destructive drinking. I want to eliminate all the alone drinking I was doing (which I have done successfully for a while now) and to allow myself one night a week of social drinking (1-2 drinks only)... this is not for everyone here, just me!!!
Having said that, I had not had any alcohol since last Saturday night, when I had one glass of wine with dinner. That is: alcohol free Sunday through Friday, 6 days and nights. I knew I was meeting a friend for a "drink" on Saturday night, so thought it would be a good chance to try my social drinking "experiment" for lack of a better term. We went to a wine bar, as both of us love wine (duh!) I had a glass of Chardonnay, followed by a Pinot Noir. We had appetizers with the wine and chatted about our recent divorces, life, etc. Very much fun. Then it was time to go. We got the check, said our good byes, kisses and hugs, and walked out. For a moment, a very brief moment, I thought I wanted another glass of that delicious Pinot Noir. There was a lovely wine store on the way to my car. I was determined to stop in and pick up a bottle (very sneakily.) But a strange thing happened on the way (and if you are reading this far, you really deserve a pat on thse back LOL!) I couldn't do it!!!! A force guided me to my car and safely home with no more drinking. I don't really believe in God, but I sometimes think I have a guardian angel. Was it that? Was it you guys on SR? Was it my puppy? Was it the desire to feel good in the morning and have some good coffee and go running? I don't know, but I could not do it.
So I'm in good shape, going to watch a movie and get some rest.
Thanks for listening!
Laura
Having said that, I had not had any alcohol since last Saturday night, when I had one glass of wine with dinner. That is: alcohol free Sunday through Friday, 6 days and nights. I knew I was meeting a friend for a "drink" on Saturday night, so thought it would be a good chance to try my social drinking "experiment" for lack of a better term. We went to a wine bar, as both of us love wine (duh!) I had a glass of Chardonnay, followed by a Pinot Noir. We had appetizers with the wine and chatted about our recent divorces, life, etc. Very much fun. Then it was time to go. We got the check, said our good byes, kisses and hugs, and walked out. For a moment, a very brief moment, I thought I wanted another glass of that delicious Pinot Noir. There was a lovely wine store on the way to my car. I was determined to stop in and pick up a bottle (very sneakily.) But a strange thing happened on the way (and if you are reading this far, you really deserve a pat on thse back LOL!) I couldn't do it!!!! A force guided me to my car and safely home with no more drinking. I don't really believe in God, but I sometimes think I have a guardian angel. Was it that? Was it you guys on SR? Was it my puppy? Was it the desire to feel good in the morning and have some good coffee and go running? I don't know, but I could not do it.
So I'm in good shape, going to watch a movie and get some rest.
Thanks for listening!
Laura
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,355
I vote for the puppy 
LOL
But I'm glad your plan is holding up Laura
I think all of us needed to try to control our drinking before we surrendered - I really hope you're one of the lucky ones.
Good luck! keep it up.
D
LOLBut I'm glad your plan is holding up Laura
I think all of us needed to try to control our drinking before we surrendered - I really hope you're one of the lucky ones.
Good luck! keep it up.
D
To thine own self be true
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: New York
Posts: 756
Originally Posted by hopeful999 
Okay, I want to start with a disclaimer: My goal in this process is *NOT* complete abstinence. My goal is to stop my destructive drinking. I want to eliminate all the alone drinking I was doing (which I have done successfully for a while now) and to allow myself one night a week of social drinking (1-2 drinks only)... this is not for everyone here, just me!!!
Having said that, I had not had any alcohol since last Saturday night, when I had one glass of wine with dinner. That is: alcohol free Sunday through Friday, 6 days and nights. I knew I was meeting a friend for a "drink" on Saturday night, so thought it would be a good chance to try my social drinking "experiment" for lack of a better term. We went to a wine bar, as both of us love wine (duh!) I had a glass of Chardonnay, followed by a Pinot Noir. We had appetizers with the wine and chatted about our recent divorces, life, etc. Very much fun. Then it was time to go. We got the check, said our good byes, kisses and hugs, and walked out. For a moment, a very brief moment, I thought I wanted another glass of that delicious Pinot Noir. There was a lovely wine store on the way to my car. I was determined to stop in and pick up a bottle (very sneakily.) But a strange thing happened on the way (and if you are reading this far, you really deserve a pat on thse back LOL!) I couldn't do it!!!! A force guided me to my car and safely home with no more drinking. I don't really believe in God, but I sometimes think I have a guardian angel. Was it that? Was it you guys on SR? Was it my puppy? Was it the desire to feel good in the morning and have some good coffee and go running? I don't know, but I could not do it.
So I'm in good shape, going to watch a movie and get some rest.
