wish him die
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wish him die
watching him sleeping on the sofa is killing me! when he is at work he is sober. but when he is home, he is drunk. so all i see from him is a drunk man.
i can talk to him only when he is back from work. i have half an hour to communicate with him. then he goes God know where?. sometimes i hate myself because i wish him dead. i really wish him die. he is killing himself by poisionig with alcohol. so why he is torturing himself day by day. why he doesn't go with heart attach! why he is not dieing?
i can talk to him only when he is back from work. i have half an hour to communicate with him. then he goes God know where?. sometimes i hate myself because i wish him dead. i really wish him die. he is killing himself by poisionig with alcohol. so why he is torturing himself day by day. why he doesn't go with heart attach! why he is not dieing?
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Location: Manchester UK
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Originally Posted by marty888 
If you feel that way, my advice would be to get out of the relationship as soon as you can.
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i love him when he is sober. i hate him when he is drunk, when he doesn't rispect me, when he lies to me. the problem is that i don't know how can i convince him to quit. i know he can. maybe he doesn't love me enough to quit for me.
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Wales
Posts: 523
Sara you cannot convince him to stop. Stop wasting your energy trying to save him, and start saving yourself. This is a progressive disease it will get worse unless HE decides to stop, it may never happen.
If all addicts/alcoholics could stop in the name of love this forum would be non existent.
Is there alanon near you? start putting bounderies in place all you can do my friend is make things better for you.
gill
If all addicts/alcoholics could stop in the name of love this forum would be non existent.
Is there alanon near you? start putting bounderies in place all you can do my friend is make things better for you.
gill
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 43
Many of us understand the love/hate relationship with an alcoholic. They can be this wonderful person one minute and shortly later become our worst nightmare ... and this happens over and over again. Nothing we say or do seems to make any long term changes in the alcoholic.
This is what alcohol addiction does to people ... it turns our lives upside down and keeps us in constant turmoil. They will make promises to change - then transform back into this offensive hateful person we don't begin to understand.
One of the most important things I ever learned about alcoholism, is that alcohol will come first, everyone and everything else will come in second as long as the alcoholic is not in recovery ... no matter what they tell you. We learn that we are helpless to fix someone else's addiction, it is too powerful and does not respond to reason ... we can only step aside and protect ourselves.
There is so much that can be learned here ... please read the posts under classic reading at the top of the page. It will provide you with an incredible amount of wisdom into what it is like to share your life with an alcoholic - and how to move forward to a more peaceful & healthier future.
This is what alcohol addiction does to people ... it turns our lives upside down and keeps us in constant turmoil. They will make promises to change - then transform back into this offensive hateful person we don't begin to understand.
One of the most important things I ever learned about alcoholism, is that alcohol will come first, everyone and everything else will come in second as long as the alcoholic is not in recovery ... no matter what they tell you. We learn that we are helpless to fix someone else's addiction, it is too powerful and does not respond to reason ... we can only step aside and protect ourselves.
There is so much that can be learned here ... please read the posts under classic reading at the top of the page. It will provide you with an incredible amount of wisdom into what it is like to share your life with an alcoholic - and how to move forward to a more peaceful & healthier future.
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Australia
Posts: 580
Sara, you cannot make him stop. I am an alcoholic and I was only able to stop for ME no one else. Those that loved me pleaded and begged me to stop, I just had another drink so I didnt have to listen.
It was only when I truly wanted to stop for myself that I did.
It was only when I truly wanted to stop for myself that I did.
Last edited by marty888; 07-02-2009 at 06:26 AM. Reason: double post
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Originally Posted by sara1971
so why he is torturing himself day by day.
Then I learned about alcoholism. My prayers are for you.
