Update
To Life!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Rhode Island
Posts: 9,293
Update
Hi, all,
Haven't seen you all in a while. I've stopped by once in a while though, to say hi to old friends. Thought I'd fill you in on what's going on in my world.
I've been laid off. Looking for a job, though there are none around in RI. I filled out forms for unemployment, but, they are so far behind, I won't start getting anything for almost a month. It's as bad as I've ever seen it here. Still have my home; let's hope and pray I can sell it now, though it will surely be for a loss now. Oh well.
I was in the hospital on the last day of school. Got all kinds of tests. Now they are thinking it's gall bladder. Go for another test next Wednesday. Painful thing, gall bladder, if that's what it is, LOL! Still have insurance, thank goodness!
Good news is before all this bad stuff happened, I made plans, (and paid for), a trip to the Azores! I'm going to San Miquel in August. I'm really looking forward to it. The pictures are beautiful. I'm going with a group of friends, and one of them owns a home there, so accomodations are all set. It's going to be alot of fun!
Now, for the reason I'm on F&F, LOL!
Trevor was in jail, and got out and went into a rehab. While there, I attended the Friends and Family meetings. He asked me to. He couldn't go on in the program without someone there. I made it clear to him, and everyone there, I would have nothing to do with his addiction anymore. I'd help in his recovery, but, he's on his own in his addiction. Well, for the first time, he actually graduated! Got a certificate and a coin, inscripted, "To thine own self be true." Socrates. What a beautiful sentiment.
He stayed with me for the first night. The plan was to stay for two nights; then to stay with his dad for the week end. He has to turn himself into the Conn. courts on Monday. He left Sunday morning for the city. I got a call from his dad saying he was in the hospital; an "anxiety" attack. I got another call at 11PM; another at 3 Am from the doctor asking me to pick him up. Doc refused to discuss anything about drugs. I said no. At 7 AM Trevor asked me to pick him up. Three times, my sleep was disturbed after I made it clear I will have nothing to do with his addiction. He made his choices; he can live with them.
Anyway, I told him to get a bus to town. That way, he could pick up his stuff from my house, and I could put him back on the bus for where ever he wanted to go. He's not staying here. He never called, as he was supposed to, so I could pick him up at the bus station, since 7 AM.
I called him and told him not to bother coming. I was going out, and if he tried to break into my home, he would go back to jail. I'm trying to survive; I'm trying to find a job. I'm taking it one day at a time. And I have *no* room for this garbage.
But, just for today, I'm going to a BBQ at my aunt's place. I intend to have a good day, on a sunny summer afternoon.
Hope all is well in your world.
Shalom!
Haven't seen you all in a while. I've stopped by once in a while though, to say hi to old friends. Thought I'd fill you in on what's going on in my world.
I've been laid off. Looking for a job, though there are none around in RI. I filled out forms for unemployment, but, they are so far behind, I won't start getting anything for almost a month. It's as bad as I've ever seen it here. Still have my home; let's hope and pray I can sell it now, though it will surely be for a loss now. Oh well.
I was in the hospital on the last day of school. Got all kinds of tests. Now they are thinking it's gall bladder. Go for another test next Wednesday. Painful thing, gall bladder, if that's what it is, LOL! Still have insurance, thank goodness!
Good news is before all this bad stuff happened, I made plans, (and paid for), a trip to the Azores! I'm going to San Miquel in August. I'm really looking forward to it. The pictures are beautiful. I'm going with a group of friends, and one of them owns a home there, so accomodations are all set. It's going to be alot of fun!
Now, for the reason I'm on F&F, LOL!
Trevor was in jail, and got out and went into a rehab. While there, I attended the Friends and Family meetings. He asked me to. He couldn't go on in the program without someone there. I made it clear to him, and everyone there, I would have nothing to do with his addiction anymore. I'd help in his recovery, but, he's on his own in his addiction. Well, for the first time, he actually graduated! Got a certificate and a coin, inscripted, "To thine own self be true." Socrates. What a beautiful sentiment.