Thanks for listening!
Laura
Having said that, I had not had any alcohol since last Saturday night, when I had one glass of wine with dinner. That is: alcohol free Sunday through Friday, 6 days and nights. I knew I was meeting a friend for a "drink" on Saturday night, so thought it would be a good chance to try my social drinking "experiment" for lack of a better term. We went to a wine bar, as both of us love wine (duh!) I had a glass of Chardonnay, followed by a Pinot Noir. We had appetizers with the wine and chatted about our recent divorces, life, etc. Very much fun. Then it was time to go. We got the check, said our good byes, kisses and hugs, and walked out. For a moment, a very brief moment, I thought I wanted another glass of that delicious Pinot Noir. There was a lovely wine store on the way to my car. I was determined to stop in and pick up a bottle (very sneakily.) But a strange thing happened on the way (and if you are reading this far, you really deserve a pat on thse back LOL!) I couldn't do it!!!! A force guided me to my car and safely home with no more drinking. I don't really believe in God, but I sometimes think I have a guardian angel. Was it that? Was it you guys on SR? Was it my puppy? Was it the desire to feel good in the morning and have some good coffee and go running? I don't know, but I could not do it.
So I'm in good shape, going to watch a movie and get some rest.
Thanks for listening!
Laura
Hey Laura,
That is really cool if it works for you. I am hoping to be able to do that one day eventually. I want to be able to have a few drinks and stop. I don't know if that is realistic thinking for me, and I am scared to try.
It is kind of a grey area I think. I was drinking because there was alot of things going on with me that I didn't understand and couldn't cope with. Now I am learning about myself and educating myself on WHY I drank. I feel if I can get a grip on the underlying problems that caused my drinking, I can then get my drinking under control.
Keep me posted on how this goes for you!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Overseas... on the shore of an uncharted desert isle.
Posts: 254
My best friend's "two drink" rule...
When he goes out for any occasion, he makes it a rule to have only two drinks - and that's absolutely it. No cheating with over-sized one-liter mugs of beer. And, when I was drinking, he'd never waver. During my drinking days, if I ordered a full pitcher of beer, either I'd finish it myself or end up leaving it.
It was only after I quit drinking that I found out about his "rule". While telling him some of the problems I had before with controlled drinking ... eg I'd tell myself I'd only have 3 or 5 drinks, but ended up having 7, then 17... he interrupted and stressed "three drinks is too many". Based on his experience, two drinks were enough to prevent any kind of addictive buzz for him to encourage "just one more".
I'm not sure if that rule works for anyone else or would have worked for me (I've decided staying off the booze 100% is a better and healthier choice for me) so that's why I'm clearly indicating it's his two-drink rule.
If you find the same success with it, good luck!
When he goes out for any occasion, he makes it a rule to have only two drinks - and that's absolutely it. No cheating with over-sized one-liter mugs of beer. And, when I was drinking, he'd never waver. During my drinking days, if I ordered a full pitcher of beer, either I'd finish it myself or end up leaving it.
It was only after I quit drinking that I found out about his "rule". While telling him some of the problems I had before with controlled drinking ... eg I'd tell myself I'd only have 3 or 5 drinks, but ended up having 7, then 17... he interrupted and stressed "three drinks is too many". Based on his experience, two drinks were enough to prevent any kind of addictive buzz for him to encourage "just one more".
I'm not sure if that rule works for anyone else or would have worked for me (I've decided staying off the booze 100% is a better and healthier choice for me) so that's why I'm clearly indicating it's his two-drink rule.
If you find the same success with it, good luck!
Sobriety in technicolor
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 98
The fact that I am jealous of your success in controlling your drinking just reaffirms that I am an alcoholic! LOL 
I am grateful that today I don't have to put that kind of effort into trying to count drinks, fight the urge for more, fearing going overboard, etc. I wasn't very good at it anyway.
Good luck and I am glad it is working out for you!
I am grateful that today I don't have to put that kind of effort into trying to count drinks, fight the urge for more, fearing going overboard, etc. I wasn't very good at it anyway.
Good luck and I am glad it is working out for you!
Hand salute! Strike up the band! Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 111
I think time will tell if this is the right plan for me or not (the 1-2 drinks per week). I plan to go back to several days of total non-drinking this week and am very happy about that. I'm beginning to like it! It really is the way to live and it just feels great. That realization in itself is huge progress for me.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 413
Hi Laura, I dont know whether to congradulate you or wish you luck!
If you find yourself in a situation where you swear that u will never drink again, the 2 drink rule isnt for you.
I used to swear that I would never, ever drink again because of the states I used to get myself in and after a week or so (even less), I would go back drinking and before long, despite my best intentions, I would wreck myself again.
