New Guy Here...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Baltimore, MD
Posts: 3
New Guy Here...
Hello everyone,
I've been drinking for years. I'm 27 years old, male. While im fine without drinking... its when i get in the bar/club/party environment that i take it too far. More recently is when it has become a problem as i've been very argumentative with my girlfriend when i'm drunk. Sure there are things on my mind that bother me, but when they come out when im drunk she takes me less seriously.
About a month ago i lashed out in anger and broke a glass window at a bar. No one was to blame but myself, the situation at hand was perceived incorrectly in my drunken state and as a result i needed to get 38 stitches in my right arm. That was the first time i got physically violent while drunk.
Since then, i've made an ass out of myself every weekend when we'd go out to drink. She keeps telling me to just have "one or two" but its not that easy. I tell her that if she really wants me to do better that we should stay out of the bars/clubs for a while but she thinks its "unfair" to keep her away from that scene since i cant keep my cool.
Last saturday we had another argument where i got in my car and drove home. I wanted to get in a cab and go home (the club wasnt for me that night and i had been out on a bachelor party all afternoon) and she insisted on driving me. Then she complained about how because i couldnt handle myself i forced her to leave early. So of course i didnt like that and we started arguing. I got in my car and drove home. She called me to make sure i got home ok but now she doesnt want to see me until i get my stuff together.
First, i dont know what to do with my relationship but thats for a different time. I know that i'm on the path of destruction and i want to stop drinking all together. Last december i quit smoking cold turkey and i havent had a cigarette since (after 8 years of smoking) so i dont think it will be that hard to not drink at all (as opposed to keeping it at one or two).
I look around and see alot of great support in here, and hope i can offer the same to all of you.
Looking forward to being strong together!!!
I've been drinking for years. I'm 27 years old, male. While im fine without drinking... its when i get in the bar/club/party environment that i take it too far. More recently is when it has become a problem as i've been very argumentative with my girlfriend when i'm drunk. Sure there are things on my mind that bother me, but when they come out when im drunk she takes me less seriously.
About a month ago i lashed out in anger and broke a glass window at a bar. No one was to blame but myself, the situation at hand was perceived incorrectly in my drunken state and as a result i needed to get 38 stitches in my right arm. That was the first time i got physically violent while drunk.
Since then, i've made an ass out of myself every weekend when we'd go out to drink. She keeps telling me to just have "one or two" but its not that easy. I tell her that if she really wants me to do better that we should stay out of the bars/clubs for a while but she thinks its "unfair" to keep her away from that scene since i cant keep my cool.
Last saturday we had another argument where i got in my car and drove home. I wanted to get in a cab and go home (the club wasnt for me that night and i had been out on a bachelor party all afternoon) and she insisted on driving me. Then she complained about how because i couldnt handle myself i forced her to leave early. So of course i didnt like that and we started arguing. I got in my car and drove home. She called me to make sure i got home ok but now she doesnt want to see me until i get my stuff together.
First, i dont know what to do with my relationship but thats for a different time. I know that i'm on the path of destruction and i want to stop drinking all together. Last december i quit smoking cold turkey and i havent had a cigarette since (after 8 years of smoking) so i dont think it will be that hard to not drink at all (as opposed to keeping it at one or two).
I look around and see alot of great support in here, and hope i can offer the same to all of you.
Looking forward to being strong together!!!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,369
Hi DGI
Welcome to SR
I hope you won't have any trouble giving up alcohol too...but very few of us have found that to be easy....and you'll hear about that LOL
Read around - find out what other people have done, what programmes they used - as you've seen, this place is a great support. Lean on us when you need to.
D
Welcome to SR
I hope you won't have any trouble giving up alcohol too...but very few of us have found that to be easy....and you'll hear about that LOL
Read around - find out what other people have done, what programmes they used - as you've seen, this place is a great support. Lean on us when you need to.
D
Living in sobriety
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 3,870
I know that i'm on the path of destruction and i want to stop drinking all together.
Welcome DGI .......whatever way you try to do it.... your intensions are good and you will find lots of support here. Plenty of food for thought.
I gave up alcohol many years ago and find my life is much better since. I am an alcoholic and use the support of alcoholics anonymous.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Nebraska
Posts: 423
DGI - Just quit for one month. If you can do so easily, go out and never have more than two drinks. Nonalcoholics can do that without even thinking about it.
If you can't do it and you work, check to see if your company offers an EAP. Get an evaluation and see where you stand - It sounds like a hard road, and it is, but it is much better than the road you are on now.
