Bad Night In Croydon (Long).
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Join Date: May 2009
Location: UK
Posts: 129
Bad Night In Croydon (Long).
OK hello all. Had a crap evening tonight. More about that shortly.
On Thursday I went to the Group Meeting (not AA)- at my local Rehab Center (where I got the medications to help with the detox).
It went ok I guess. At first I was extremely nervous or anxious (prob. because of my depression/anxiety/ptsd, but also because I don't normally socialise with anyone -I also have social anxiety disorder), I would say for the first 30 minutes that lasted. After that I felt more at ease, possibly because my brain finally let me know that it was a very small Group- only 4 other people.
A Doctor who specialises in treating and working with those who have substance abuse issues then proceeded to talk to us all about the effects of alcohol on the gastrointestinal system and the liver. It was nothing short of an eye-opener. He had bought with him a plastic torso/model of the human body, which has removable organs. I wanted one (but they cost around £100).
I really could not believe what he told us.. not that I didn't believe it, but that it was so horrific...what alcohol..even in small amounts..does to us.. basically it's a Destroyer.. I was continuously thinking, 'I so wish I had known this stuff earlier' and, 'They should teach this at schools'...
Came out of the meeting Gob Smacked (sorry.. Slang for Totally Amazed, etc)...
On Friday I went to Group again (it's a 4-week daily Program, and you have to sign a Contract for it), feeling somewhat less anxious. In fact when I got in the room I didn't feel afraid or anxious at all. So that part was good.
This time a specialist nurse attended, and we just went through our 'plans' for the weekend. Basically what we were going to fill our time with. Probably because the weekend is, for many, (but not all)-a time when you are more likely to drink (or rather be tempted to drink).
I think I am going to be ok with these guys. They seem friendly enough. I don't talk much, but I'm getting there. And that's the point.
I'd just like to add that when the doc had finished his talk on Thursday, I asked him a question about Cirrohsis, as I was worried I might have it. Told him that I had had a blood test done the other week, and the results came back okay. So I asked him did that mean I didn't have it? Yep.
About tonight.
Me and my partner went along to a local store together. Just for some bits and pieces, you know? Anyway... there were some local teenagers (all girls)- in front of her, and she had a shopping trolley to aid her walking (she has 2 bulging discs in her spine and mobility problems). The kids wouldn't move out of the way. It's a narrow aisle. And the store was about to close, so we couldn't 'waste' any time (I hadn't realised that it was shutting earlier tonight).
So she said "Excuse me please", and one of them turned to look at her, and kept looking for some seconds, at which point they moved. They obviously had an attitude.
I'll just add her that my partner has a weight issue. Not an issue to me. I know she needs to lose weight because of her height and more importantly because of her spinal injury.
So [maybe]- this girl had a ..'problem'?.. with my partner's weight. I don't know. All I know is ...that when we got outside, the girls were right behind us. At this point, they hadn't said anything to or 'at' us. We walked away with our shopping.
At the top of ramp leading from the store, we heard laughter. We turned around and it was the same girls, looking back at us (there was no other person near us), and laughing their heads off, 'acting up', and just being plain silly/stupid. I almost exploded. Partner almost exploded in rage. I just turned to her and said 'Leave them be, wait here, we'll let them go on a bit' which, eventually, they did.
All I can say is this (and I'm sorry if I bored you or took so long to do so)- 1. I really really really wanted to go and have a go at them. Which would've led to a fight. Which would've led to the police been called. And me getting arrested.
2. I was literally seconds away from Relapsing. I so (times infinity)- wanted a drink. Even writing this (therfore bring it all up again)-makes me want to....... nope.
I really don't know how. I really don't. But I didn't drink. Weird.
Sorry to keep you so long and thank you for reading.
On Thursday I went to the Group Meeting (not AA)- at my local Rehab Center (where I got the medications to help with the detox).
It went ok I guess. At first I was extremely nervous or anxious (prob. because of my depression/anxiety/ptsd, but also because I don't normally socialise with anyone -I also have social anxiety disorder), I would say for the first 30 minutes that lasted. After that I felt more at ease, possibly because my brain finally let me know that it was a very small Group- only 4 other people.
A Doctor who specialises in treating and working with those who have substance abuse issues then proceeded to talk to us all about the effects of alcohol on the gastrointestinal system and the liver. It was nothing short of an eye-opener. He had bought with him a plastic torso/model of the human body, which has removable organs. I wanted one (but they cost around £100).
I really could not believe what he told us.. not that I didn't believe it, but that it was so horrific...what alcohol..even in small amounts..does to us.. basically it's a Destroyer.. I was continuously thinking, 'I so wish I had known this stuff earlier' and, 'They should teach this at schools'...
Came out of the meeting Gob Smacked (sorry.. Slang for Totally Amazed, etc)...
On Friday I went to Group again (it's a 4-week daily Program, and you have to sign a Contract for it), feeling somewhat less anxious. In fact when I got in the room I didn't feel afraid or anxious at all. So that part was good.
This time a specialist nurse attended, and we just went through our 'plans' for the weekend. Basically what we were going to fill our time with. Probably because the weekend is, for many, (but not all)-a time when you are more likely to drink (or rather be tempted to drink).
I think I am going to be ok with these guys. They seem friendly enough. I don't talk much, but I'm getting there. And that's the point.
I'd just like to add that when the doc had finished his talk on Thursday, I asked him a question about Cirrohsis, as I was worried I might have it. Told him that I had had a blood test done the other week, and the results came back okay. So I asked him did that mean I didn't have it? Yep.
About tonight.
Me and my partner went along to a local store together. Just for some bits and pieces, you know? Anyway... there were some local teenagers (all girls)- in front of her, and she had a shopping trolley to aid her walking (she has 2 bulging discs in her spine and mobility problems). The kids wouldn't move out of the way. It's a narrow aisle. And the store was about to close, so we couldn't 'waste' any time (I hadn't realised that it was shutting earlier tonight).
So she said "Excuse me please", and one of them turned to look at her, and kept looking for some seconds, at which point they moved. They obviously had an attitude.
I'll just add her that my partner has a weight issue. Not an issue to me. I know she needs to lose weight because of her height and more importantly because of her spinal injury.
So [maybe]- this girl had a ..'problem'?.. with my partner's weight. I don't know. All I know is ...that when we got outside, the girls were right behind us. At this point, they hadn't said anything to or 'at' us. We walked away with our shopping.
At the top of ramp leading from the store, we heard laughter. We turned around and it was the same girls, looking back at us (there was no other person near us), and laughing their heads off, 'acting up', and just being plain silly/stupid. I almost exploded. Partner almost exploded in rage. I just turned to her and said 'Leave them be, wait here, we'll let them go on a bit' which, eventually, they did.
All I can say is this (and I'm sorry if I bored you or took so long to do so)- 1. I really really really wanted to go and have a go at them. Which would've led to a fight. Which would've led to the police been called. And me getting arrested.
2. I was literally seconds away from Relapsing. I so (times infinity)- wanted a drink. Even writing this (therfore bring it all up again)-makes me want to....... nope.
I really don't know how. I really don't. But I didn't drink. Weird.
Sorry to keep you so long and thank you for reading.
Last edited by eoghanacht; 06-27-2009 at 04:43 PM. Reason: Added word.
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Join Date: May 2009
Location: SoCal
Posts: 373
Wow! That plus the loud neighbors? You've had a rough couple of nights! And I think you've handled them wonderfully! Well done!
I'm so glad you're getting more comfortable in therapy. It's done wonders for me, even when it's brutal.
I'm so glad you're getting more comfortable in therapy. It's done wonders for me, even when it's brutal.
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