A jug fills drop by drop
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
hi sara!
i am sorry you are hurting... don't you miss the sara you were before you realized your AH's problem?
you can be that sara again, but it will involve taking some decisions.... would you be able to reach out and consult a psychologist or counselor? remember you have control of your own life and you do not "have to" do anything, everything is about choices...
i hope you seek help and keep posting ((hugs))
i am sorry you are hurting... don't you miss the sara you were before you realized your AH's problem?
you can be that sara again, but it will involve taking some decisions.... would you be able to reach out and consult a psychologist or counselor? remember you have control of your own life and you do not "have to" do anything, everything is about choices...
i hope you seek help and keep posting ((hugs))
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Here, Now
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I recommend you seek out a good therapist. These thoughts and feelings you are having are toxic and will impact your physical and emotional well-being. You cannot change your husband but you can take care of yourself. Seek out help and support get away if you must check out alonon, whatever it takes, but wishing him dead will not bring you peace or resolve your problem.
"You can explore the universe looking for somebody who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and you will not find that person anywhere."
Sharon Salzberg
Namaste
"You can explore the universe looking for somebody who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and you will not find that person anywhere."
Sharon Salzberg
Namaste
A jug fills drop by drop
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
Here I am again...
i love him when he is sober. i hate him when he is drunk
Oh I know that feeling... the thing is that you cannot "pick" the sober one only. Its the whole deal. They are the same person.
For me feeling angry and wishing the other person bad stuff... granted was not my best time.., but helped me move forward and say "I am worth more than this"... rather than staying crying all the time, hope its your case too and your anger motivates you to take actions to protect yourself...
i love him when he is sober. i hate him when he is drunk
Oh I know that feeling... the thing is that you cannot "pick" the sober one only. Its the whole deal. They are the same person.
For me feeling angry and wishing the other person bad stuff... granted was not my best time.., but helped me move forward and say "I am worth more than this"... rather than staying crying all the time, hope its your case too and your anger motivates you to take actions to protect yourself...
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Boston
Posts: 2,936
i really wish him die. he is killing himself by poisionig with alcohol. so why he is torturing himself day by day. why he doesn't go with heart attach! why he is not dieing?
Sara--
Wishing someone dead who you "love" is a sign.
He may be poisoning himself with alcohol but what do you think the effect of that poisonous thinking will be on YOU and YOUR brain?
When I started wishing my exH dead I thought, wow, who have I become? I gotta get away from this relationship and get MY head back on straight.
Life got a whole lot better when I let him go and focused on getting myself to a mentally healthy place. Painful? Yes. Difficult? Of course. But worth it.
There are no shortcuts to anyplace that is really worth going!
Wishing my exH dead meant I had an image of myself suddenly free from the torture. It meant I fantasized about a "clean-break" without all the effort required on my part or the hassle of his reactions. But I held the key, all along, to release myself from that prison both mentally and physically. But I had to accept that it was going to take work. And effort.
When I accepted that he wasn't going to just go "poof" and disappear, and I accepted that I had to take steps to change my life, it was hard, but it was the only way I could actually begin to make changes in REALITY!.
The past is gone. You are free in this moment.
Peace-
b
Sara--
Wishing someone dead who you "love" is a sign.
He may be poisoning himself with alcohol but what do you think the effect of that poisonous thinking will be on YOU and YOUR brain?
When I started wishing my exH dead I thought, wow, who have I become? I gotta get away from this relationship and get MY head back on straight.
Life got a whole lot better when I let him go and focused on getting myself to a mentally healthy place. Painful? Yes. Difficult? Of course. But worth it.
There are no shortcuts to anyplace that is really worth going!
Wishing my exH dead meant I had an image of myself suddenly free from the torture. It meant I fantasized about a "clean-break" without all the effort required on my part or the hassle of his reactions. But I held the key, all along, to release myself from that prison both mentally and physically. But I had to accept that it was going to take work. And effort.
When I accepted that he wasn't going to just go "poof" and disappear, and I accepted that I had to take steps to change my life, it was hard, but it was the only way I could actually begin to make changes in REALITY!.
The past is gone. You are free in this moment.
Peace-
b
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