He stayed with me for the first night. The plan was to stay for two nights; then to stay with his dad for the week end. He has to turn himself into the Conn. courts on Monday. He left Sunday morning for the city. I got a call from his dad saying he was in the hospital; an "anxiety" attack. I got another call at 11PM; another at 3 Am from the doctor asking me to pick him up. Doc refused to discuss anything about drugs. I said no. At 7 AM Trevor asked me to pick him up. Three times, my sleep was disturbed after I made it clear I will have nothing to do with his addiction. He made his choices; he can live with them.
Anyway, I told him to get a bus to town. That way, he could pick up his stuff from my house, and I could put him back on the bus for where ever he wanted to go. He's not staying here. He never called, as he was supposed to, so I could pick him up at the bus station, since 7 AM.
I called him and told him not to bother coming. I was going out, and if he tried to break into my home, he would go back to jail. I'm trying to survive; I'm trying to find a job. I'm taking it one day at a time. And I have *no* room for this garbage.
But, just for today, I'm going to a BBQ at my aunt's place. I intend to have a good day, on a sunny summer afternoon.
Hope all is well in your world.
Shalom!
To Life!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Rhode Island
Posts: 9,293
Hi, gotahavfaith,
It takes time; sometimes, LOTS of time, LOL!
(Others here will understand why I laugh at that statement!)
But, we finally learn to let go and go on with our own lives.
One way or another, we have to learn that lesson.
We have one life to live,
That we know of.
Why not enjoy what we can?
I'm tired of living in dispair and helplessness.
I like the sunshine!
And I get to make choices too.
Shalom!
It takes time; sometimes, LOTS of time, LOL!
(Others here will understand why I laugh at that statement!)
But, we finally learn to let go and go on with our own lives.
One way or another, we have to learn that lesson.
We have one life to live,
That we know of.
Why not enjoy what we can?
I'm tired of living in dispair and helplessness.
I like the sunshine!
And I get to make choices too.
Shalom!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
I'm glad you checked in! I hope you are able to find work before too long, and the trip sounds like it will be marvelous!
As for Trevor, kudos to you for staying out of the games. I can appreciate how much work it takes to get to that place in your life.
As for Trevor, kudos to you for staying out of the games. I can appreciate how much work it takes to get to that place in your life.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
I, too, am glad you checked in. The trip sounds wonderful, and I do hope you can find work soon. This economy is hitting everyone hard.
I truly admire how you are letting Trevor deal with his own problems. He'll get it or he won't...in the meantime, you will be dealing with things in your own hula hoop, just as you should.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
I truly admire how you are letting Trevor deal with his own problems. He'll get it or he won't...in the meantime, you will be dealing with things in your own hula hoop, just as you should.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
I'm no angel!
Join Date: May 2005
Location: tampa, fl
Posts: 6,728
Greetings Teach!
Another OLD TIMER here!
Sounds like you've got everything under control.
Unemployment is the same here in FL, there just are no jobs.
Glad your bounderies are in place with Trevor, there really is nothing else you can do, but, stick hard and fast.
My best,
Dolly
Another OLD TIMER here!
Sounds like you've got everything under control.
Unemployment is the same here in FL, there just are no jobs.
Glad your bounderies are in place with Trevor, there really is nothing else you can do, but, stick hard and fast.
My best,
Dolly
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 1,906
I have no words for you except I'm sorry. I'm speechless. I remember you posting about his graduation etc. I so admire where you are at in your recovery that you can keep your hands off the addict.
Enjoy your trip - it sounds like you could use the R and R! Although for me vacations are never really R and R as I'm to busy sightseeing or doing things! Sounds like fun.
