FINALLYdoingit

Well, after nearly four years of heroin addiction I have finally come to my wit's end and have decided to give it up, once and for all. My life has been really down for the past four years or so, and I believe that my addiction started to "cope" with this, as before that I had never even believed in depression or anything of that nature. Well, I found it. And then I found heroin, and it made things a lot easier to tolerate. At first.

But now I've gotten into a really great career-training program, and I'm going to a really good school getting a graduate degree, and so now is finally time to do this. Although I am currently in the middle of classes, I have a few days put aside to detox. I know the general consensus is to wait until you have two weeks or so to detox, but I won't have that kind of time for another month or so, and frankly, that is too long to continue using!

I've tried detoxing twice before. Once was fairly successful, as I did it at my parent's home in Arizona where I couldn't find any heroin, even if I wanted to... and then I returned to NYC and had it delivered to my door as soon as I arrived; other other time wasn't very successful, as I thought I would take a vacation to Florida, rent a cheap hotel, and just suffer through it for a week. Unfortunately (or fortunately, I guess, for me, at the time) I unintentionally found a source for morphine within two days, so by the time I left, I was no cleaner than when I arrived.

But like I said, this time is different! I am motivated now. I want to quit for me, not because I can't find any (I can, very easily). I am just sick of it, and don't want to have to plan my life around it any longer.

Well, before this post gets any longer, I just want to say that I just used for the last time around 3 hours ago, and it's getting late, so I'm about to go to bed while I still can. But I am very scared! I don't really know what to expect (since the first time I detoxed I had only been using for two months and I was only snorting a couple of bags a day; recently I have been shooting nearly two bundles a day), and from reading these posts, I don't know if I feel more or less nervous about it.

Can someone let me know if I am setting myself up for failure since I am doing this while I'm in school? More or less, I have 4 days before I have to actually be in class, and no major assignments or anything that I have to work on for two weeks. How bad is this going to be??!

I'm going to try to use this site as a means of support during my detox and also to give me something to do while I'm going crazy from restlessness during the detox. Any responses would be greatly appreciated, as it would give me something to read and respond to!

Thank you all!

Now I'm

Tazman53

FINALLYdoingit, I am a recoveriing alcoholic so I have no first hand experience with herion withdrawals, some one I am sure will be along that has. I would suggest that you not try and do this on your own though, alcohol is like herion I have heard in regards to stopping, the hardest part is staying stopped, it sure was for me when it come to drinking, I failed to stay stopped time and time again until finally I went to AA.

NA is really big in NYC, I am sure there are a lot of folks in NA where you are at that would be more then happy to help you out.

Hang around, keep posting and let us know how you are doing.

Faerie

Of course you're scared mate but you're brave as hell!!!

I am trying to quit a codeine addiction so I know how hard it is to face life without a crutch.

I believe you'll be successful, you have clear goals to work towards, but most importantly do you have any support outside of the forum?

Much love and strength,

The Faerie with Torn Wings

vegibean

You ask if you're setting yourself up for failure........ have you talked to anyone about this? A doctor? Have you been to any meetings? I know you're here and that's great, this place is awesome!!!! However, for getting off your DOC, I truly believe you need to have a plan. Does anyone other than us know you have this addiction to herion? Letting others know can also help you stay accountable. Get a sponsor and work the steps.

This is an addiction and I'm sure you already know it works with your mind, your body and your emotional state. I can't tell you how many times I was ready to quit and there I was again, drinking again and again........

This is a disease and when you're in the grips of it, it's really got you. I am so happy for you that you want to do this. Big step!!! I really think you need a plan so you DON'T fail.

I know that you're probably going to get tons of advice on all of this. There are tons here that have been through the same thing.

Welcome to SR, keep posting and best wishes to you!