concernedgf

I don’t know if anyone can answer this, but I was at my boyfriend’s house, he is an opiate addict, and he took a call with me in the room and left rather quickly. I overheard him asking the person on the phone if he was sure it was "two doses" because "they looked smaller then last time, maybe more compacted"...? And then he said, "I have the foil, now what?"

That’s all I heard, I tried not to listen. But obviously I was suspicious of him using something? Besides pills? But I don’t know much about drugs other then opiates.

I try and stay unconnected to his addiction, I don’t give him money and I don't see him every day, our relationship is pretty distant actually...No intimacy in about a month, all I’m fine with, but if he is using something besides opiates I want to know, for my own peace of mind.

cessy68

hon, i don't know anything much about drugs.... but I think heroin and foil go together......

urgh.

LOST5280

maybe you should post this in the substance abuse forum, the addicts would know better than us

concernedgf

I did, Thank you.

cmc

The last time I tried to identify a drug was when I discovered a loved one was abusing a substance I had not heard of before. When I called the lab to see if there was a drug test for it, I was told some very wise words:
"It doesn't matter because either way, the results are the same- the drugs will have all the same effects and consequences."
She was right, and those consequences included me. They put _me_ at risk by having them in my home or car- whether they belonged to a friend or a family member would not matter one bit because I was the one who would be held accountable for possession of narcotics and/or paraphernalia.
That day I finally knew that the only thing I could control was my reaction to the insanity of addiction.

outtolunch

It's heroin.

Not sure why you were OK with pills ( synthetic heroin) versus the real thing. As cmc mentioned, it does not matter. Addiction is addiction and it's progressive.

Remember, you can get off the spiral anytime you want.

Done_With_It

Personally I wouldn't have any piece of mind being with an opiate addict or any other type of active addict, it's a sick, toxic world. Your always going to be wondering and guessing what he is up to.

You are better than settling for what you are giving to yourself. Life is short, give yourself the best you deserve.

(((...)))

JMO

concernedgf

Thanks everyone.
And to clarify i am not OK with any drug use, whether it be his pills or anything else. i worry, but i know that i can't make him stop. He has all the tools he needs. He has a sponser and he knows what his addiction is doing to himself and all his relationships, including ours. I don't condone his drug use, and i love him from a distance. As of right now i feel that distance is safe. Im not financially burdened, he doesn't crash at my house, or use my car, we dont have sex anymore, i've put a lot on hold.

Thank you for your responses and advice. i appreciate this forum so much.

concernedgf

When he has a good day, i get a lot out of it. Granted those are only periodic. And when he has a bad day, i stay away. I know it's not the healthiest relationship, and there is no way it will be until he is clean, but i haven't "HAD IT" yet.

I'm not waiting for the day he is clean, or waiting for the day he will say, "i realize all ive put you thru, i love you and appreciate you..yadayada", i dont really feel like im waiting for anything. I just havent "HAD IT" yet...if that makes sense..?

Daisy09

It does make sense.

Abundance

You haven't "had it".... totally makes sense. You haven't hit bottom........ you aren't YET sick and tired of being sick and tired.

YOU have to be ready .... just like addicts have to be ready.

It got to the point that I knew I had to stick with any consequences I was giving.

ONE - don't come here if you are high on opiates.

TWO - if you do a different drug - i.e. - xanax or ritalin - don't snort it at home.

Well, the first one was pretty easy to follow through on because he was taking subutex and the cravings for opiates were not so bad.


The trouble with the second one was that was just me asking him not to snort the rit at home. PFfft... yeah right...... that worked just wonderfully! :::insert sarcastic tone:::: WHAT I didn't do was put a consequence in IF I find out he does snort it in the home.

I would come here and all of the things I read "made sense" - but they didn't register. NOW - they register. WHY? Because I HIT MY BOTTOM!

Anywho - yeah - it probably is heroin. Back in September/October my guy was smoking that shiat! It's nasty. It smells like toast burning. It went on for a few weeks.... and then he went on the subutex.

Can I ask you something though? How much longer do you think you can handle the racing heart, the anxiety, the listening of phone conversations, the feeling of entitlement that you NEED to know what drugs he is doing, not having any honesty in your relationship, walking on egg shells, looking at him when he is talking and wondering what to believe or not to believe out of his "quacking" at that time?

What if - come December - (6 months from now) this is still happening or getting worse ..... and come December you are still giving your energy over to someone in active addiction? If you are still having these conversations in 6 months......... i dunno - maybe to counteract it - you could ALSO make a 6 month goal for your personally?!

Thinking of you............

concernedgf

I go to school in a different state, I only see him about four months out of the year. At this point in both of our lives I think it’s a very good thing. It's not hard to be distant from him, especially when he is dealing with addiction. I have big dreams and aspirations, and I’ll be damned if someone holds me back. Even him.

I think my last straw will be when or if he starts interfering with those goals. I don’t want it to come to that, but if it does. That will be it. So far he has been pretty good about the "loving from a distance" thing. And it sorta working. But i know the things i wasn to accomplish won't get done if my focus is elsewhere, like on him.

Abundance

THAT is awesome!!!!!! So at worst- this addiction thing is an annoyance...... something where you find yourself rubbing your feet together - under the covers - when you are trying to sleep.

Your boundary and consequence is all about how it makes an effect on your life. that is RIGHT ON!!!!!

concernedgf

Well thanks a lot to this forum the past 2 weeks. I was OBSESSED with his addiction, and i came here wanting to know how to "help". I think in my head i knew what everyone was telling me, but my heart didnt really want to believe it.

There have been lots of changes and im working a lot on myself, thanks to great advice from people like you. So thank you.

rahsue

I wish you all the luck in the world. Addiction is so hard to deal with.

whereami

He went to heroin, when oxycontin becomes too expensive for the amount they need, they move to heroin bc it has more bang for the buck. Also the foil is used anytime there is a melting, lighter situation involved. I am so sorry, have you made the decision to remove yourself before you get pulled into this situation? Heroin is scary and it will lead to some pretty nasty after moods the next day. I hope you don't stick around to watch all this?

Callie

I agree with whereami. Heroin is the next step up from opiates. More bang for the buck and it's VERY hard to get off of. My H escalated to Heroin after years of oxy abuse.

Alaia

Perfect sense to me...I am in a similar situation but am pretty close to having had it. But I have been where u have been.