Enjoy your trip - it sounds like you could use the R and R! Although for me vacations are never really R and R as I'm to busy sightseeing or doing things! Sounds like fun.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: in my own world~
Posts: 1,237
Enjoy your trip and it sounds like your right where your suppose to be. It takes time to except that we can't change things that aren't ready to be changed so I give you tons of credit for standing up to Trevor. With me~~thats when things changed here. My son was (is)) a cocaine addict. He has been healthy for almost over a year now, owns his own business and is doing great. Hopefully this happens for Trevor and good luck finding work. Smiles, Bonnie
Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: a better place
Posts: 4,047
I'm sorry to hear about the job and Trevor, Teach, but so glad that you are keeping your boundaries in place and enjoying each day for the beauty it contains.
Gall stones are really painful when they start jumping around. The thing I disliked most was my attacks always came at night. My pain tolerance is lower when I am really tired. I had stones when I was rat young and put off surgery for a couple of years since my daughter was just a baby. A low fat diet helped for awhile, but not indefinitely. Today the laparascopic procedure makes things much easier - in and out of the hospitial and a week or 2 recuperation. Hope that they can address things soon.
Dolly - It is wonderful to see your name pop up here - hope you are well too!
Gall stones are really painful when they start jumping around. The thing I disliked most was my attacks always came at night. My pain tolerance is lower when I am really tired. I had stones when I was rat young and put off surgery for a couple of years since my daughter was just a baby. A low fat diet helped for awhile, but not indefinitely. Today the laparascopic procedure makes things much easier - in and out of the hospitial and a week or 2 recuperation. Hope that they can address things soon.
Dolly - It is wonderful to see your name pop up here - hope you are well too!
To Life!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Rhode Island
Posts: 9,293
Had a WONDERFUL day at the BBQ. Never got a call, and that made the day even better. Just relaxed and had fun chatting and catching up with aunts and uncles and others I haven't seen for a while. Good food; good company; good day. What more could anyone want?
Dolly, good to see you!
Thanks for all the good wishes everyone! My trip is at the end of August. Hopefully, I will be celebrating a job! LOL!
Shalom!
Dolly, good to see you!
Thanks for all the good wishes everyone! My trip is at the end of August. Hopefully, I will be celebrating a job! LOL!
Shalom!
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
(((Teach)))
I too am sorry about the job, but am certain that God has wonderful plans for you. And I'm sorry about Trevor and keep him in my prayers.
I too learned that I could live my life in sadness or misery, which changed nothing except my own state of mind, or I could choose to live well and be happy and free, entrusting my son's care to God (where it belongs and where it has been all along).
Enjoy your trip, I have never been to the Azores but hear they are beautiful.
Hugs
I too am sorry about the job, but am certain that God has wonderful plans for you. And I'm sorry about Trevor and keep him in my prayers.
I too learned that I could live my life in sadness or misery, which changed nothing except my own state of mind, or I could choose to live well and be happy and free, entrusting my son's care to God (where it belongs and where it has been all along).
Enjoy your trip, I have never been to the Azores but hear they are beautiful.
Hugs
To Life!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Rhode Island
Posts: 9,293
Update for the update. 
I just got a call from the ex. Trevor is there, safe and sound.
It's the usual run. He has his play time, then goes running to dad; doesn't have to face any of the consequences of his behaviors.
He asked me to write a letter to the judge in Conn. He has one from the program he just finished. I cannot write one for him. I'd love to be able to. I don't really want to see him back in jail. But, he's not clean and sober. He's using drugs and people, just as he always has. No program work has changed that. It breaks my heart, but, it's the truth. And I"m not going to lie about it. He'll get no letter for me.
And that will be one more big resentment he'll carry about me, too.
I can live with that.
I hope he can.
Good to see you, Marle.
Hey, Ann!
Shalom!
I just got a call from the ex. Trevor is there, safe and sound.
It's the usual run. He has his play time, then goes running to dad; doesn't have to face any of the consequences of his behaviors.
He asked me to write a letter to the judge in Conn. He has one from the program he just finished. I cannot write one for him. I'd love to be able to. I don't really want to see him back in jail. But, he's not clean and sober. He's using drugs and people, just as he always has. No program work has changed that. It breaks my heart, but, it's the truth. And I"m not going to lie about it. He'll get no letter for me.