I have been sober for close to six years and I do my best to not step foot in a bar or liquor store, let alone go to them 2-3 times per week.
Use this site and the internet to learn more about alcoholism. It is very hard to quit on your own - I know I tried about 500 times and failed each time!
I hate to give relationship advice, but maybe it is time to focus on yourself now. It sounds like your girlfriend is close to agreeing with that anyway.
Good luck and keep us posted.
Dave
If you can't do it and you work, check to see if your company offers an EAP. Get an evaluation and see where you stand - It sounds like a hard road, and it is, but it is much better than the road you are on now.
I have been sober for close to six years and I do my best to not step foot in a bar or liquor store, let alone go to them 2-3 times per week.
Use this site and the internet to learn more about alcoholism. It is very hard to quit on your own - I know I tried about 500 times and failed each time!
I hate to give relationship advice, but maybe it is time to focus on yourself now. It sounds like your girlfriend is close to agreeing with that anyway.
Good luck and keep us posted.
Dave
Heathen
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: La La Land, USA
Posts: 2,567
You're right, not drinking at all is WAY easier than playing the "only 1 or 2" game.. completely takes the thought and decision making out of it. As for the GF, ya know we're real asses when we overdrink. Maybe with some sober time she'll see you do have your stuff togehter and you'll be great together. However.. if her giving up the bars/clubs scene is more important to her than your recovery.. might wanna think on that a bit too.
Welcome!!
Welcome!!
To thine own self be true
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: New York
Posts: 756
Originally Posted by DGI 
Hello everyone,
I've been drinking for years. I'm 27 years old, male. While im fine without drinking... its when i get in the bar/club/party environment that i take it too far. More recently is when it has become a problem as i've been very argumentative with my girlfriend when i'm drunk. Sure there are things on my mind that bother me, but when they come out when im drunk she takes me less seriously.
About a month ago i lashed out in anger and broke a glass window at a bar. No one was to blame but myself, the situation at hand was perceived incorrectly in my drunken state and as a result i needed to get 38 stitches in my right arm. That was the first time i got physically violent while drunk.
Since then, i've made an ass out of myself every weekend when we'd go out to drink. She keeps telling me to just have "one or two" but its not that easy. I tell her that if she really wants me to do better that we should stay out of the bars/clubs for a while but she thinks its "unfair" to keep her away from that scene since i cant keep my cool.
Last saturday we had another argument where i got in my car and drove home. I wanted to get in a cab and go home (the club wasnt for me that night and i had been out on a bachelor party all afternoon) and she insisted on driving me. Then she complained about how because i couldnt handle myself i forced her to leave early. So of course i didnt like that and we started arguing. I got in my car and drove home. She called me to make sure i got home ok but now she doesnt want to see me until i get my stuff together.
First, i dont know what to do with my relationship but thats for a different time. I know that i'm on the path of destruction and i want to stop drinking all together. Last december i quit smoking cold turkey and i havent had a cigarette since (after 8 years of smoking) so i dont think it will be that hard to not drink at all (as opposed to keeping it at one or two).
I look around and see alot of great support in here, and hope i can offer the same to all of you.
Looking forward to being strong together!!!
I've been drinking for years. I'm 27 years old, male. While im fine without drinking... its when i get in the bar/club/party environment that i take it too far. More recently is when it has become a problem as i've been very argumentative with my girlfriend when i'm drunk. Sure there are things on my mind that bother me, but when they come out when im drunk she takes me less seriously.
About a month ago i lashed out in anger and broke a glass window at a bar. No one was to blame but myself, the situation at hand was perceived incorrectly in my drunken state and as a result i needed to get 38 stitches in my right arm. That was the first time i got physically violent while drunk.
Since then, i've made an ass out of myself every weekend when we'd go out to drink. She keeps telling me to just have "one or two" but its not that easy. I tell her that if she really wants me to do better that we should stay out of the bars/clubs for a while but she thinks its "unfair" to keep her away from that scene since i cant keep my cool.
Last saturday we had another argument where i got in my car and drove home. I wanted to get in a cab and go home (the club wasnt for me that night and i had been out on a bachelor party all afternoon) and she insisted on driving me. Then she complained about how because i couldnt handle myself i forced her to leave early. So of course i didnt like that and we started arguing. I got in my car and drove home. She called me to make sure i got home ok but now she doesnt want to see me until i get my stuff together.
