auntiem

I am new to this forum- my nephew is in recovery. i want to acknowledge his birthday taking place while he is in rehab. i am very proud that he is there, voluntarily, working hard to try to get sober and stay sober. he wants some CD's because he has nothing anymore- he lost all of his things he cherished because of his addiction. I am afraid to just buy him music that he probably listened to and associates maybe (or maybe not) with getting high. I want to be supportive but I do not want to enable him or hurt him in any way either- this is new for everyone in our family. any advise???? I would greatly appreciate it.

Astro

How about buying him a recovery related gift that celebrates his achievement, or maybe a book to help him along on his continued path in recovery? Lots of great ideas here Hazelden -- Recovery

gravity

Can you ask him (I know...it will spoil the surprise)? Tell him what you want to do, your concerns, and ask him if he has any specific requests.

When I first quit, I associated certain music with drinking. Some music brought back the guilt & sadness while other music made me feel like partying. These feelings have gone away but it took some time.

In general, however, listening to music is a big part of my life and recovery. Helps me stay positive.

You sound like a good auntie!

Anna

My suggestion would be to buy him a book.

NewBeginning010

Especially if you can make it even more personal (engraving etc.) or having family members write in the books how much they love them & why they want them back (with signature3s). It would be very powerful.

There are some good cd's & other gifts here as well.


PEOPLES CHOICE 12 STEP RECOVERY SHOP

This cd looked interesting JOE McQ. AND CHARLIE P. 1987
$US34.99 Add to basketBasketAdd to favorites
THE LATE JOE McQ. ORIGINAL JOE

10 CD SET KNOWN AS THE EXPANDED BIG BOOK STUDY - DONE IN PORT ARTHUR TEXAS MARCH 27 - 29, 1987. FEATURES EXPANDED DISCUSSION ON STEPS 4 & 11.

PORT ARTHUR 1987

tommyk

Call the rehab staff and ask them.

Quse56

I LOVE daily meditation books! There are a ton out there.

Or maybe some uplifting music like Jason Mraz. His "I'm Yours" makes me feel great when I sing it in the car.

What a gift to have a person like you who is so caring and supportive

Taking5

This is a very good point. The rehab may not allow the CDs as certain music is likely to be associated with using in newcomers. Even if they do allow it, CDs are easy to turn into cash, and cash can be used to, well you know....

I think a recovery book with signatures is a great idea.

Heaja13

This is a good question, in fact I decided to read the posts because I was curious what others would say.

I'm still very new to recovery but I do like the idea of the recovery books, with signatures. I know if I received that I would feel better knowing my family supported me in my decision to stay sober. Especially since you said he went in voluntarily. That's great!

Another option I would like if it was me is a good classic fantasy novel. (if he likes to read of course). Just like music can help people deal with issues, I find it's great to escape to a fantasy world. Since I've decided to stay sober I find I'm reading more and more and also staying sober.

auntiem

I am so appreciative of everyone's comments and feedback. After struggling with my various choices and some changes for my nephew who has just gone to a halfway house-type program, I decided on the item of clothing that is super personal (and unlikely to be sold for anything). Since I loved the idea of the signatures in a recovery book, but know he is the most reluctant reader of ANY literature, I instead wrote him an honest, heartfelt letter of support, but also of congratulations for having the first birthday in a long time as a clean and sober person.

Unfortunately, right now he is having some challanges out in the real world and making some choices that might not be leading him down the path of leading a drug and alcohol free life- I keep reminding him about the "one day at a time" and that there is real validity and power in those words. He may have slip ups but he need to remember that that should not preclude him from trying to straighten out all over again.

If for nothing else, I am so grateful to have found this forum, which I would not have if the ever-sticky present giving issue had not come up. I truly think every day any of you get through clean and sober whether it is one day or 2,000 days- each need to be celebrated and you need to acknowledge your HUGE FEAT! as I watch my beloved nephew struggle an uphill battle I am not certain of the outcome I can only hope he opts to fight for a life free of drugs ....thank you all

vegibean

I second tommyk's suggestion BIG TIME!!! There may only be certain things he can have. As well, I liked what others said about books. Reading is great and there are tons of great biography and self-help, step-work related books that are wonderful!! "Living Sober" is a great little handbook, the Big Book. Hazeden does have a lot of stuff on their site to check out too.

Firehazard

A small spider plant or fern and a big hug. I recieved a plant at the begining and for a guy it has really been a benifit learning to take care or it and watching it flourish along with me.

Wolfchild

Welcome to the Sober Recovery community.

Have you checked the other forums of
those with family members in recovery?

Alot of help and support here for everyone!