And that will be one more big resentment he'll carry about me, too.
I can live with that.
I hope he can.
Good to see you, Marle.
Hey, Ann!
Shalom!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Seeking Peace
Posts: 1,371
Originally Posted by historyteach 
We have one life to live,
That we know of.
Why not enjoy what we can?
I'm tired of living in dispair and helplessness.
That we know of.
Why not enjoy what we can?
I'm tired of living in dispair and helplessness.
ya know...that just about sums it up sometimes !
The fear, the despair, the gloom, the disappointment...it all gets so old after a while.
You're recovery is SHINING brightly,my dear.
You're trip sounds absolutely wonderful ! Good for you !!
And Dolly Do !! Oh my, I've missed you !! So good to see you around !!
Last edited by DesertEyes; 07-12-2009 at 08:44 AM. Reason: fixed broken quote
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: The Burgh
Posts: 1,991
I'm so sorry to hear the latest, but so admire your outlook (((Teach)))
I've never heard of the Azores...how could I have missed it?...It sounds so tropic and wonderful!
I will be looking it up. In the meantime, keep doing what you are doing, it looks good on you
(((Hugs)))
I've never heard of the Azores...how could I have missed it?...It sounds so tropic and wonderful!
I will be looking it up. In the meantime, keep doing what you are doing, it looks good on you
(((Hugs)))
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: twilight zone,usa
Posts: 3,909
i am not here as often as i should be & want to be. i am glad i read your update. i am sorry about your job but i bet u get one real soon. i am sorry about trevor too. i wish he could "get it". you sound good. i am glad you are taking that vacation. you deserve it. take care of you.
hi dolly, good to see you.
hi dolly, good to see you.
To Life!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Rhode Island
Posts: 9,293
Oh, hope,
All I can do is take care of me.
No one else is doing the job! LOL!
Cece,
Do look it up.
The Azores are a place I had never thought I'd go to. It fell on my lap, literally. And I grabbed it! Now or never! I want to see some of this world before I leave it! So, I'd better start doing it now, before it's too late!
Bad news is, they just called back another round of teachers. I got a call from a friend of mine. He's # 5; I'm # 6 on the recall list for history teachers. Neither one of us were recalled. It's getting scarey...
Twenty + years in education; 10 in this system. What for?
I left the restaurant business after over 20 years and went into education for security.... LOL!
Shalom!
All I can do is take care of me.
No one else is doing the job! LOL!
Cece,
Do look it up.
The Azores are a place I had never thought I'd go to. It fell on my lap, literally. And I grabbed it! Now or never! I want to see some of this world before I leave it! So, I'd better start doing it now, before it's too late!
Bad news is, they just called back another round of teachers. I got a call from a friend of mine. He's # 5; I'm # 6 on the recall list for history teachers. Neither one of us were recalled. It's getting scarey...
Twenty + years in education; 10 in this system. What for?
I left the restaurant business after over 20 years and went into education for security.... LOL!
Shalom!
Forum Leader
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: In my little piece of heaven
Posts: 2,870
(( teach )) (( trevor ))
Teach, it's good to hear from you and hear the recovery in your words and actions. I'm sorry that Trevor is still out doing his research... but each time he gets around to looking at recovery more quickly than the time before.
I laughed with you when you remarked about how "it takes time".Boy does it ever.
I hope you're able to see the blessings in your unemployment time. I've been out of work since the end of January, and you're right - it's scary out there. I had to really step out in faith and walk in it... and know that my HP is with me and I'm right where I'm supposed to be.
Big hugs - I know how hard this is. AND I'm jealous of your vacation. I would really like to be on a beach somewhere myself.
Cats
Teach, it's good to hear from you and hear the recovery in your words and actions. I'm sorry that Trevor is still out doing his research... but each time he gets around to looking at recovery more quickly than the time before.
I laughed with you when you remarked about how "it takes time".Boy does it ever.
I hope you're able to see the blessings in your unemployment time. I've been out of work since the end of January, and you're right - it's scary out there. I had to really step out in faith and walk in it... and know that my HP is with me and I'm right where I'm supposed to be.
