just starting out
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: NY
Posts: 7
just starting out
hello everyone. i'm new to sr within the past few days. so far i have just been perusing the posts which have been helpful, but i thought i might as well jump in. i'm 29 years old and have been stuggling with drinking since i can remember. within the past year, my life completely bottomed out. i essentially ended up homeless, my car was totaled (although i escaped with minor injuries and no one else was hurt), and ultimately i had to move out of state to move in with family to try and recover and re-gain both my mental and financial stability. i did so by becoming sober and in two months time i was well enough to return to my home area and go back out on my own.
upon returning home, i stayed sober for one month, but ultimately began to miss socializing occasionally with friends. i rationalized that if i could could go without a drink for 3 months, then it should be no problem to simply just drink once in a while. that plan quickly got away from me and now, four months later, i am dangerously close to where i was a year ago.
next week i am doing an alcohol intake at a place called new horizons. i have previously been to one aa meeting which i found extremely intimidating. my alcoholism has been so intensely private and painful for me that the idea of trying to share any of that with a roomful of strangers is absolutely daunting. i feel like i am at the very beginning of facing my demons with alcohol and i guess i am just looking for any advice or words of wisdom that anyone might have to offer at this early stage.
thanks!!
jill
upon returning home, i stayed sober for one month, but ultimately began to miss socializing occasionally with friends. i rationalized that if i could could go without a drink for 3 months, then it should be no problem to simply just drink once in a while. that plan quickly got away from me and now, four months later, i am dangerously close to where i was a year ago.
next week i am doing an alcohol intake at a place called new horizons. i have previously been to one aa meeting which i found extremely intimidating. my alcoholism has been so intensely private and painful for me that the idea of trying to share any of that with a roomful of strangers is absolutely daunting. i feel like i am at the very beginning of facing my demons with alcohol and i guess i am just looking for any advice or words of wisdom that anyone might have to offer at this early stage.
thanks!!
jill
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
Hi Jill 
Welcome to SR. My advice for the moment is just to read as much as you can and post as much as you like.
I hope signing up here, together with your plans next week, can be the start of a new life for you
D
Welcome to SR. My advice for the moment is just to read as much as you can and post as much as you like.
I hope signing up here, together with your plans next week, can be the start of a new life for you
D
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Hi Jill.....
I hope you found our Alcoholism Forum and checked out the
sticky post There is a lot of info that can benefit you.
Glad you decided to join us...thanks for posting.
Yes...you too can quit drinking and enjoy a sober life
I hope you found our Alcoholism Forum and checked out the
sticky post There is a lot of info that can benefit you.
Glad you decided to join us...thanks for posting.
Yes...you too can quit drinking and enjoy a sober life
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Here, Now
Posts: 4,268
Well, I've been a member of this forum for almost a day now,that qualifies me to give advice:-) Actually, I've been active in my drinking (until 81 daze ago) for over 45 years. Its taught me a most valuable lesson,that I knew nothing. I understand the pain and shame drinking can cause. To share the fragile hidden parts of us with anyone including a room full of strangers. However, among fellow drunks and druggies I'm learning that the things we keep most hidden from others is the same thing we most share in common. Welcome, risking openness and honesty won't kill you, fear and secrecy might.
Buddhism teaches interdependence to counter the pain of isolation of alcoholism/addiction. Interdependence and connection can then counter the disease(addiction) of metaphorically being "the dragon in the corner eating your own tail”.
Things to do to alleviate isolation:
* Attend AA meetings, meet with your sponsor
* Break the “no-talk” rule and talk to a trusted friend about your isolation
* Attend a retreat or workshop
* Join a counseling group
* Join a book club, or other kind of club
* Attend groups with common interests
Our sobriety is an individual's responsibility but a group's project. Namaste (I bow to you)
Buddhism teaches interdependence to counter the pain of isolation of alcoholism/addiction. Interdependence and connection can then counter the disease(addiction) of metaphorically being "the dragon in the corner eating your own tail”.
Things to do to alleviate isolation:
* Attend AA meetings, meet with your sponsor
* Break the “no-talk” rule and talk to a trusted friend about your isolation
* Attend a retreat or workshop
* Join a counseling group
* Join a book club, or other kind of club
* Attend groups with common interests
Our sobriety is an individual's responsibility but a group's project. Namaste (I bow to you)
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 118
Originally Posted by Provider 
I feel your pain. I am currently at my bottom trying to salvage my life. Don't think you are alone in this. There is a ton of good info here, it is helping me. Stay strong and keep posting.
Good luck to you, Jill, and welcome.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: LA - Lower Alabama
Posts: 5,068
Hi jill and welcome to SR.
