3 weeks today and a share....
Beating this demon for GOOD
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 143
3 weeks today and a share....
Good morning everyone,
I am at three weeks sober today and am thrilled to no longer be drinking! I have my days like we all do, but I am actually shocked that (gasp!) I no longer WANT to drink, I just don't have the desire to. I know what even ONE will do and what hell it will lead to and am not even willing to entertain going back down that fiery, foggy, horrible road. I feel guilty just looking at alcohol sometimes, and I think that is a GOOD thing! I have never felt like this before now! And I oftentimes think of how many years I have wasted in a perpetual fog, and how many years I have left to live in the present with a clear mind, and that keeps me on this track! It's GREAT!
Here is something that makes me chuckle (happened yesterday) that really drives home how this has not only affected my own life, but the lives of my loved ones as well (for the better). My older brother is having a cookout on Friday, wherein many people, family, friends, and also his direct reports (he's a manager) will be present. He called me yesterday to tell me the time that hubs, kids and I should come, and also stated that he felt sort of "in an awkward position." When I asked him why, he asked me outright if I had started drinking again (a VERY very common pattern in my past after about a week or so of stopping and we haven't talked in a while). I told him very honestly that I was happy to say I was still clean and sober, I was not drinking and that I had no plans to. He sounded very relieved (you could hear it in his voice) and then stated that had I started drinking again, he would have asked me to not come to his cookout/get together, so there would be no chance of any "drama or scenes" especially in front of his work colleagues. In other words, he didn't want to take the chance of having his drunk sister show up that way, get out of control and totally hurt his job possibly (this is a new job for him and a higher position, he's only been with this company four months). I kind of giggled and told him to not worry at all, I wasn't at all offended (I wasn't and still am not) and that I didn't blame him at all. I also told him if the tables were turned, I would likely be doing the same thing he was doing. He then really made me laugh when he said, "I know for SURE you're not drinking anymore, if you were, you would have already sworn at me, called me every name in the book, and hung up on me by now." HOW TRUE THIS IS!!!!
Hubby and I have a close family friend who drinks HEAVILY and whenever she calls, I sort of cringe. I used to do the SAME THING! I never realized how obnoxious it can be to try to "converse" with a drunk person, slurring their words, repeating themselves over and over, and talking about nothing but themselves, then getting weepy and stuff. Then they don't have any recollection of conversations the next day! It's really annoying and I used to do it all the time!!!
Anyhow, just thought I would share this. Had this been in my drinking days, my brother is right. I would have gotten VERY defensive, "insulted", blah blah blah. But he really seemed relieved, especially because I didn't take it personally in anyway. He almost seemed surprised that I didn't! I take this as progress!!!
I am at three weeks sober today and am thrilled to no longer be drinking! I have my days like we all do, but I am actually shocked that (gasp!) I no longer WANT to drink, I just don't have the desire to. I know what even ONE will do and what hell it will lead to and am not even willing to entertain going back down that fiery, foggy, horrible road. I feel guilty just looking at alcohol sometimes, and I think that is a GOOD thing! I have never felt like this before now! And I oftentimes think of how many years I have wasted in a perpetual fog, and how many years I have left to live in the present with a clear mind, and that keeps me on this track! It's GREAT!
Here is something that makes me chuckle (happened yesterday) that really drives home how this has not only affected my own life, but the lives of my loved ones as well (for the better). My older brother is having a cookout on Friday, wherein many people, family, friends, and also his direct reports (he's a manager) will be present. He called me yesterday to tell me the time that hubs, kids and I should come, and also stated that he felt sort of "in an awkward position." When I asked him why, he asked me outright if I had started drinking again (a VERY very common pattern in my past after about a week or so of stopping and we haven't talked in a while). I told him very honestly that I was happy to say I was still clean and sober, I was not drinking and that I had no plans to. He sounded very relieved (you could hear it in his voice) and then stated that had I started drinking again, he would have asked me to not come to his cookout/get together, so there would be no chance of any "drama or scenes" especially in front of his work colleagues. In other words, he didn't want to take the chance of having his drunk sister show up that way, get out of control and totally hurt his job possibly (this is a new job for him and a higher position, he's only been with this company four months). I kind of giggled and told him to not worry at all, I wasn't at all offended (I wasn't and still am not) and that I didn't blame him at all. I also told him if the tables were turned, I would likely be doing the same thing he was doing. He then really made me laugh when he said, "I know for SURE you're not drinking anymore, if you were, you would have already sworn at me, called me every name in the book, and hung up on me by now." HOW TRUE THIS IS!!!!
Hubby and I have a close family friend who drinks HEAVILY and whenever she calls, I sort of cringe. I used to do the SAME THING! I never realized how obnoxious it can be to try to "converse" with a drunk person, slurring their words, repeating themselves over and over, and talking about nothing but themselves, then getting weepy and stuff. Then they don't have any recollection of conversations the next day! It's really annoying and I used to do it all the time!!!
Anyhow, just thought I would share this. Had this been in my drinking days, my brother is right. I would have gotten VERY defensive, "insulted", blah blah blah. But he really seemed relieved, especially because I didn't take it personally in anyway. He almost seemed surprised that I didn't! I take this as progress!!!
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