I am a girl that you lost to cocaine (ritalin)
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 1,307
I am a girl that you lost to cocaine (ritalin)
YouTube - Sia .. [The Girl You Lost To Cocaine]
The Girl You Lost To Cocaine lyrics
I've stuck around, through thick and through thin
You cannot deny, I've always been in
But I've watched you stand, still as a snowman
But I don't see you change, you're always at meltdown
Yeah I've been your crutch, your smell sight and touch
Yeah I took you home when you've drunk too much
But I can't survive, with you by my side
See I'll never get laid, while I'm running your life
No I just don't wanna, so I'm walking away
There is nothing that you can do I will not stay
No I don't need drama, so I'm walking away
Yeah I am a girl with a lot on her plate
So just cut me loose, learn to tie your shoes
There's somebody here, I'd like to introduce
So look in the mirror, look for the glass
'Cause you're not my problem, you are my last
No I just don't wanna, so I'm walking away
There is nothing that you can do I will not stay
No I don't need drama, so I'm walking away
Yeah I am a girl with a lot on her plate
No I just don't wanna, so I'm walking away
There is nothing that you can do I will not stay
No I don't need drama, so I'm walking away
I'm just a girl that you lost to cocaine!
The Girl You Lost To Cocaine lyrics
I've stuck around, through thick and through thin
You cannot deny, I've always been in
But I've watched you stand, still as a snowman
But I don't see you change, you're always at meltdown
Yeah I've been your crutch, your smell sight and touch
Yeah I took you home when you've drunk too much
But I can't survive, with you by my side
See I'll never get laid, while I'm running your life
No I just don't wanna, so I'm walking away
There is nothing that you can do I will not stay
No I don't need drama, so I'm walking away
Yeah I am a girl with a lot on her plate
So just cut me loose, learn to tie your shoes
There's somebody here, I'd like to introduce
So look in the mirror, look for the glass
'Cause you're not my problem, you are my last
No I just don't wanna, so I'm walking away
There is nothing that you can do I will not stay
No I don't need drama, so I'm walking away
Yeah I am a girl with a lot on her plate
No I just don't wanna, so I'm walking away
There is nothing that you can do I will not stay
No I don't need drama, so I'm walking away
I'm just a girl that you lost to cocaine!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 1,307
This morning I found a shirt of his in the hamper - his *smell* all over it....... and I was overcome with SO much flipping emotion. ALL the good just came flooding back. Just thinking of him being here..... and that all is well.
We talked a couple nights ago - love / heart / soul ..... connection. And while that is all fine and dandy - I have got to figure MYSELF out here. I have to stay angry ... I have to realize my worth....... because his WORDS can tell me a whole helluva lot....... but it's now been 25 days...... and I have good days and then I have bad days.
My therapist tells me to feel the feelings........ don't abandon them ....... FEEEEEEEEEEEL them.... and it's OKAY to feel the pain - it's okay to FALL APART and CRY !!!!! JUST RELEASE. And I've been doing that since Sunday ..... and today I just can not let that happen....... I have to swallow my tears and harden my heart - because push has come to shove and my life ..... my children's lives depend on it.......... THEY DEPEND ON ME and I have to sort myself out!
Smelling that shirt ..... was like a trigger - taking me back....... and I quickly went to my friend Sia' .... and that song....... I play it loud - I sing it loud...... and just for a little bit I get that bit of strength! And I visualize those black sandals being strapped on my feet and WALKING ME AWAY!!!!!!
We talked a couple nights ago - love / heart / soul ..... connection. And while that is all fine and dandy - I have got to figure MYSELF out here. I have to stay angry ... I have to realize my worth....... because his WORDS can tell me a whole helluva lot....... but it's now been 25 days...... and I have good days and then I have bad days.
My therapist tells me to feel the feelings........ don't abandon them ....... FEEEEEEEEEEEL them.... and it's OKAY to feel the pain - it's okay to FALL APART and CRY !!!!! JUST RELEASE. And I've been doing that since Sunday ..... and today I just can not let that happen....... I have to swallow my tears and harden my heart - because push has come to shove and my life ..... my children's lives depend on it.......... THEY DEPEND ON ME and I have to sort myself out!
Smelling that shirt ..... was like a trigger - taking me back....... and I quickly went to my friend Sia' .... and that song....... I play it loud - I sing it loud...... and just for a little bit I get that bit of strength! And I visualize those black sandals being strapped on my feet and WALKING ME AWAY!!!!!!
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Hope Land
Posts: 666
I was going to post this but was just reading your post and it happened to me today...a smell...lead to a trigger of an emotional time in the past with my exah. The smell just brought me right back to one horror night and the feelings that came with it. I can't even explain what type of smell it was, not sweet, not roughten or where the smell came from. It was just out of the blue and it took me a couple of minutes to gather my brain back again. I have never had that happen before.
Don't be to hard on yourself or believe that you should have so much will power to shut it all off and make life normal. It is so hard to try to make things right or normal for our children, panicking inside, trying to keep it all together...now we are stressing more. Facts are facts and things aren't normal, so it is an endless battle going no where.
I was in such a square box bouncing off walls. Things could not be normal, so we had to make things different. It wasn't my clear thinking mind that (ya right) thought this is what I have to do. Thanksgiving was coming up, my mind is going going to plan it as we usually did, but somebody was not going to be there, he was in jail. One of my best friends insisted that we come to their family Thanksgiving and to bring a couple of things.
It was perfect, I was content enough to keep myself together, I saw my boys having fun playing videos with other kids, laughing...Christmas was at my mom's we spent a couple of days there, she only lived 10 miles away, but it still got us away.
I had to learn to lean and accept support from other people, come to gripps that I could not do this on my own at that time. We packed up in the summer and went camping with friends. People knew more than I though they knew of what we were going though and were there for me, all that I had to do was accept it.
Just little baby steps, just like on Thanksgiving, 3hours and I was tired out and ready to come home, but it was enough to keep one foot going forward. Had I done the dinner at our home like we usually did, it was going no where, just a sad bunch of faces.
Beleive me, these terrible feelings will not be with you forever. Somedays are going to be harder than others and somedays will be easier.
Rose
Don't be to hard on yourself or believe that you should have so much will power to shut it all off and make life normal. It is so hard to try to make things right or normal for our children, panicking inside, trying to keep it all together...now we are stressing more. Facts are facts and things aren't normal, so it is an endless battle going no where.
I was in such a square box bouncing off walls. Things could not be normal, so we had to make things different. It wasn't my clear thinking mind that (ya right) thought this is what I have to do. Thanksgiving was coming up, my mind is going going to plan it as we usually did, but somebody was not going to be there, he was in jail. One of my best friends insisted that we come to their family Thanksgiving and to bring a couple of things.
It was perfect, I was content enough to keep myself together, I saw my boys having fun playing videos with other kids, laughing...Christmas was at my mom's we spent a couple of days there, she only lived 10 miles away, but it still got us away.
I had to learn to lean and accept support from other people, come to gripps that I could not do this on my own at that time. We packed up in the summer and went camping with friends. People knew more than I though they knew of what we were going though and were there for me, all that I had to do was accept it.
Just little baby steps, just like on Thanksgiving, 3hours and I was tired out and ready to come home, but it was enough to keep one foot going forward. Had I done the dinner at our home like we usually did, it was going no where, just a sad bunch of faces.
Beleive me, these terrible feelings will not be with you forever. Somedays are going to be harder than others and somedays will be easier.
Rose
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