What did you find so intimidating about AA? AA is not for everyone. There are non AA recovery groups, you should check out the secular forum here.
Good luck and keep posting.
What did you find so intimidating about AA? AA is not for everyone. There are non AA recovery groups, you should check out the secular forum here.
Good luck and keep posting.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
Jill, welcome to the family. It's wonderful that you see what needs to be done much sooner than most of us. At your age I hadn't begun to think of a life without alcohol. I kept trying to moderate until it almost took my life. You can avoid all the chaos. I am sorry for all you've been through, but if that's what it took to bring you to this crossroads, it was worth it.
We're looking forward to hearing more about your journey. You're not alone anymore.
We're looking forward to hearing more about your journey. You're not alone anymore.
Awaiting Email Confirmation
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 2,942
Welcome to SR, and welcome to your new life...!
"i have previously been to one aa meeting which i found extremely intimidating."
I felt the exact same way... but I realized that it was time for me to grow up.
I accepted the adult challenge of doing things that previously intimitaded me.
Recovery might not be easy, but it is very fulfilling.
"i have previously been to one aa meeting which i found extremely intimidating."
I felt the exact same way... but I realized that it was time for me to grow up.
I accepted the adult challenge of doing things that previously intimitaded me.
Recovery might not be easy, but it is very fulfilling.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: WI
Posts: 72
I'm new too, so advice isn't something I should be giving out. But I want to say hi and that I'm thinking about you. I do know what its like to feel ashamed/embarrassed about your drinking, but I think sharing can be very cathartic. Keep coming to SR, its helped me immensely to just read other's experiences and to realize that I'm not alone.
Finding the Light! 10/13/09
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 38
Originally Posted by Provider
I feel your pain. I am currently at my bottom trying to salvage my life. Don't think you are alone in this. There is a ton of good info here, it is helping me. Stay strong and keep posting.
Sending strength to you all!
One day at a time! We can all do this!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 542
Dear Jill,
A huge "Welcome" to the SR Family!! You have made a wise choice for your future and are only beginning to embark on this wonderful Journey of Sobriety. I am someone who SWORE they would never go to AA in my life. Yes...the first meeting can be somewhat intimidating. However, in a short time myself, I found that it was very "Reassuring" to hear all these people speak about "Me"?! All "new things" and changes are fearful to us but in time we can learn to conquer our fears. AA is a truly amazing and inspiring was of life. I hope and pray that you will give it a "second chance" to literally change you to being someone you would never believe you could and will become. I did and I will be Forever Grateful that I did!
Besides that, SR is a very loving, caring and supportive family that will be here to support you and listen twenty-four hours a day! I wish you all the very best in your Journey.
I also wish all those others new here the same!
Love Pancake xo
A huge "Welcome" to the SR Family!! You have made a wise choice for your future and are only beginning to embark on this wonderful Journey of Sobriety. I am someone who SWORE they would never go to AA in my life. Yes...the first meeting can be somewhat intimidating. However, in a short time myself, I found that it was very "Reassuring" to hear all these people speak about "Me"?! All "new things" and changes are fearful to us but in time we can learn to conquer our fears. AA is a truly amazing and inspiring was of life. I hope and pray that you will give it a "second chance" to literally change you to being someone you would never believe you could and will become. I did and I will be Forever Grateful that I did!
Besides that, SR is a very loving, caring and supportive family that will be here to support you and listen twenty-four hours a day! I wish you all the very best in your Journey.
I also wish all those others new here the same!
Love Pancake xo
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: New England
Posts: 95
Hi Jill, welcome and glad you found us! I'm rather new myself, so while I don't have a lot of advice I do know what you mean about facing your demons. Stick around and share, there is a ton of wisdom and experience here!
TC MI
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Traverse city MI
Posts: 73
Hi Jill, I to am starting over.. SR has been a great help for me in the past.. I know what u mean about AA being intimating it was for me to at first but looking back it sure was nice to know i wasn't alone in this.. hope to hear more from u..
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: On my way
Posts: 173
Welcome Jill
I have been trying to beat this for years!!! I also struggle with shame, embarressment and complete disappointment in myself. I was shocked how much support and help I have found here by just reading and posting. I never imagined it would help me as much as it has. There is nothing easy about this, so every little thing that works/helps....gotta stay strong and focused and living the life you really want to be living!! Good luck to you
I have been trying to beat this for years!!! I also struggle with shame, embarressment and complete disappointment in myself. I was shocked how much support and help I have found here by just reading and posting. I never imagined it would help me as much as it has. There is nothing easy about this, so every little thing that works/helps....gotta stay strong and focused and living the life you really want to be living!! Good luck to you
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