So I read LOT of posts here, and have decided that I simply cant go wrong if I totally abstain. Best wishes anyway, E
If you find yourself in a situation where you swear that u will never drink again, the 2 drink rule isnt for you.
I used to swear that I would never, ever drink again because of the states I used to get myself in and after a week or so (even less), I would go back drinking and before long, despite my best intentions, I would wreck myself again.
So I read LOT of posts here, and have decided that I simply cant go wrong if I totally abstain. Best wishes anyway, E
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 111
Hi Eddie, thanks for your post. I definitely don't think congratulations are in order, and that's not what I'm after. I'm just being honest about what I am doing here. I'm headed in the right direction overall and I am willing to completely toss the notion of social drinking if it backfires on me, even once. And what you have achieved and your resolve to keep it up is inspiring.
Thx.
Thx.
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Here, Now
Posts: 4,268
All my best to you, I tried for 45 years and finally gave up. And you know, I don't miss it. So much happier and more free. Go figure? I worried for years about how I could live without it, FOREVER. The thought terrorized me. But like the boogy man in the closet,when I finally got the courage to open the door, it wasn't there.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,279
I hope it works for you Hopeful 
Two is a tease... at least for me right now. I have had to decline a few invites out tonight because I don't think I can be around booze & people drinking right now . Some nights I feel up to it but tonight I just need some me time. I am starting to get better at listening to my internal self.
All the best
NB
Two is a tease... at least for me right now. I have had to decline a few invites out tonight because I don't think I can be around booze & people drinking right now . Some nights I feel up to it but tonight I just need some me time. I am starting to get better at listening to my internal self.
All the best
NB
Mr.MeToo?
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: East Coast to the Deep South
Posts: 828
Originally Posted by hopeful999
Hi... I have been struggling with alcohol for the past few years, following my divorce at the age of 43. The stress of life and 3 kids led me to start drinking wine ... at first I had it under control. It was a nice transition after a rough day. However, slowly but surely, it got out of control. I could seldom stop at a half bottle of wine and needed to drink the whole thing. I did this on the average of 3-4 times per week and always felt like crap in the morning. I knew it was only me poisoning myself and I wanted so badly to stop. Today I feel the strength to try again... it is day 1 of sobriety! This website seems great and like a life saver. I know I need to save my life before I get any worse. Alcoholism is a horrible thing. I am also trying some counseling, hypnosis CDs and reading books to stop drinking. I want to feel good again and I want my life back. I like feeling like I'm not alone in my struggle!
Originally Posted by hopeful999
Alcohol addiction is so strange. When I was in my teens and 20's, I was a bit of a problem drinker -- binge drinking. Then in my 30's I had no trouble at all! I never even got drunk and could drink in moderation. Suddenly I find myself in my mid-forties worse off than ever before. When I drink, I usually get drunk by myself and do the STUPIDEST things. Like contacting old boyfriends and telling them I miss them... Ugghhhh. In the morning I always dread trying to remember what I did the night before and seeing the train wreck of the e-mail trail I left behind. I am hurting myself physically and psychologically to keep doing this. An endless cycle and a hellish nightmare. I cannot sleep well when I drink heavily and have horrible dreams.
This is a very fortunate thing for me to find help here. And to start on June 21st, the beginning of summer. What better gift could I give myself?
This is a very fortunate thing for me to find help here. And to start on June 21st, the beginning of summer. What better gift could I give myself?
Now almost a month later you have 6 days clean and are already ready and willing to start trying to drink with moderation? I am not trying to rain on your parade I just would hate to see you fall back into your old habits.
I think you should call that friend you had drinks with and just ask her a simple question. Ask if she had any thoughts at all of having another drink after leaving dinner. I'll bet that she didn't even have a slightest thought of it let alone plan out the entire trip like you explained that you did. Know why? cus shes not an alcoholic.
Glad that you didnt end up buying that bottle of wine on the way home but how many more times do you think youll be able to keep saying no? Don't you think with more 'victorys' like tonights, your mind will begin to tell you that its okay to just get drunk one night, that you can handle it, etc etc. Im not an alcoholic but addiction is addiction and thats what always happened to me ;\
Im all for you trying to get back into moderation of alcohol if thats what you truly desire, however, after only 1 month where you were drinking wine all alone at night 3-4 times a week doing "stupid things"? I just dont think thats to smart.
