Alcoholic and Cocaine Addict? don't know what to think about this.
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Join Date: May 2009
Location: Vancouver, BC
Posts: 10
Alcoholic and Cocaine Addict? don't know what to think about this.
I recently found out that my XAH was addicted to cocaine as well as A. I have my understanding of A but don't know how to wrap my head around C. I am a woman who drinks occassionally and never did drugs. I just don't know what or how to think about this. Thanks
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Stumbling toward happiness
Posts: 4,706
Hmmm. Pretty common thing, really.
He's addicted to mood-altering chemicals, which make him feel okay about life. You're not, and you don't need that to feel good about life.
You don't have to be around him any more....what is it you're trying to figure out?
He's addicted to mood-altering chemicals, which make him feel okay about life. You're not, and you don't need that to feel good about life.
You don't have to be around him any more....what is it you're trying to figure out?
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Tampa, Florida
Posts: 108
Hello,
Give love is right. I'm not really sure it matters how the A alters his mind and perception of things. As long as he's not thinking clearly and blocking everything out, it can be any type of drug.
But the others are right. It's just another reassurance that you did the right thing. Now if you had ANY doubt in your mind that leaving was right, it should be gone now. It doesn't change anything. If it went from alcohol to cocain, who knows what would have been next. Heroin? Extasy?
I know it can be dissapointing to know that you weren't aware of it, and it was another thing he was lying about. But just another good reason to tell yourself your happier that you've moved on. Stop living in the past! Life is too short.
Give love is right. I'm not really sure it matters how the A alters his mind and perception of things. As long as he's not thinking clearly and blocking everything out, it can be any type of drug.
But the others are right. It's just another reassurance that you did the right thing. Now if you had ANY doubt in your mind that leaving was right, it should be gone now. It doesn't change anything. If it went from alcohol to cocain, who knows what would have been next. Heroin? Extasy?
I know it can be dissapointing to know that you weren't aware of it, and it was another thing he was lying about. But just another good reason to tell yourself your happier that you've moved on. Stop living in the past! Life is too short.
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Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: where the streets have no name
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if u speak to coke/alc recovering addicts they will tell you the alcohol helps to come down from the coke so they can sleep(and vice a versa) or use more coke, or. alcohol, or both
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Join Date: May 2009
Location: UK
Posts: 96
I found out after my STBEXAH left that he had been taking cocaine..it shocked me at the time but what everyone says is right, who wants to be around that, no wonder he was videoing himself staring at the camera in a mad way!!! Heaven knows what his brain was doing, he was also on prozac, what a combo! I know its hard not to wonder about it and also to feel yet further betrayed..whilst my AH left me, 5 months later, my life is soo much calmer. It was suggested to me that I write down all the things I could about my AH good and bad and decide if I was given a CV with "would you like to meet this man" what would I have said! You know the answer..ooh drunk, embarrassing, silent, cruel, takes hard drugs, stays out all night, good builder....speaks for itself. It does hurt I know, because he even told people to "not tell me", like I was his keeper!! But knowing it helped me know it was better to be without him than with him. Hugs Lilly.
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Middle of the U.S.
Posts: 85
I feel you, hellokittyII. I found out a few weeks ago that mine was/is using crack as well. I was blown away, as I'd thought he was above that. I was also upset with myself that I didn't figure it out when we were still together. I had to process it for awhile, as I have strong feelings about that drug.
The positive side is it validated my decision to leave exponentially.
The positive side is it validated my decision to leave exponentially.
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: California
Posts: 131
From Wikipedia....
Polysubstance dependence is a pattern of abuse of three or more psychoactive substances (often simultaneously), in which no one substance predominates. The pattern of abuse does not meet the criteria of physical dependence for any one specific substance, but constitutes psychological dependence when considering the drugs as a group.
A polysubstance abuser typically does not have a a drug of choice, but is instead addicted to "not being sober".
My AGF is a polysubstance abuser:
1. Alcohol
2. Cocaine
3. Atavan
4. Pain killers
According to the staff at her treatment center.... it is VERY common
Polysubstance dependence is a pattern of abuse of three or more psychoactive substances (often simultaneously), in which no one substance predominates. The pattern of abuse does not meet the criteria of physical dependence for any one specific substance, but constitutes psychological dependence when considering the drugs as a group.
A polysubstance abuser typically does not have a a drug of choice, but is instead addicted to "not being sober".
