living both sides
mergirl
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Paradise
Posts: 4,161
living both sides
Hi=) My name is Lisa. I came to SR after a horrible night where I drank so much I blacked out, behaved extremely poorly, and had my 21 year old daughter fill me in the next day. I have 6 months sober, after a drinking career that spanned most of 28 years. I do not know if I "qualify" as an alcoholic, as I really had no trouble quitting, but what ever works right?
Shortly after discovering SR, I had my first experience reading about codependency. It was a light bulb moment, and my life has change dramatically for it.
Last night I was skipping around a bit on SR, and read a few posts here, and had another "light bulb moment", although this one felt like a kick in the gut. Apparently being married to a drunk for 15 years has taken it's toll, and I have more work to do here.
So I hope you have room for another spouse of an addict, who also happens to be recovering herself. I would like to join you all here and see if I can make some sense out of some of these icky feelings, and put them to rest once and for all.
Shortly after discovering SR, I had my first experience reading about codependency. It was a light bulb moment, and my life has change dramatically for it.
Last night I was skipping around a bit on SR, and read a few posts here, and had another "light bulb moment", although this one felt like a kick in the gut. Apparently being married to a drunk for 15 years has taken it's toll, and I have more work to do here.
So I hope you have room for another spouse of an addict, who also happens to be recovering herself. I would like to join you all here and see if I can make some sense out of some of these icky feelings, and put them to rest once and for all.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Starting over all over again
Posts: 4,426
Lotsa room, gypsy, and I'm glad you decided to join us. You'll find that what we all have in common is that we feel the same pain for somebody we love. What other programs of recovery you belong to is not an issue around here.
Welcome again
Mike
Welcome again
Mike
Curled up in a good book...
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 1,542
Hiya and welcome!
We have a number of 'double winners' in this forum - you are not alone there!
I'd recommend reading Melody Beatties 'Co-dependent No More' - it was a real eye opener for me and got me started on the path to my recovery. You have an advantage over me when I started - you are already familiar with the 12 steps. The Co-dependent's Guide to the 12 Steps, again by Melody Beattie, might be useful in helping you look at the steps from a different perspective.
If you haven't already, have a look at the sticky posts at the top of the forum - there is a wealth of information and collective wisdom there. When I read them, it was like the scales dropped from my eyes and I could start to see clearly how I had been living. Made for upsetting reading but was so worthwhile.
We have a number of 'double winners' in this forum - you are not alone there!
I'd recommend reading Melody Beatties 'Co-dependent No More' - it was a real eye opener for me and got me started on the path to my recovery. You have an advantage over me when I started - you are already familiar with the 12 steps. The Co-dependent's Guide to the 12 Steps, again by Melody Beattie, might be useful in helping you look at the steps from a different perspective.
If you haven't already, have a look at the sticky posts at the top of the forum - there is a wealth of information and collective wisdom there. When I read them, it was like the scales dropped from my eyes and I could start to see clearly how I had been living. Made for upsetting reading but was so worthwhile.
peaceful seabird
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: floating
Posts: 4,822
Hey Gypsy!
Congratulations on your sober time! I discovered SR when I quit drinking, too. I was also married to my drinking partner of 14 years when I got sober. I lived with alcohol in my home for the first 6 months of my sobriety. Then we seperated. I had gotten sober and was working on recovering physically, mentally, and spiritually. My partner seemed to be rebelling against my growth.
I came here and began reading the forums and the stickies at the top. The most helpful for me was the post on Recovery, with the subsection on Hooks that keep you in boundary-less relationships. Here's the link:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...tionships.html
I realized a lot about myself in studying co-dependancy and addiction. You'll meet other double winners here, too. They have a lot of wisdom to share!!!
I am thankful for the opportunity to share my personal experiences with others both as an addict and as someone who loves an addict. My addict is now sober and working his 12 steps with a sponsor. We support each other in our growth, from a distance of 100 miles. I have attended AA as well as Al anon meetings. I have met people at Al Anon that are also double winners.
So pull up a chair and make yourself at home.
Congratulations on your sober time! I discovered SR when I quit drinking, too. I was also married to my drinking partner of 14 years when I got sober. I lived with alcohol in my home for the first 6 months of my sobriety. Then we seperated. I had gotten sober and was working on recovering physically, mentally, and spiritually. My partner seemed to be rebelling against my growth.
I came here and began reading the forums and the stickies at the top. The most helpful for me was the post on Recovery, with the subsection on Hooks that keep you in boundary-less relationships. Here's the link:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...tionships.html
I realized a lot about myself in studying co-dependancy and addiction. You'll meet other double winners here, too. They have a lot of wisdom to share!!!
I am thankful for the opportunity to share my personal experiences with others both as an addict and as someone who loves an addict. My addict is now sober and working his 12 steps with a sponsor. We support each other in our growth, from a distance of 100 miles. I have attended AA as well as Al anon meetings. I have met people at Al Anon that are also double winners.
So pull up a chair and make yourself at home.
Belgian Sheepdog Adictee
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: In Today
Posts: 6,101
(((((Lisa)))))
Welcome to the 'codie' side, lol
I have been in AA and Al-Anon for a very very long time now. They both have helped me tremendously!!!!!
Some Al-Anon folks call us "Double Winners". Congrats on sober time!!
Al-Anon will definitely give you a different 'perspective' on the 12 steps but it is ALL GOOD. I have said many times that Al-Anon has really helped me as much as AA and sometimes more than AA in working on my "issues."
Good to see your here!
Love and hugs,
Welcome to the 'codie' side, lol
I have been in AA and Al-Anon for a very very long time now. They both have helped me tremendously!!!!!
Some Al-Anon folks call us "Double Winners". Congrats on sober time!!
Al-Anon will definitely give you a different 'perspective' on the 12 steps but it is ALL GOOD. I have said many times that Al-Anon has really helped me as much as AA and sometimes more than AA in working on my "issues."
Good to see your here!
Love and hugs,
mergirl
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Paradise
Posts: 4,161
Thanks all for the welcome! I would like to share a bit of my so familiar story, but waking up at 5am makes me soooo sleepy=)
Laurie, I actually have very little understanding of the steps as I have never been to a meeting of any sort. My only knowledge comes from books and this site so far.
Laurie, I actually have very little understanding of the steps as I have never been to a meeting of any sort. My only knowledge comes from books and this site so far.
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