Big hugs - I know how hard this is. AND I'm jealous of your vacation. I would really like to be on a beach somewhere myself.
Cats
To Life!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Rhode Island
Posts: 9,293
Hiya, Cats!
Good to "see" ya!
Well, he did come back really quickly this time. One day out is all it took. He went to his job counselor today. Did some painting for me yesterday. His counselor is looking for a sober house for him. He's going to his dad's. Had to stay with me last night in order to get to his counselor's but, he's not staying here. He's not happy with that, but, that's not my issue. I have enough on my plate right now without dealing with him. And his dad refuses, still, to let him deal with the consequences of his own behaviors. I told him not to leave the rehab and he had the option to stay until there was a sober house to go to. It's between his dad and him, now, not me.
I'm having a hard time finding a blessing in my unemployment, to be honest. Maybe it's because I have to do so much work to apply for a position I really do not want, in order to keep a job. The new position is a departmental teacher leader. The requirements are overwhelming - and that's just for the interview! I don't feel I'm up for it; indeed, I know I'm not. But, I don't have a choice. I need a job. So, I put one foot in front of the other and keep on keeping on, as they say! LOL!
Glad you got a laugh with me over the time issue!
Just like Trevor, I sometimes take a step back, but, today, I take strides forward too. Much better than years ago. Oh, how many years ago that was! Seems like a lifetime, and it was. I was a different woman back then. So very glad I'm not that woman today. I used to stand behind the door, looking out, wishing, hoping for a better life. It's much nicer to be outside, enjoying the sunshine and fresh air!
Tomorrow, I go for the hida scan at the hospital. They are checking my gall bladder, to see if that's why I was at the hospital with such pain @ 1 1/2 weeks ago. Still in pain, but, not as severe. If so, I'll probably need surgery, and won't have to worry about the interview! LOL! Then, I'll just need to worry about a job!
But, like Scarlet O'Hara, I'll think about that tomorrow!
Cuz, after the test, my sister and I are going to First Beach in Newport, and having a lobster salad sandwich for lunch!
Shalom!
Good to "see" ya!
Well, he did come back really quickly this time. One day out is all it took. He went to his job counselor today. Did some painting for me yesterday. His counselor is looking for a sober house for him. He's going to his dad's. Had to stay with me last night in order to get to his counselor's but, he's not staying here. He's not happy with that, but, that's not my issue. I have enough on my plate right now without dealing with him. And his dad refuses, still, to let him deal with the consequences of his own behaviors. I told him not to leave the rehab and he had the option to stay until there was a sober house to go to. It's between his dad and him, now, not me.
I'm having a hard time finding a blessing in my unemployment, to be honest. Maybe it's because I have to do so much work to apply for a position I really do not want, in order to keep a job. The new position is a departmental teacher leader. The requirements are overwhelming - and that's just for the interview! I don't feel I'm up for it; indeed, I know I'm not. But, I don't have a choice. I need a job. So, I put one foot in front of the other and keep on keeping on, as they say! LOL!
Glad you got a laugh with me over the time issue!
Just like Trevor, I sometimes take a step back, but, today, I take strides forward too. Much better than years ago. Oh, how many years ago that was! Seems like a lifetime, and it was. I was a different woman back then. So very glad I'm not that woman today. I used to stand behind the door, looking out, wishing, hoping for a better life. It's much nicer to be outside, enjoying the sunshine and fresh air!
Tomorrow, I go for the hida scan at the hospital. They are checking my gall bladder, to see if that's why I was at the hospital with such pain @ 1 1/2 weeks ago. Still in pain, but, not as severe. If so, I'll probably need surgery, and won't have to worry about the interview! LOL! Then, I'll just need to worry about a job!
But, like Scarlet O'Hara, I'll think about that tomorrow!
Cuz, after the test, my sister and I are going to First Beach in Newport, and having a lobster salad sandwich for lunch!
Shalom!
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