My AGF is a polysubstance abuser:
1. Alcohol
2. Cocaine
3. Atavan
4. Pain killers
According to the staff at her treatment center.... it is VERY common
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Vancouver, BC
Posts: 10
thanks everyone for your reply. I think I am just in shock still. I ask myself. How the hell did I get here? I didn't grow up with this , the men I dated beofre this were"normal". I thought every lie that this was the last one but no. How the hell did that sweet man I marry end up like someone I don't even know?? It's hard moving on when you have a 5 yr and a 3 yr old crying for there daddy. But I will be dammed to put them back in this kind of crazy life again. My X lives in another province and we still have to go through the divorce paper work so I know there will be more "what the hell" moments to come. Life is so much better with out him in my life. The one phrase I read on this forum was "If nothing changes, nothing will change" If you told that to me last year I would not of understood what it meant but this phrase is what has been carrying me through since the end of April.
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Washington State
Posts: 75
Hi Hello Kitty II,
On the bus ride home I passed a bar with "shipwreck lounge" on the sign. I flashed back to a night about a year ago where XBF said he ran into a guy at the four blocks away local bar who wanted to go to this other bar to get cocaine. He came home completely off his rocker, convinced they'd stolen his wallet. He'd dropped it on the floor of his own car. So anyhow, today flash back to that night he tried to run me over with his car. It's the only night he was so positively oddly out of his head. And just today, today, it occured to me while I was passing that other bar, yeah, they likely did find coke that night. I remember the panic I felt when I answered the phone and he said "they're coming after me! don't hang up, they're going to get me!" because he was so out of his head. I went into take care of him mode, rescue mode. I'm reading your post and thinking to myself, big sigh. Yes, I'm releived that I'm not trying to make his issues my issues any more. Except for this here post, right? Yay!
Yep, I'm with you on the how could I be so blind? And sleeping pills, etc. We broke up and he offered me Vicodin (sp?), I ask "where'd you get it?" - he answers "from the getting place". I honestly don't know what it is except I think it's a pain killer. Anything to avoid being sober. Anything to avoid feeling. Reminds me of the quote in that cool signature line: engaging with insanity just makes you insane.
On the bus ride home I passed a bar with "shipwreck lounge" on the sign. I flashed back to a night about a year ago where XBF said he ran into a guy at the four blocks away local bar who wanted to go to this other bar to get cocaine. He came home completely off his rocker, convinced they'd stolen his wallet. He'd dropped it on the floor of his own car. So anyhow, today flash back to that night he tried to run me over with his car. It's the only night he was so positively oddly out of his head. And just today, today, it occured to me while I was passing that other bar, yeah, they likely did find coke that night. I remember the panic I felt when I answered the phone and he said "they're coming after me! don't hang up, they're going to get me!" because he was so out of his head. I went into take care of him mode, rescue mode. I'm reading your post and thinking to myself, big sigh. Yes, I'm releived that I'm not trying to make his issues my issues any more. Except for this here post, right? Yay!
Yep, I'm with you on the how could I be so blind? And sleeping pills, etc. We broke up and he offered me Vicodin (sp?), I ask "where'd you get it?" - he answers "from the getting place". I honestly don't know what it is except I think it's a pain killer. Anything to avoid being sober. Anything to avoid feeling. Reminds me of the quote in that cool signature line: engaging with insanity just makes you insane.
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Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: where the streets have no name
Posts: 1,078
Originally Posted by TrainWreckAgain 
From Wikipedia....
Polysubstance dependence is a pattern of abuse of three or more psychoactive substances (often simultaneously), in which no one substance predominates. The pattern of abuse does not meet the criteria of physical dependence for any one specific substance, but constitutes psychological dependence when considering the drugs as a group.
A polysubstance abuser typically does not have a a drug of choice, but is instead addicted to "not being sober".
My AGF is a polysubstance abuser:
1. Alcohol
2. Cocaine
3. Atavan
4. Pain killers
According to the staff at her treatment center.... it is VERY common
Polysubstance dependence is a pattern of abuse of three or more psychoactive substances (often simultaneously), in which no one substance predominates. The pattern of abuse does not meet the criteria of physical dependence for any one specific substance, but constitutes psychological dependence when considering the drugs as a group.
A polysubstance abuser typically does not have a a drug of choice, but is instead addicted to "not being sober".
My AGF is a polysubstance abuser:
1. Alcohol
2. Cocaine
3. Atavan
4. Pain killers
According to the staff at her treatment center.... it is VERY common
It used to be acceptable to refer to someone like this as being addicted or abusing. Currently it is politically correct to call them "users"
Addicts were being stigmatized and unfairly labeled; geez, imagine that, wouldn't want to hurt their feelings would we?
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