winnie12

so for the last month i've been told that AS is coming home. he was scheduled for release next week - coming home and i had been preparing myself for that. Last week he hit some kid so they have changed their mind on releasing him. I spoke with his PO yesterday who said she didnt know what she was going to do. I talked to him briefly last night and explained that she wasnt going to release him because of the fight. He of course lost it - couldnt seem to understand that she meant it when she said he had to stay out of trouble.

A couple of hours ago she called me and told me that at 3:00 today he is being transported to the Boy's Ranch. I dont know what to think, feel, anything. i'm just in shock. All this time they have gone back and forth telling me he's going/he's coming home/he's going/ he's coming home. I told myself i wouldnt believe anything till i got the call saying he was being picked up or i was to pick him up. Well, now that i have the call i'm just numb. I dont even know if he knows yet and I just pity the poor person having to drive the three hours down there with him. I dont think he's going to take it well at all.

Dont worry all - I know this is his doing, his choices, his consequences, but there is still a part of me that is really going to miss him and was holding out a little hope that he might come home and work it out.

JMFburns

Thanks for the update Winnie.

You know it is where he is supposed to be and his HP is taking care of it. I understand your missing him and holding out some hope, but also know that it probably just a passing thought and it is nice to get the thought out there - to admit it out loud - etc.

Hang in there and seriously - keep enjoying your time of rest. I hope they don't keep messing with you on where he is, where he's going, when, etc., etc., etc. I'm sure that is very stressful.

Joan

ItsmeAlice

I'm sorry this is all such a yo-yo~ What a drama.

He can still come home and work things out only now he has a chance to pick up some more tools to do that work with.

Thank you for the update, it means a lot to everyone here.

Take care of you!

Alice

greeteachday

(((Winnie)))) It's tough dealing with all this, isn't it? I'm sorry there have been so many weeks of the roller coaster. I hope he gets the lesson he needs soon and that when he does come home, things will be very different in a positive way. In the meantime, hope you can enjoy a vacation from drama and focus on you, your daughter and important friendships. Hugs

Chino

I think it's only natural to miss our cubs when they have to leave the den a little early

Prayers for you both.

winnie12

Well that's some choice words considering what ended up happening yesterday. The ranch sent someone to pick him up and my dear son refused to go. These are private places so most of them require that the kid is cooperative. My kid was screaming, cussing everyone out, completely loosing his mind over it. They tried to sit down and talk with him and explain how he didnt hold up his end of the bargain so he lost the chance to come home - he wouldnt listen to anyone. She even tried to explain to him that he could actually get out of the ranch in just a few months if he did well - he wouldnt listen - just screamed and yell and called his PO names - cussed out the guy from the ranch. So she finally said you have a choice to make - you go with them or i send you to jail. he chose jail.

So the PO is now po'd - she realizes she was played and is furious. She says he showed her who he really is and that he has no business being out in society. that when he gets what he wants he's sweet as pie and when he doesnt he goes ballistic. So he is now going to YDC - not the nice holding YDC that he's in now (with all his friends) but the state YDC with kids serving time - many of these kids waiting to turn old enough to finish out their time in adult jail. To top it off she is going to recommend that he get the maximum possible sentence because she thinks if he gets out of there in a few months he's just going to feel like he won and that he is the one in control. She has no idea right now how much time she can give him but its sounding like it could be up to a year - it all depends upon what her supervisiors decide.

He has no idea what he has just done and no one could possibly explain this to him - he's going to have to figure it out on his own. I really wasnt surprised when she called, I was sad and dissapointed in him but i have to say i expected him to freak out. Some day maybe this kid will realize that there are just some people you dont pi$$ off - right now he hasnt learned that.

marle

Winnie, Sending prayers for a better today for you. My daughter can react the same as your son when she does not get what she thinks she is entitled to. Never mind whether she has earned it or not. When she gets like that I shut my mouth and stay out of the way. I know that under all that anger is fear. Good thing that you were not on the receiving end this time. Hugs, Marle

Ann

(((Winnie)) I`m sorry this is unfolding badly, but hang on to your faith that his HP is with him.

Sadly, mental health problems are often a serious part of addiction, and it`s sad that while they are locked up more work isn`t done dealing with anger management and underlying issues that may have been what led them to addiction in the first place.

He had choices and made bad ones...these are part of the lessons they get to learn when we stay out of the way.

Big Hugs

winnie12

Thanks everyone. i'm just sad today. I'm all teary eyed and cant explain why. Guess this is the one place i didnt want to see him go to and its where he's heading - just more proof that i am not in control. I dont feel angry, i dont feel guilty, nothing - just so very sad.

My neice is getting married tomorrow - gonna be hard not having him there. My mom and dad know what's going on but agreed that we'd just keep it to ourselves tomorrow because we dont want to put a damper on the day for my brother's family - they've had a hard few years and need this day of joy. Mom's going to keep close to me and just change the subject if anyone brings it up. I gotta buck up today and get all the tears out so that i can put on a happy face tomorrow. At least i can cry at the wedding and no one will think anything

outtolunch

The realization that we are not in control takes the wind out of our sails.

You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Impurrfect

((Winnie)) - I'm sorry about all of this. I know it hurts. I don't have any great suggestions other than feel the pain, work through it and know that as my very dear friend always tells me "HP's got you in the palm of His hand"..He does your son, too.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

dorton

Oh Winnie, I am so very sorry that this has happened. I hate that it had to be this way but he wasn't ready for the ranch or to try and get well or he wouldn't have thrown such a temper tantrum. Although it hurts try and look at it as if this is where he needs to be at this time. Hopefully he can learn his lesson about what he had done without learning other lessons he doesn't need to learn. You are in my prayers.

NeedingHelp7

Hi Winnie, ....I was hoping if he went anywhere it would be the boys ranch. This is now his journey. I know thats hard to understand, but it helps in the letting go process.

From one mom to another, I'm sending huggs your way, and asking HP to comfort, and guide you through this as well as him.

NH7

Serenity Bound

Winnie, Sending you lots of hugs from one mom to another. It's not always clear for us to see, HP DOES have a plan.

Bless you Winnie,
Chris

JMFburns

Sorry Winnie.

The wedding (any scheduled activity) may just be what you need to keep your mind occupied.

Big hug for you today.