Nikki2003

My mother just called me to let me know my addicted/abusive husband called them today. Not to talk to the kids. Didn't even ask to talk to the kids, so didn't. No surprise there. The purpose to his call was to ask for pictures and to tell my parents that he is now living at his parents place. That his girlfriend and he are seperated (temperarily)till after the court date in August and then they will be getting back together. He said they seperated because Social Services got into an uproar about something(he didn't say what, I think it had to do with the email his girlfriend sent me that I forwarded to them and his probation officer). He also told them that Social Services told him very nastily(his words) that there is NO WAY he is getting the kids to take to his town where he lives or BC for the reunions. YIPPEE. After what I read in the email from his girlfriend there was no way I wanted my kids anywhere unsupervised with him.

I feel sorry for his parents. They can't seem to stop enabling him. He is 32years old and still runs to them to take him in because he can't support himself. I would never think about moving into my parents place. I am my own responsibility. I also pray that his girlfriend has the strength to keep him away. After the email I recieved I worry about her and her children.

kj3880

That is good news about him not getting access to your children. I'm praying that you keep strong and don't contact him. He probably had a motive to get to you by calling your parents. I doubt if it was just for pictures, cause if it was so much about the kids, he'd have asked to talk to them. He wants something from you, I suspect. Hang in there and stay strong. Get ready for some BS, and don't give in to it when it comes.

Love,
KJ

Nikki2003

You are completely right. My mom says he never talks to them about his girlfriend or living situation. She thinks(and I tend to agree with her) that he knows they will pass on the information. She thinks he is trying to make me jealous. Umm ok. I don't see anything to be jealous about anymore. And that he wants me to think he life is better then mine because he has someone to love him. Ummm ok. He is living with his parents so how does that make his life better then mine. I am proudly living on my own and supporting myself and will be proudly taking care of my kids myself soon to. Now that is something to be happy about. I will NEVER contact him. No worry there. I am just soooo glad that social services finally put there foot down and won't allow him to take the kids to the reunions.

rose

Still don't respond to any contact this girlfriend sends if she does. Something smells fishy....remember how good they can be at manipulation and lies.

Rose

Nikki2003

I won't be contacting either of them or any of his family either. The only contact I have is with his parents when I email them an update on the kids once a month. I never get a reply back and never expect to. And they have not once called the kids or stopped by to see them. No surprise there. I never put anything in the emails about my AH. It is only3 paragraphs. One about each child and that is it. This is my way of showing the kids that I always kept their grandparents involved. If they choose to not acknowledge it or be a part of the kids life then it is all their choice.

DarkMage

Be cautious, seems like you are on the right path.

-DM

kj3880

Nikki,
When I first had a protective order a few years ago against an ex-husband, I had it very basic (probably like yours, at first) Then he harrassed me through bothering others. So, I redid it and I had it include my parents, sibs, friends, and job. So he branched out and contacted people like my accountant, ex-b/f, my barista, and (believe it or not) my friends' husbands. I took that evidence (their e-mails and copies of their texts) to court and had the ex-parte rewritten to include "shall not attempt to harrass or contact KJ through anyone KJ knows and associates with."

It was an unusual step, but he was an unusual pain in the @ss and scares me. The ex-parte lasted for two years. He was arrested twice for violating it, and that creating a respect for the law in him, and he stopped. Then it expired on April the 19th of this year. Guess what the first thing he did on April the 20th was? Contacted my boss. It was time to head back to court. You have to be as persistent as they are, or you get no good results. I have some peace in my life now. I'm hoping you do too!

Love,
KJ

Nikki2003

Thanks for the tips. I will talk to my lawyer about it. He has no respect for the law. He has been arrested on countless occasions of breaching the no contact order. The same day he is released he is right back at it. So no amounts of arrest or jail time will stop him. This greatly concerns the police, my lawyer and my family.

kj3880

That is scary. I'm sorry you are going through this. I'm going to say a special prayer for you tonight, for your safety and peace of mind.

Love,
KJ