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Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Traveling in Europe
Posts: 415
Newcomer
Hey all,
I walked into AA for the first time last December. I felt worthless and wasn't able to keep up my university studies like I had my first two years. I meet someone at my first meeting who seemed to take a real interest in me. I went overseas to singapore for the winter break. I loved the AA group here--lots of diversity--like a mini UN for drunks. Anyway I got back to school and started using marijuana again (dumb decision of course)... But abstained from drink till I turned 21 in march. I had gone to several meetings but felt oddly uncomfortable with my temporary sponsor. The day after I drank I knew I had ****** up so I called up this guy. After breaking down crying and spilling my guts out he made a pass at me. I don't care about anyone's preferences as far as that goes but the guy was using the program as a platform for his predatory behavior. Very sad. The rest of the semester I was in therapy trying to go to different groups (who apparently knew this guy was a creep) but I didn't stay sober. I made the decision to come back to singapore and live with my family for a while to try to get some time.
Its been 46 days now. Last night I was really getting into dangerous mind states. I had just finished my medical for my student visa. Ill be attending classes here this fall. This was of life seems really daunting--even though I know deep down its what I want. I am back in the rooms here. Have been working with a great sponsor-- A family man and a Buddhist (The faith I most closely identify with). He is leaving for a month so i'll have to find another temp sponser. Anyway last night reading through some of these threads really saved me. So I figured I would post a bit about my story. Thanks everybody
I walked into AA for the first time last December. I felt worthless and wasn't able to keep up my university studies like I had my first two years. I meet someone at my first meeting who seemed to take a real interest in me. I went overseas to singapore for the winter break. I loved the AA group here--lots of diversity--like a mini UN for drunks. Anyway I got back to school and started using marijuana again (dumb decision of course)... But abstained from drink till I turned 21 in march. I had gone to several meetings but felt oddly uncomfortable with my temporary sponsor. The day after I drank I knew I had ****** up so I called up this guy. After breaking down crying and spilling my guts out he made a pass at me. I don't care about anyone's preferences as far as that goes but the guy was using the program as a platform for his predatory behavior. Very sad. The rest of the semester I was in therapy trying to go to different groups (who apparently knew this guy was a creep) but I didn't stay sober. I made the decision to come back to singapore and live with my family for a while to try to get some time.
Its been 46 days now. Last night I was really getting into dangerous mind states. I had just finished my medical for my student visa. Ill be attending classes here this fall. This was of life seems really daunting--even though I know deep down its what I want. I am back in the rooms here. Have been working with a great sponsor-- A family man and a Buddhist (The faith I most closely identify with). He is leaving for a month so i'll have to find another temp sponser. Anyway last night reading through some of these threads really saved me. So I figured I would post a bit about my story. Thanks everybody
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Hi TheSunAlsoRises
Welcome to SR. I'm sorry you encountered such a sick individual but I'm glad you realised AA was not to blame and came back to the rooms.
I use SR as my support. It's a great place to be
Hope to see you round!
D
Welcome to SR. I'm sorry you encountered such a sick individual but I'm glad you realised AA was not to blame and came back to the rooms.
I use SR as my support. It's a great place to be
Hope to see you round!
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Traveling in Europe
Posts: 415
Thank you all for your warm greetings... I look forward to getting to know all of you as well. Not to much going on right now. My dad is working in Indonesia during the weeks so he just got back this evening. Its nice to have someone else around the house. My brother, sister, and mom are all back in the states as of this last week. Having the house to myself has been a bit scary. I know what I do left to my own devices haha. But I have been making meetings everyday. Which defiantly helps. I'm on the fourth step which--I'm afraid I have kind of stalled on. It has really been a blow to my self esteem... along with the fact that I have moved back in with my family. But deep down I know that this is the right thing. Fortunately it was my decision... (although I guess not because I felt like it was the only choice that would lead to sobriety)
I thought I would be calmer by now. But I know that this takes a lot of time. At least I can try to use my discomfort as a reminder that I really have a serious problem with alcohol/drugs and that I'm on the right path. My therapist this spring wanted to put me on medication for anxiety/depression. I refused. Now I'm kicking the idea around back and forth. Hard to say, anxiety/depression symptoms are defiantly not as severe as they were 47 days ago. But they are defiantly still present. I'll have to talk to my current shrink and see what he has to say. Thanks again everyone for the replies...
I thought I would be calmer by now. But I know that this takes a lot of time. At least I can try to use my discomfort as a reminder that I really have a serious problem with alcohol/drugs and that I'm on the right path. My therapist this spring wanted to put me on medication for anxiety/depression. I refused. Now I'm kicking the idea around back and forth. Hard to say, anxiety/depression symptoms are defiantly not as severe as they were 47 days ago. But they are defiantly still present. I'll have to talk to my current shrink and see what he has to say. Thanks again everyone for the replies...
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: East Coast
Posts: 437
Welcome and keep reading and posting. There is alot of knowledge here. You are so lucky to find out you have a problem so early in life. Good luck and use this site in addition to other recovery sources.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,279
Glad to have you here TheSunAlsoRises :ghug2 and I look forward to seeing you work through your recovery.
I am also interested in Buddhism, we have a "Spirituality" forum with threads about Buddhism. It would be nice to have some of your input/sharing as well.
I will be back with the link in a second.
Take Care,
NB
EDIT: Found it... http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/spirituality/
I love this video \/ it really fits in with our addiction.
I am also interested in Buddhism, we have a "Spirituality" forum with threads about Buddhism. It would be nice to have some of your input/sharing as well.
I will be back with the link in a second.
Take Care,
NB
EDIT: Found it... http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/spirituality/
I love this video \/ it really fits in with our addiction.
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