Remember im only saying this because we are friends. stay safe laura
~~ Scott
mergirl
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Paradise
Posts: 4,161
Originally Posted by hopeful999
Okay, I want to start with a disclaimer: My goal in this process is *NOT* complete abstinence. My goal is to stop my destructive drinking. I want to eliminate all the alone drinking I was doing (which I have done successfully for a while now) and to allow myself one night a week of social drinking (1-2 drinks only)... this is not for everyone here, just me!!!
Having said that, I had not had any alcohol since last Saturday night, when I had one glass of wine with dinner. That is: alcohol free Sunday through Friday, 6 days and nights.
Laura
Having said that, I had not had any alcohol since last Saturday night, when I had one glass of wine with dinner. That is: alcohol free Sunday through Friday, 6 days and nights.
Laura
Member
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 257
Scott-A BIG thank you!!! Thanks for bringing me back into the real world.
I have 30 days today.
As I was reading Laura's post, I started wondering if I could do it too. Not knocking the post, but it was kind of like a toxic propaganda for me
Now I want to know (3 months from now) if it works for her. How f'ed up is that?????
Am I an alcoholic??? Heck Yeah!!!
I have 30 days today.
As I was reading Laura's post, I started wondering if I could do it too. Not knocking the post, but it was kind of like a toxic propaganda for me
Now I want to know (3 months from now) if it works for her. How f'ed up is that?????Am I an alcoholic??? Heck Yeah!!!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 3
Hello Hopeful,
I found this site just tonight and am very hopeful myself that I can end my dependance on alcohol and I know it will take all the support I can get and just finding these forums is giving me more confidence about it.
I wish you nothing but success and hapiness in dealing with this. I just wanted to offer my experience with your plan. I managed to quit when I was 25 and after about 6 months clean I thought it sucked that I couldn't go out with friends on the weekend so I started going out and having a few once a week or so. It was going fine until I got some bad news that my Dad had cancer that had advanced pretty far before they caught it.
I know how I am and its just too difficult for me go to sleep with things like that on my mind and it wasn't long after before I was drinking nightly again. I can't say you won't be fine having a couple glasses of wine with friends every now and then but like your divorce set it off for you, it's emotional trauma that sets me off. I hope you stick with your therapy and keep a lot of healthy supportive people around should something difficult like that come along in your life again.
I found this site just tonight and am very hopeful myself that I can end my dependance on alcohol and I know it will take all the support I can get and just finding these forums is giving me more confidence about it.
I wish you nothing but success and hapiness in dealing with this. I just wanted to offer my experience with your plan. I managed to quit when I was 25 and after about 6 months clean I thought it sucked that I couldn't go out with friends on the weekend so I started going out and having a few once a week or so. It was going fine until I got some bad news that my Dad had cancer that had advanced pretty far before they caught it.
I know how I am and its just too difficult for me go to sleep with things like that on my mind and it wasn't long after before I was drinking nightly again. I can't say you won't be fine having a couple glasses of wine with friends every now and then but like your divorce set it off for you, it's emotional trauma that sets me off. I hope you stick with your therapy and keep a lot of healthy supportive people around should something difficult like that come along in your life again.
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Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 2,013
I don't see the point in this post. No offence meant or anything.
I come to SR because I know that I am an alcoholic at the age of 23. Like TommyK says millions of people do this, fairplay to them.
I cannot do this or allow myself to start even considering that I can because I am an alcoholic.
If you can do this successfully then I don't see you really need to be posting on SR anymore. Why not try posting on some wine Coneiseurs forums or something?
I come to SR because I know that I am an alcoholic at the age of 23. Like TommyK says millions of people do this, fairplay to them.
I cannot do this or allow myself to start even considering that I can because I am an alcoholic.
If you can do this successfully then I don't see you really need to be posting on SR anymore. Why not try posting on some wine Coneiseurs forums or something?
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Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: SE and then South some more
Posts: 2,648
Hmmm, I see both sides of the fence. I'm sure everyone would like to believe that you can do the 2 drink thing. I wish I could. Well, you know what? I could. I could ONLY have two but I would have been stopping for that bottle of Pinot Noir.......or Clos du Bois, Simi, Toasted Head.........I really enjoyed my chardonnays.
OR, I would have been obsessing all night about wanting more.
I don't want to see you NOT post here. I think if you came here, you came here for a reason.......HOWEVER, I have not seen anyone who's trying to stick to a drinking schedule have it work for them. I hope that if you decide you need to, I hope you come back knowing that you have a place to go to.......here!!!!
Good luck.
OR, I would have been obsessing all night about wanting more.
I don't want to see you NOT post here. I think if you came here, you came here for a reason.......HOWEVER, I have not seen anyone who's trying to stick to a drinking schedule have it work for them. I hope that if you decide you need to, I hope you come back knowing that you have a place to go to.......here!!!!
Good luck.
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