First, i dont know what to do with my relationship but thats for a different time. I know that i'm on the path of destruction and i want to stop drinking all together. Last december i quit smoking cold turkey and i havent had a cigarette since (after 8 years of smoking) so i dont think it will be that hard to not drink at all (as opposed to keeping it at one or two).
I look around and see alot of great support in here, and hope i can offer the same to all of you.
Looking forward to being strong together!!!
Welcome
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,279
Welcome DGI, I completely understand your story... actually I have lived it. Nice to see you are here looking for help at 27... I wish I was here 10 years ago.
Take care & stay close, I am also a binge drinker. We tend to think because we don't drink everyday its ok... well, its not.
Good luck on your recovery
NB
Take care & stay close, I am also a binge drinker. We tend to think because we don't drink everyday its ok... well, its not.
Good luck on your recovery
NB
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Birmingham, AL
Posts: 14
Your story sounds very familiar to me DGI. I haven't had a drink in just over a week, but was a binge drinker who frequented the bars just as you did, and once I started I never stopped. Glad you're here. This place will allow you to share your experiences, and focusing on that and interracting with the people here is something I've been using to occupy my time rather than drinking. Welcome!!!
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Baltimore has a lot of drinking establishments .
Baltimore has a lot of AA meetings.
You have a choice to hang out in either....
Good to know you are planning to cut
out risky behavior.
Welcome to SR...keep posting with us
Baltimore has a lot of AA meetings.
You have a choice to hang out in either....
Good to know you are planning to cut
out risky behavior.
Welcome to SR...keep posting with us
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Welcome to SR DGI, some folks can simply quit drinking all together with no problems, some can't, I am among those who quit hundreds of times but could never stay quit.... I am an alcoholic. Alcoholism I can attest to is a progressive disease, the longer I drank the worse it got.
Long story short in order to stay stopped I went straight to AA out of detox and found a whole new life that I never dreamed possible, even sitting on a bar stool I never dreamed I would have the life I have today.
If you can stop and stay stopped with no issues that is awesome, BUT if you find you can not stay stopped then I would suggest checking out a long term recovery program of some sort and working it. I use AA but there are others as well.
I can tell you from experience that there is some awesome folks in AA in the Baltimore area, I went to a ton of meetings at the Agape group, great people with some good solid sobriety.
Stay in touch, let us know how you are doing and feel free to ask questions.
Long story short in order to stay stopped I went straight to AA out of detox and found a whole new life that I never dreamed possible, even sitting on a bar stool I never dreamed I would have the life I have today.
If you can stop and stay stopped with no issues that is awesome, BUT if you find you can not stay stopped then I would suggest checking out a long term recovery program of some sort and working it. I use AA but there are others as well.
I can tell you from experience that there is some awesome folks in AA in the Baltimore area, I went to a ton of meetings at the Agape group, great people with some good solid sobriety.
Stay in touch, let us know how you are doing and feel free to ask questions.
jimbo
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: london berks England
Posts: 426
first well done to you
i have told my gf that i cant go to pubs or anywhere where people are relying on booze to make them have a good time .if she needs to go out and get smashed do it without me ,with her friends or if it is such a problem maybe i'm not the guy for her
the trouble i have is i'm a big guy i cant even feel merry on ten pints of cider in england cider is a alcohol laden drink i know in the states its apple juice ,so i need to drink 20 pints well my liver cant take that every day so if 10 aint gona do it what the hell would two pints do for me so none is the only option for me
hang on in there mate there good life is out there lets go find it
i have told my gf that i cant go to pubs or anywhere where people are relying on booze to make them have a good time .if she needs to go out and get smashed do it without me ,with her friends or if it is such a problem maybe i'm not the guy for her
the trouble i have is i'm a big guy i cant even feel merry on ten pints of cider in england cider is a alcohol laden drink i know in the states its apple juice ,so i need to drink 20 pints well my liver cant take that every day so if 10 aint gona do it what the hell would two pints do for me so none is the only option for me
hang on in there mate there good life is out there lets go find it
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Baltimore, MD
Posts: 3
Originally Posted by baldjim
the trouble i have is i'm a big guy i cant even feel merry on ten pints of cider in england cider is a alcohol laden drink i know in the states its apple juice ,so i need to drink 20 pints well my liver cant take that every day so if 10 aint gona do it what the hell would two pints do for me so none is the only option for me
hang on in there mate there good life is out there lets go find it
I told my gf, if she can handle staying out of the bars for a while... Great! if not, the money i save will buy me that harley i always wanted
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